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"to adapt to a new environment" - Overcoming obstacles and Excelling (SOP)

7 - I aggree with the people above, adding a bit of creativity into an essay never hurts, unless its some...

UndergraduateHamzaKP - Sep 14, 2010pintianz - Sep 19, 2010
"It's just a matter of time and intelligence." - Ethical Dilemma

15 - wow, harsh. Well, I guess there is wisdom to that... I like the way the essay ended....

Undergraduatefreezard7734 - Aug 28, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
"Influential Jonathan", Write an essay on how someone has greatly impacted your life

3 - Ha ha, I can already tell it is going to be great. 'm already enjoying your writing in...

UndergraduateSilvra - Sep 16, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
"an intel officer" - University of Texas at Austin admissions essay

7 - This is strong... not a single wasted word, really. I wonder if you want to end paragraph one with...

Undergraduateaustindenny - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
"my dad is Superman" - about someone who has made an impact on your life

7 - Awesome! That's great. Fix the typo, though... the missing letter n. And here I think you are...

Undergraduatescubamax - Sep 16, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
Letter From the Renaissance to Alfonzo

3 - No you don't! How did you learn to write so well? If you know of any books that...

LettersJolee - Sep 16, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
"seize the day" - Seeking UF Admission Essay Revision and Corrections

4 - Very wise. I guess wisdom comes from painful experience. You reminded me of a book called No Death,...

UndergraduateDSchultz321 - Sep 16, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
"to look at the positive side" + "UCF's beautiful campus" - ucf undergraduate essay!

7 - It's a cliche. I guess I don't like this sentence. Consider starting with this: My initial reaction...

Undergraduatealibaba5 - Sep 13, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
"addicted to something addictive" - It is just a Daily Journal

4 - You certainly are right. Your journaling is as meaningful and significant as anyone's writing about anything. I'm glad...

Writing Feedbackeastspringkim - Sep 16, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
Camp counselor vs soccer vs Volunteer?

3 - I know what Mark means, for sure. People often mess up their essays by trying to tell everything instead...

Undergraduatecarlynnross - Sep 16, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
"Doctor's dream and life commitment" - Why The Ohio State University?

5 - You can impress them with your grammar if you do this: I would like to attend Ohio State...

Undergraduatecmariew - Sep 16, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
Peace Corps Application Essays: Motivation and Cultural Experience

4 - Why Titles are Powerful I think a title is as powerful as the thesis statement. An essay...

Graduatekkendall686 - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010
"Part of the Solution"--Peace Corp Application Essay #1

14 - Ok, cool!! :) If you post a new draft, then I'll definitely take another look....

Graduatekaybee87 - Sep 11, 2010ershad193 - Sep 19, 2010
"brave heroes", English GCSE Creative Writing about Anything

3 - i like the concept behind you essay. i feel like susan as also made the necessary corrections...

Writing FeedbackMerkeysa - Sep 16, 2010ginny2345 - Sep 19, 2010
How to start an introduction paragraph about someone that influenced me (my son)?

4 - Hello there, you can start like this: During the course of our life, we all have met...

Undergraduatejenniexr0cks - Sep 15, 2010concord123 - Sep 18, 2010
A career in Physical Therapy: 2010-2011 DPT PTCAS Admissions ESSAY

2 - The tense is mixed up here, and thee is unnecessary capitalization... and...put an s on the end of environments:...

Graduatecmorehowardu - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
"You only get one shot in life" - Rutgers Undergrad essay

4 - Everyone enrolled in Rutgers always has a story to tell, whether it be about their past experiences, what they...

UndergraduateRPike - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
"Memoirs of a Teenage Hostess" - Common App Personal Essay

11 - Nice! I'll just try a different arrangement here: Instead, you will find a teenage hostess, who may not...

Undergraduateih8artichokes - Aug 17, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
who influences you and how. my big sister Erin

6 - I like the way Mark cut material. Megan, you do write well with a kind of naturalness that many...

Undergraduatenotagoodwritter - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
"I had to be mentally strong": The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores"

2 - This essay is strong. It is bad that you went through this suffering, but you always will have it...

Undergraduateayjayjay2 - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
"why did you choose to work while in high school?" - Osu Essay Help

5 - hyphen: eye-opening eye-opening experience when I s ee how tough they can be to handle at times. ...

Undergraduatejsieger93 - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
"physical therapy - personal characteristics and motivation" PTCAS General essay

2 - Typo Unnecessary capitalization Ha ha, this is interesting. Nice... Use colon instead: college:...

Graduatefoursqzx6 - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
"The acting business" - Transfer to Rutgers - Personal Statement

2 - I like the specific way you list them, but they are all vague. I would be more impressed...

Undergraduatetransfernow - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
My shoulder and my friend - journal writing

3 - Since yesterday my shoulder has been appropriately operating, which means that whenever I try to use my shoulder to...

Writing Feedbackeastspringkim - Sep 17, 2010susu - Sep 18, 2010
Ideas on a Narrative Essay on a mistake in my life.

4 - Not helpful. No purpose for this sentence. A mistake I made was not taking high school seriously...

EssaysIcychill - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
"the use of computer vision techniques" - SOP for PHD in Computer Science

2 - Awesome, Hector, I hope you write an essay sometime about these subjects. I am very interested in the...

GraduateHector - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
"My dad passed away when i was just 11 years old", an application essay.

17 - Paige, your writing is good, but you have a few grammar and punctuation errors. Here are a few: ...

Undergraduateptmx326 - Aug 30, 2010mynameisrena - Sep 18, 2010
Happiness is a state of mind; Realizing Happiness

2 - Various would be a good word here: People from all walks of life try to achieve happiness through various...

Writing Feedbackasokapalama - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2010
The concept of Truth and Happiness: About 1984 & Brave New World

4 - Truth is opposed to happiness. Both truth and happiness seem meaningless concepts. Focus on these concepts. Have you...

Book Reportsswk - Sep 15, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 17, 2010
"Embracing life and not battlig it" - Significant Experience & its Impact on Me

8 - I reposted the draft of this essay on another thread at the bottom of the page, I also need...

UndergraduatePenasteph07 - Sep 13, 2010Penasteph07 - Sep 17, 2010
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