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"our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure" - FSU CARE ESSAY

3 - Made all the changes above. Thank you....

UndergraduatePRS1010 - Nov 24, 2010PRS1010 - Nov 24, 2010
MUN or Travelling experience - Why Columbia? - Which version is better?

4 - Thank you very much, both of you :)...

Undergraduateengdetective - Nov 22, 2010engdetective - Nov 24, 2010
Sugar and spice and everything nice. (my world)

7 - hi I think ur off the topic. The dreams and aspirations should be the focus. Also it can't b...

UndergraduateNatttalie - Nov 24, 2010sarah parker - Nov 24, 2010
"All I cared about was my mom" - where I come from. Is it clear?

3 - Good job. you've really answer the prompt. Just like I-han said elaborate the second paragraph so as to make...

UndergraduateChma2 - Nov 24, 2010adex - Nov 24, 2010
The loves of my life: Video games and Computer Science- MIT short answers

2 - Yes, I do lead a busy life full of excitement and eagerness. At times when I feel addle, for...

UndergraduateNerdGoneCrazy - Oct 22, 2010Shanky - Nov 24, 2010
(Working with seniors) Short Answer for Common Application

2 - This is a great topic, and your methodical way of writing is very impressive, but this introduction could...

Undergraduatesunzml - Nov 14, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
I seek truth. My drive to find the right question and learn the true answer defines who I am.

10 - yes, honesty is the best policy. truth is only one, and lies are thousand sencences. to truth comes...

UndergraduateMarleyWH - Nov 12, 2010aishwary18 - Nov 24, 2010
"Natural Disasters 101" Colorado College Supplement

3 - Let's make this a "hook" to grab the reader's attention... change it so that it says something interesting....

Undergraduatemelkorthefoul - Nov 14, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
"Sports, Dedication", personal talent/quality

4 - Try not to ever start a paragraph with a boring sentence. This sentence is boring because it does...

Undergraduatedreamcatcher - Nov 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
Law and Marketing. UC prompt----"My gap year"

NEW - Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this...

Undergraduateleia624 - Nov 24, 2010 -
Working women have happier lives. for or against?

4 - it is good topic, and sure to write in possitive only. more and more advantage to the society...

Writing Feedbackmervischsouth - Nov 22, 2010aishwary18 - Nov 24, 2010
"resources available in the College of arts and sciences" -Cornell

5 - You have some redundant words here... it might be better not to include "always," because you used "since."...

Undergraduategjp11 - Nov 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
use number or write it out? one sentence.

3 - The rules of style change depending on which set of style guidelines you use -- MLA, Chicago, APA, etc......

Grammar, Usagesmiley001 - Nov 14, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
Athletes and drug abuse - thesis statement needed

3 - I think it is best to write the thesis statement AFTER you have written a few paragraphs about your...

Research Paperslbrace90 - Nov 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
"pressures to be in a relationship" / "gay rights in high school" College Essay Ideas

2 - I much prefer idea 2. Idea 2 is a national issue and extremely relevant with events having taken place...

Essayscoeurreign - Nov 24, 2010koolaid3219 - Nov 24, 2010
"extensive research in System domain" - SOP for MS in CS

2 - As a modern theory states that learning is more efficient by doing,--------------------Is it a "modern theory" or a "saying"?...

Graduatecoolzero - Nov 24, 2010dumi - Nov 24, 2010
"Growing up Korean in an 85 percent Asian city" - world I come from

NEW - Essay Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell...

Undergraduategotchr15t - Nov 24, 2010 -
Communal life on a Hutterite Colony - Transfer Essay

NEW - Hi, I am applying as a transfer student to Pitt. Any advice would be appreciated. Instructions If...

Undergraduatecjk - Nov 24, 2010 -
To Fill an Obvious Void in My Community

3 - Is there a word limit? You can specify the conditions you faced and how you overcame them through your...

ScholarshipJustlishbaby - Oct 28, 2010Chma2 - Nov 24, 2010
Software Developer from India, SOP for MS in CS -feed back

NEW - Please provide valuable suggestion on the content...Felt like my inspiration in the childhood was quite lengthy. still holding to...

Graduatejanemarshal - Nov 24, 2010 -
"Dawn in the midnight" - Topic of your choice-Commonapp-Main Essay

2 - I don't understand this part: Not far away from them, I stood quietly with my friends-also Qi's.---do you...

Undergraduatecoockie - Nov 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
"Education, school kids, classroom" - issue of importance admission

3 - Way too much use of the word throughout in that first para. The way you wrote the first...

Undergraduateanthony1993 - Nov 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
An experience: baskin robbins.

4 - Just jotting down some thoughts: Essays starting with well executed quotes can be really effective; however, the quote...

Undergraduateanthonyschoi - Nov 23, 2010theAbraham - Nov 24, 2010
"National Student Leadership Conference" My program (prompt #2)

NEW - Hi, my name is Chris and I was hoping for you guys to give me some insight on my...

UndergraduateChma2 - Nov 24, 2010 -
My experience with art and architecture. -UTAustin Admission

3 - These first two sentences are sort of uninteresting. They are bland, I guess. This is bland, too:...

Undergraduatesmiley001 - Nov 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 23, 2010
"totally like whatever you know" and "a mending wall" - compare/contrast poems

2 - Hi Josh, if you make a post like this asking for help, you should show a little effort by...

Poetryjstovall31 - Nov 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 23, 2010
"Gaming Revelation" - personal talent, quality UC 2 Prompt

3 - If you did not intend, I have to say sorry. But this is funny essay. I laughed a lot....

UndergraduatePinkDori - Nov 13, 2010pokopoko999 - Nov 23, 2010
China Exchange student leads me to business world. why i am interested in business?

8 - Oh i like your suggestions!! I will take that!Thanks so much and I really appreicate it!!!And thanks for your...

Undergraduatebabyjess - Nov 22, 2010babyjess - Nov 23, 2010
Determination - UC essay prompt #2 I am in the lost of words

3 - ^I like that idea. Try to tie playing the guitar back to your character- what you've learned from...

Undergraduatemegazeroxuxm - Nov 20, 2010ilmeari - Nov 23, 2010
"When learning don't take the easy path" - Your reasons for transferring, etc.

4 - This is well written, and it definitely will impress the reader, but it lacks focus because you do not...

Undergraduatero51092 - Nov 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 23, 2010
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