So like the title of the thread states - I haven't written an essay in years. Even when I was writing essays I sucked at it (more than I do now) I'm still awful with punctuation. I have a really hard time with semi colons and colons, every time I use them I feel like I've done it wrong, sometimes I'll rewrite the sentence just so I don't have to use it. However I'm going to need to learn to do this anyway so I might as well learn before it affects my university marks.
Right now I'm not concerned with the actual content of the essay, especially since the topic is absolutely ridiculous. I was asked to relate myself to a character that is nothing like me, so I had to make up incidents that never happened. I just want to fix my punctuation. If anyone could point out the places I went wrong I'd really appreciate it.
If it's so bad that you'd basically have to rewrite my essay, please just help me with a few things
*note their is indents in each paragraph, they just aren't visible on this website*
Identity: The collective aspect of the set of characteristics by which a thing is definitively recognizable or known. Identity is a complex idea; one's identity is composed from the memories, incidents, and experiences we go through. The author of the Cat's Eye attempts to illustrate the importance of childhood and how it may influence our entire lives. While there are other variables that play a role in the development of our identity, such as genetics; the way in which we are raised ultimately has a larger impact in our lives. In the following essay I will compare the development of the main character's identity of the Cat's Eye: Elaine Risley, to my own development. By comparing the two of us I will show how despite the physical differences between the individual, the experiences we have, and the way in which we are raised ultimately has the largest impact on our identity.
In the beginning of the novel we are introduced to the main character, who is now a fifty year old artist who is originally from Toronto. Elaine returns to her hometown from a retrospective of her art, and upon her return she is overwhelmed by childhood memories she has repressed. The memories she witnesses demonstrate to the readers how the Elaine portrayed in the present is not who she was years ago, and the memories she's repressed are part of the reason why. During her childhood, Elaine changes from being a timid girl unable to fight back, to eventually being brave enough to scare the leader of the group of girls who tormented her, a girl named Cordelia. This change occurs when she is ordered to enter a ravine during winter time, Elaine being of a submissive nature obeys Cordelia's order and nearly freezes. As a result Elaine ends bonds with the girls and frees herself from their grasp. Going into high-school, Elaine is no longer weak, instead she is strong willed and sharp. These are one of the many experiences that shaped Elaine into the person she has become.
There are many aspects of Elaine's upbringing that people can relate to. For myself one of those aspects was the way in which we were tormented as children, and the effect it would have on us in the future. During my early elementary school days I moved around a lot, as a result it was hard for me to hold a group of friends, and I was willing to do anything to be a part of a group. I would act like a dumb clown to entertain the other children, and eventually a group accepted me. They weren't the most terrible group of people, but they realized that I would do anything to be accepted, and the authority they had over me because of that. Eventually they would order me to do things that got me in trouble, and as a spent most of my time in the school's office, or detention, I came to a realization. While I was not tormented in the way that Elaine was, in the end I believe we reached the same realization. That realization was that the acceptance of our peers was not worth the pain we would have to endure to attain it. These are one of the many experiences that shape me into the person I am.
As the novel progresses the reader discovers that the present Elaine is different from that of her child self. As a child, Elaine looked forward to growing older her entire life, but she changes when she finally gets older she does nothing but sift through her childhood memories in search of something she may have overlooked. She was able to escape her past when she moved away from Toronto, where most of her awful memories took place, however when she has to travel back to Toronto for a retrospective of her art, she is constantly harassed by her child hood memories.
The way in which Elaine looked forward to getting older is another way in which the two of us can relate to each other. Like most children I adored the life of an adult, there seemed to be so many more opportunities for older people than younger people. However as I aged the years became less enjoyable and I looked less forward to growing older. Now at age twenty I already look at my past with regret, searching for alternate paths that I could have taken, and decisions that could have been made more wisely. Ultimately I believe that it was due to the poor childhood that Elaine and I experienced that made us unhappy with our past. The experiences of unhappiness is what causes us to constantly look at our past with regret and confusion, in search of a way in which we could change the course of our lives.
Due to her father's profession as an entomologist, Elaine grew up a nomad, living in tents. When her father becomes a university professor Elaine and her family finally move into an actual house. She spends a large portion of her time with her brother, and eventually becomes more comfortable around males. As a result of this lifestyle she realizes she is different from other girls. This becomes more evident when she begins to attend her new school and feels like an outcast due to Cordelia's bullying. Eventually Elaine changes and no longer feels like an outcast, and she eventually becomes a respected artist. Although she is still haunted by her childhood memories, she finally accepts them, and it is Cordelia who is now the outcast as she is in a mental institution.
As I stated a few paragraphs above, I myself moved around a lot as a child like Elaine did. In this situation you're suddenly placed into a classroom filled with students who know one another, while you're nothing but a complete stranger. When this happens numerous times you can't help but feel as if you were out of place. For me this changed when my mother met my step-father and we were able to settle. I was finally able establish a place in which I felt where I belonged. Despite the fact that I was settled, the memories of being an outcast would negatively influence my behavior, just as it did with Elaine's behavior.
Our memories shape who we are and may ultimately change us from who we once were. As a child Elaine was very optimistic, she was adventurous, curious, and open-minded. All of that changes when Elaine meets Cordelia, she becomes shy, and unable to defend herself. The damage done by Cordelia carries on to Elaine's adult life where she becomes emotionless, cold, and detached from the world. The incidents that Elaine experience, negatively change her personality forever.
Another aspect of Elaine that I am able to relate to is her change in personality. My mother often comments on how pessimistic I am, and how optimistic I used to be as a child. I do remember a time in which I was naive and kind enough to trust people. Until I was taken advantage of and betrayed by my peers. As a result of our traumas, our identities adapted to our environments and we became less susceptible .We put a mask on in the form of being cold and emotionless, however at some point that mask faded away, and became one with us, forming a part of our identities.
In conclusion, it is impossible for a person to maintain their identity in an ever-changing world. Our identities are formed as a result of the environment we are raised in and the incidents and experiences we go through. Our identities adapt to our environments to protect ourselves from the outside world. This is evident when both Elaine and I adapt to the tormenting of our peers and when our personalities adapt to the world around us. However, this isn't a topic that just affects us, this affects everyone person in the world. Every person's identity is constantly being shaped by their environment, some people are more susceptible to certain traumas while others are resilient.
