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(volunteering) COMMON APP -- General Essay, significant achievement, risk

4 - During my time there I met tons of interesting people the word "tons" does not really fit into the...

Undergraduatejkstumpf - Oct 28, 2010mariatateno - Nov 6, 2010
Interest in Medicine/Rutgers Essay

5 - You say your interest in medicine ended when you were 13, but you still carried on working at the...

UndergraduateABoris - Oct 29, 2010mariatateno - Nov 6, 2010
"My intellectual curiosity, Doorbells" - Personal Statement

6 - Nicely expressed, although I would recommend making the first paragraph a bit more engaging - to ensure that admissions...

Undergraduateboyohboy17 - Oct 24, 2010Kaiser - Nov 6, 2010
"Polymer Engineering" - STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR GRADUATE ADMISSION

2 - Think about it once. What is "a well trained chemical engineer?" Don't you think it is a vague...

Graduatetusharmilan - Nov 3, 2010ershad193 - Nov 6, 2010
UIUC Academic Interests + Activity Essays - Chemical Engineering

3 - ur start is rlly good...it encapsulated me when u say dat "what u lack in english, you make up...

Undergraduatesisedi92 - Oct 27, 2010gomoksh - Nov 6, 2010
"my dad is still in my life" - Influential Person

2 - .for me ur essay is good. .and ur grammar is good. . .you use the words correctly and fited...

Undergraduatewalleyefishing - Nov 1, 2010cornelia - Nov 6, 2010
Optional, open topic essay: "My first concert and it's signifigance" Feedback?

2 - It was one of those days you count down to, and prepare for, for weeks ahead of time, even...

UndergraduateGreenbeans - Nov 1, 2010EF_Susan - Nov 6, 2010
The Appalachia Service Project - Does this essay explain how ASP impacted me?

2 - That's what I was told before going on my first trip to the mountains of Tennessee, fixing houses for...

Undergraduatelizziem - Nov 1, 2010EF_Susan - Nov 5, 2010
"Application of statistics" to appy to the school of engineering at Rice University?

2 - If the sentence starts with a number, write it in words: Forty-three percent of all women will ... ...

UndergraduateHam4562 - Oct 29, 2010EF_Susan - Nov 5, 2010
Political Science Essay Question - formulating a thesis

6 - To make a strong thesis statement, say something interesting. To say something interesting, say something that some people would...

Essaysthescoot - Sep 23, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 5, 2010
"Stuck in the Moment"--Common application question

3 - I don't know if this is a good sentence to include. It makes it sound like you were...

Undergraduatejmadrigales - Oct 29, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
"Tragedy stuck my family" - Significant Challenge - short answer

4 - My world changed that year; I had to learn to grow up and cope with the circumstances.-----This is a...

Undergraduateperplexity215 - Oct 29, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
Human needs for farmland, housing and industry are more than saving land

4 - Dumi made a good correction here, especially at the beginning. Here is a way you could use "contemporary if...

Writing Feedbackwkp - Oct 29, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
"dismissed from the college as a result of meager grades" - Readmission essay

5 - The good news is that this essay shows excellent writing skill. You can't write well if you are unable...

UndergraduateAvatarroku - Oct 29, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
China, the journey of a lifetime (short common app answer)

5 - One more thing! Make it parallel verb structure: Living in China showed me another perspective into the ways of...

Undergraduateswimfast92 - Oct 28, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
My parents, influential persons - UT Austin

3 - Thank you for the suggestions!...

Undergraduatealee - Nov 5, 2010alee - Nov 5, 2010
"My grandmother diagnosed with lung cancer," Loyola significant influence

2 - To say "one experience" implies "one of several." But when you say "most," it is superlative.. so there...

Undergraduatebuckykent - Oct 28, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
"Music is a necessity for me" - Stanford: future roommate short essay

4 - Hello, This essay has some good concepts, but the structure needs some work. If you start a paragraph...

Undergraduatecaptaincrunch - Oct 28, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
"the Canzonetta Youth Orchestra" - UIUC Essay 2: my trip to france

4 - Ah! This is perfect. I don't want to recommend any changes, because it has great energy that you might...

Undergraduateiwantcollege - Oct 28, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
"Academic Decathlon" - Common App Extracurricular Essay

4 - Remove either the word both or the word alike from that first sentence. They have the same function, so...

Undergraduatelittlechef - Oct 27, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
location, diversity, opportunities, and weather - "Why Stanford"

3 - Your first paragraph is not very strong. I see that you write well, and I don'[t mean to be...

Undergraduateoliviaglazner - Oct 27, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
Habitat for Humanity Common App Short Answer

7 - Here is a lesson called "less is more" It would be better if the second half of the first...

Undergraduatetomato - Oct 27, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
"Being a twin" University of Madison App

4 - Growing up, I've always had one person there for me, someone that knows me from the inside out. A...

Undergraduatetstephenson - Oct 27, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
"The pen is mightier than the sword": Elaborate on an extracurricular activity

4 - As a child, I couldn't just read notes, like as if they were simple English, like so many...

Undergraduateysabelbrown - Oct 28, 2010EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2010
UF essay: "A Trip To Remember," diverse background.

2 - I grew up and to this day live in a multi-faceted life where I am immersed in both a...

Essaysbiankizzle - Nov 1, 2010EF_Susan - Nov 5, 2010
"percentage change in average house prices + no job, no life" - IELTS essay

2 - As a saying goes, "no job, no life", a majority of parts of the adult lives are spent aton...

Writing Feedbackanarkia - Nov 5, 2010bemytthm - Nov 5, 2010
Contrast essay on the 2 faces of Delia Grinstead (to contrast Delia)

3 - Thank you for your help. This forum is a life-saver.:)...

Book Reportsamkris1 - Oct 18, 2010amkris1 - Nov 5, 2010
Topic: In your opinion what factors contribute a good employee.

2 - first of all, i don't like the introduction "nowadays, most of people are working for a company" i think...

Writing Feedbacktoteri - Nov 5, 2010danado0ona - Nov 5, 2010
'Three girls and no boys carrying my name' - Physical Therapy PTCAS essay

3 - I also am replying to this same question :) Where are you going from here? Explain why you...

GraduateLaur03 - Oct 31, 2010stinaturner - Nov 5, 2010
Most appealing about Columbia = it fits the mold of my expectations

3 - I agree with ershad193 that your first sentence seems very out of place. All in all, I think your...

Undergraduate85142cc - Nov 3, 2010pao - Nov 5, 2010
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