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Narrative essay about how was my feeling about getting money.

3 - Namrata, thanks for the time you invested here... great advice. I agree that Sim's attempt is not bad. It's...

Writing Feedbackhowtowrite - Oct 11, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2010
"the Viet Cong soldiers" - stanford- intellectually engaging... help on editing!

3 - Past verb tense: closed rummaged Soon, a huge meaty hand reached out of the darkness and swiftly lifted...

Undergraduatejennjenn - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2010
Physician Assistant Personal Statement- why I need to be a PA- career change

2 - This first sentence raises questions in my mind. A sales representative always has an agenda (i.e. to make...

Undergraduatetajvic - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2010
"my passion in biochemistry" - Scholarship for Science Majors

3 - I don't understand this part! But maybe it is just because you are smarter than me. However, in...

ScholarshipAztec - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2010
Commonapp Essay: How my mom has influenced me

3 - Your intro is nice, and it is interesting, but consider an alternative: I'm sure that this is not the...

Undergraduatealyssamarie - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2010
"Changes I would make if I had a second chance" - Purdue Prompt

3 - My friends convinced me to run on our school's cross country team instead of running on my own.---- I...

UndergraduateSteigerS - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2010
"apology for any future trouble I may bring" - Note to your roommate-- Stanford Essay

7 - Good job! Overall it's a well structured note. Some small grammar mistakes, but it's not a big problem comparing...

Undergraduatecrabball - Oct 13, 2010vladic007 - Oct 14, 2010
"Taylor, my American brother!" - Stanford "Letter to a roommate..."

5 - The letter is really an interesting one. I must say that i was greatly surprised reading, "Meanwhile, I have...

Undergraduatesimbamaxxed - Oct 7, 2010crabball - Oct 14, 2010
"Paintball and Life Changing Experience" UF application essay

3 - It's a shame not to pack more punch in this sentence instead of "I would love to hear...

Undergraduateteh1337c - Oct 10, 2010linmark - Oct 14, 2010
The Upward Bound program - Penn State Personal Statement

2 - I attended the U of Penn's Upward Bound program for the past four years which has prepared me for...

Undergraduatety4704 - Oct 12, 2010fjfjfjf - Oct 14, 2010
"Honor towards One's Mother and Father" - I need help summing up my essay on honor.

8 - thankyou to both of you, this really helped a lot! and I am about to go read your...

Writing FeedbackSupernewtJR - Oct 13, 2010SupernewtJR - Oct 14, 2010
Students should go to the army course with 12 months after their graduation?

3 - Politics is always a number one matter in a country. To prepare for war posibility in advance, going to...

Writing Feedbackthaitam - Oct 11, 2010thaitam - Oct 14, 2010
SOP: The importance of opening statement?

4 - Thanks for the comments guys....

GraduateTarget1600 - Oct 9, 2010Target1600 - Oct 13, 2010
Pers.Essay: A Time When I Encountered Something Greater Than Myself--Poverty in India

5 - Thank you so VERY much for all the feedback. I wasn't expecting any at all; your comments were more...

Writing Feedbacktmiplease - Oct 8, 2010tmiplease - Oct 13, 2010
Compare/Contrast Family Dynamics

3 - Thank you soo much for the help, I got an A haha...

Writing Feedbacknn8nk - Oct 7, 2010nn8nk - Oct 13, 2010
"commitment to culture and volunteering" - Why Duke

2 - Boy Scouts and local hospital volunteer work has have enabled allowed me find happiness in the pleasure of...

UndergraduateDuke9316 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
Personal Statement for an Electrical Engineer ("what makes the most money")

4 - "I realize now that at that moment I, unknowingly, devoted my life to becoming an engineer -- not for...

Undergraduatefrancisjungle - Oct 6, 2010crabball - Oct 13, 2010
extracurricular activity essay - First Aid Squad

3 - I like the intro, and I like the ending. You did a cool thing with the history of sugar...

Undergraduateishfish82 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
"Music is my canvas" - help making this essay more exciting would be great.

2 - I feel the Latin word artes referring to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or...

Undergraduatekaugustine69 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
Imagery describing my college campus

2 - Sitting on top of a hill enables one to overlook the beautiful lake with unbridled flows of water that...

UndergraduateRyanVi16 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
"No 7th cranial nerve" - Virus,Mores, Artes.

3 - Tan Vi did a great job of thoroughly analyzing this essay! The part I want to comment on...

Undergraduateseminole1 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
A Life Long lesson Learned

3 - I don't think they all spoke this sentence, so don't use " " marks. You can just keep...

Writing FeedbackKathyChen - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
An essay about music and college life - UCF admission

6 - Thanks! That's good advice. She is brand new to it, so ... yeah... I get to choose one....

Undergraduateduhpaper - Oct 4, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
".. after I took a law class" - Penn State Personal Statement

3 - Moving around did not stir my learning capability. I want to get rid of this, because you already...

UndergraduateDanielle7000 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
Tackling the 100 mile hike - a meaningful event, experience

5 - No! Don't say the breathtaking view took my breath away. You have to come up with a different...

Undergraduatekiwi - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
"Ignorance in Society" Issue of Importance - UT Essay B

4 - no need for spaces with a hyphen: close-knit Can you make that first para more concise and ...clearer?...

UndergraduateRamyaRam - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
Application: A.P.A.C - Organization I've participated in outside of my cultural group

2 - For most of my life, cultural differences were not something that I'd nothing I ever paid much attention to....

Undergraduatealyssamarie - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
"Being Muslim" - UCF Amissions Essay: How my culture has influenced who i am.

3 - Doing...-----> requires However, doing these certain responsibilities requires dedication and commitment. When I decided to wear the head scarf...

Writing FeedbackZunaira94 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
"Human survival will depend on effective measures to cope with ecological problems"

2 - This is a very good, clear thesis, but I think you should list words that tell what the...

Writing Feedbackqwerty123456789 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
"big passion about the finance." - admision essay for academic and career goals

3 - Thanks, Linmark, for helping me make sure everyone has responses to their essays! If you use checker, you'll see...

Undergraduatelje15342 - Oct 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010
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