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Musical audition - common app 1

4 - Thanks everyone! This obviously is very helpful to me. also where it says "Bishop Hendricken" in the first...

Undergraduatemikedaman9892 - Aug 14, 2009mikedaman9892 - Aug 15, 2009
'working in teams' - admission to a PhD program - cover letter

5 - Right, either you want a pure cover letter that says nothing other than "here are my materials" or you...

Letterszawash - Aug 14, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 15, 2009
"Difference challenges assumption" - UMich admission eassy

7 - I don't have any more to say. This is a very strong essay. Probably, you're not getting many comments...

Undergraduatefat_b - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 15, 2009
Frankenstein Essay: Critiques?

3 - A thesis needs to be debatable. Your isn't. Say something about the message of the book, preferably something that...

Writing Feedbackkenziii - Aug 14, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 15, 2009
Failing in school - Significant experience

10 - This is probably too negative for an application essay on this topic. You were a lazy student who did...

Undergraduateeect13 - Aug 12, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 15, 2009
"We the People" - Undergrad Admissions Essay for Ivies? Critique =)

29 - How are the other paragraphs? Do I focus too much on the setting of the competition (in the first...

Undergraduatezam614 - Jul 13, 2009zam614 - Aug 15, 2009
Analytical Assignment: use the images in the picture to show our culture

6 - Simone and Sean, thank you very much!^^ This is a great forum!...

Essayskplusy - Aug 15, 2009kplusy - Aug 15, 2009
Common App - Topic of Your Choice (Willie Jack)

4 - Well if this is a topic of your choice, and the essay is titled after your dog, you do...

Undergraduateshelby_l - Aug 14, 2009Liebe - Aug 15, 2009
"Good morning, visitors!"

10 - I wonder about gender. Starting in puberty, girls start to downplay their skills and achievements while boys tend to...

Undergraduatezay - Aug 13, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 14, 2009
Essay about important characteristics of a co-worker.

5 - ok, right, when I compare with the past, this characteristic is as vital as now. thanks...

Writing Feedbackarsdtbk - Aug 13, 2009arsdtbk - Aug 14, 2009
Values & Theroretical Perspectives In Society

5 - Thanks for the tips...

EssaysElleStar - Aug 13, 2009ElleStar - Aug 14, 2009
My dad has sensitive skin; Casa Grande High School, UC Essay #2

15 - I have to turn this in later today. I feel confident with this draft. Any last comments? Loud...

Undergraduatehawaii2010 - Aug 13, 2009hawaii2010 - Aug 14, 2009
an internship in the surgery department - common app short answer.

8 - Haha... The first two sentences take up valuable space that can be used to introduce your actual volunteer...

Undergraduatetal105 - Aug 13, 2009Llamapoop123 - Aug 14, 2009
Essay for U-Chicago - it's a little childish..

32 - You are right! Thank you very much! Right now I am considering of using the idea of "Are we...

Undergraduatetiantian12 - Jul 12, 2009kangnahua - Aug 14, 2009
Common Application Essay #1/Skating

6 - Thanks for the input. I realize that the essay needs a title. Any thoughts on this: ...

Undergraduatezeb1234 - Aug 12, 2009zeb1234 - Aug 14, 2009
"Swim coach Marks" - Admission essay 2 for UT

8 - I agree with the other comments-I think the essay is very well-written. Your voice really comes through in your...

UndergraduateMoreJosh - Aug 13, 20092010nbailey - Aug 14, 2009
"Running away"; "I'm sorry for all that is happening, but..." - rate my essay

7 - You need to clarify much more. The entire work is interesting but makes very little sense and threatens to...

Writing Feedbackkennethfatty - Jul 29, 2009kenziii - Aug 14, 2009
Our lives abound with examples of the importance of remaining creative

4 - Give the reader some examples about creativity in the modern world.....

Writing FeedbackDiddy - Aug 3, 2009kenziii - Aug 14, 2009
Should I include names in my essay?

7 - i like it! butt heres some things you may want to consider if your doing the common app online,...

Undergraduateppthecat - Aug 13, 2009tal105 - Aug 14, 2009
"Wildfires in Texas" - admission essay for UT

6 - this essay is very good. at first i thought o boyy, heres another essay beginning with descrpition, but then...

UndergraduateMoreJosh - Aug 13, 2009tal105 - Aug 13, 2009
Personal statement- work experience, the first day of my internship

4 - I personally liked the reference to your father in the first version, especially if that really was what you...

Undergraduateppthecat - Aug 13, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
"Observing or studying animals" - how to find some standpoints on a topic?

4 - Thank you guys sooooooooo much! I appriciate that. Anyhow, I hope this topic wouldn't appear in my test... I'm...

EssaysYanzi - Aug 13, 2009Yanzi - Aug 13, 2009
personal statement topic (my family, their love and care)

12 - I agree with ppthecat. Your essay could be copy/pasted into a lot of other applications without many changes. You...

Undergraduatenuniji - Aug 3, 20092010nbailey - Aug 13, 2009
"the California State Summer School for the Arts" - TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK

3 - K thanx :]...

UndergraduateLesleigh101 - Aug 13, 2009Lesleigh101 - Aug 13, 2009
"My technical focus" - MBA Essay Review

6 - The example is your first sentence. Who or what is the subject of that sentence? A stint. According to...

Graduateprasun8463 - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
"my Girl Scout leaders" - university of florida addmision essay.

5 - S orry,I suck at the w hole writ ing thing (obviously) and I don' t feel like I should...

Undergraduatejokichrun - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
"what do you want to be when you grow up?" - UM-Flint Essay

18 - Yes. If submitting the application online, it most most definitely includes spaces. I am a current applicant myself,...

Undergraduatemichellemariex5 - Aug 10, 2009kcmama8 - Aug 13, 2009
"consistent hard work" - Statement of Purpose: Computer Science

7 - I think so. I think it will intrigue the reader....

GraduateJeba - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
My parent's smile and joy- experiences that helped to define you as a person

5 - We can't help you construct an opening sentence because we don't understand what you posted so far and have...

Undergraduatems_bella - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
"My world, consisting of the people" - UC Personal Statement Prompt #1

2 - I'm sorry to hear that, because your introduction needs work. For what it's worth, I'll tell you what...

Undergraduateclownfish - Aug 13, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
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