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BU essays (School of Management)

7 - This image of the boy scratching out letters is powerful. Perhaps it deserves a little more description: He...

Undergraduatesilversweet - Dec 16, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008
NUS application's essay (Mid-Autumn Festival, a Vietnamese festival)

4 - Well, it is no surprise that you can write in a meaningful way, because even though your English is...

Undergraduateduy - Dec 18, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008
Common App essay---achievement on multiculture club

3 - Commas: Serious topics, like atomic physics or medieval art styles, were usually... Also: They laughed at our...

Undergraduatevanessa13 - Dec 19, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008
"the tendency to assume leadership" - NYU supplement

3 - For the first one, check out this for inspiration: webtools.delmarlearning.com/sample_chapters/076682536 1_ch01.pdf For this part, I took out the...

Undergraduatenemrac - Dec 19, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008
Getting brain dead on the Champaign essays

3 - Try starting like this: I have always been a passionate drawer and painter. or: I have...

Undergraduateadelewu - Dec 17, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008
an intellectually stimulating environment - Chicago Essays

4 - Yes, they do indeed hold my interest! That is hard to do with this sort of writing. This...

Undergraduatechickpig - Dec 19, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008
UIUC essay - "the best clarinetist"

3 - How about using two different paragraphs? That would make it like two little essays. The second paragraph can start...

Undergraduateballenas - Dec 19, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008
UIUC essay#1 (Information Technology)

3 - Thanks a lot for your suggestion. I really appreciate it!...

UndergraduateKobe24 - Dec 20, 2008Kobe24 - Dec 20, 2008
Illinois Urbana Champaign Essay ("Blessed are the Peace makers")

3 - 'and ' should not be used at the start of a sentence.(second sentence). Between 'peace maker' and 'being kind....',...

Undergraduatemustaa - Dec 20, 2008Kikozang - Dec 20, 2008
Duality of good and evil essay

5 - You might find it helpful to read other works that present philosophies of good and evil The Virtue of...

Writing Feedbackkyudaime - Dec 16, 2008EF_Sean - Dec 20, 2008
"I have less than superb stats" - my common app essay, need advice!

5 - Thank you! I was worried that it would be a bit difficult to follow. Back to the editing board...

Undergraduateilcmc - Dec 17, 2008ilcmc - Dec 20, 2008
Absent parents / Taekwondo - I cant decide which essay to use for my common app essay...

10 - Well, from a fellow peer's perspective, I think the first one is a lot more revealing to your character,...

Undergraduatesrirams - Dec 6, 2008ilcmc - Dec 20, 2008
5 aspects ("life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests")

2 - i think the essay definetly answers the prompt and its very well written the only suggestion i have is...

Undergraduatekids_jessy - Dec 18, 2008mihirmj - Dec 20, 2008
"Now you even brag in English" - ComApp short answer on Activity

7 - its a good start i think your essay answers the prompt really good but im also pretty sure that...

UndergraduateAmyRemus - Dec 18, 2008mihirmj - Dec 19, 2008
"Why Rice?" Essay

5 - Thanks for the feedback :) I've changed a few things up except the word count has now gone up...

Undergraduatepriscileung - Dec 19, 2008priscileung - Dec 19, 2008
"an English major" - Bowdoin Supplemental Essay

4 - As a perspective Bowdoin student it should be prospective :)...

Undergraduatejessmel - Dec 14, 2008iddqd - Dec 19, 2008
Song choice on a talent show; a roommate who needs to know you; NYU and Stanford supplemental essays

8 - Thanks, I actually thought it was kind of off-topic, but now is too late, I already submit the form....

UndergraduateAngela629 - Dec 5, 2008Angela629 - Dec 19, 2008
GMU essay, freshman applicant

8 - I could easily find an answer to the question. Fix: I was finally able to find an answer....

Undergraduatenopig1500 - Dec 16, 2008jusanglee - Dec 19, 2008
PhD statement of purpose (to be a professor of economics)

3 - Hi Kevin, thanks for the suggestions! I have been improving my writing a lot recently. And although I...

Graduatechangua - Dec 17, 2008changua - Dec 19, 2008
'workload and competitiveness' - My intellectual interest- Cornell University

3 - Hello Kevin! I've been in U.S for few years now, so i'm not in ESL but I am still...

Undergraduatekim101790 - Dec 18, 2008kim101790 - Dec 19, 2008
"The world is changing" - this is my senior research paper

2 - The world is changing; there is no denying that. Political issues like abortion and gay rights have been...

Research Papersrock07081 - Dec 19, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 19, 2008
Stanford Supplement Short Essay, Johns Hopkins essay

4 - I wrote everyday, but did not realize what an amazing world there was behind what I was writing until...

Undergraduategracetm - Dec 18, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 19, 2008
Additional Info - explaining extenuating circumstances

4 - Yes, it is great to explain those mid term marks here. And as Sean said, it is good to...

Undergraduatepriscileung - Dec 17, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 19, 2008
'Middle School Cross Country / Sisters bed / 2-D art' - 3 essays

6 - Oh!! Great idea! But cut it off the beginning and put it at the end!! I don't have...

Undergraduatemcwingo29 - Dec 16, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 19, 2008
visiting the MINDs school - Common app short question

5 - Maybe you could write: "I am pleased to have had the opportunity..." However, it's not good to say...

Undergraduatehalidir - Dec 18, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 19, 2008
"a small city named Homes" essay, need suggestions

2 - Growing up in Homes, [where is Homes? name of state/country], I finished high school and was forced to ...

Undergraduatekamilnezha - Dec 18, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 19, 2008
Michigan Ann Arbor "issue of local concern"

10 - Now the load shedding's increased to 10 hours a day . I have even worse condition than yours. I...

Undergraduatemustaa - Dec 16, 2008incognito_leo - Dec 19, 2008
My life growing up in Africa admission interest essay

5 - Thank you so much for your help! I will absolutely fix the minor problems!...

Undergraduatemspivey2 - Nov 16, 2008mspivey2 - Dec 19, 2008
Carleton "Why are u interested in Carleton and how did it develop "essay

3 - Thank you so much, Kevin! Your words have greatly encouraged me!...

UndergraduateEcho - Dec 18, 2008Echo - Dec 18, 2008
"the friendship and camaraderie" - Common Apps essay

3 - Thanks so much for your help Kevin, yes I thought that the middle paragraphs were a little short and...

Undergraduatenemrac - Dec 18, 2008nemrac - Dec 18, 2008
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