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Elisa is a short story. It talks about a little girl. Describing a book.


Fatima Atif 1 / -  
Jun 16, 2015   #1
Elisa is a short story. It talks about a little girl. The story names after her. She is from outside, but she is different. She loves reading a lot. Even if she is 5 years old, she is persisted on entering school. She is a pretty, calm girl.

What makes her special is her love of reading and learning. She is an innocent girl. Her innocence makes her obey whatever her parents want. She is from a poor family. Her parents lose the hope of living a respectful life and preparing a good one for their daughter. Britain is full of racialism. The poor were slaves and nothing for aristocracy.

Because of their poverty, Elisa's father is obliged to sacrifice. He sends her to city to work. She is a 5 years old girl; a child who needs care, love and support especially from parents. She works as a maid in a house for 12 hours a day. The woman is bitten her. One day, Elisa is sick. Instead of taking her to hospital, she pays her to a shopkeeper. She suffers from the heaviest hour of work and the bad difficulties of life; food, clothes and bed. She feels as a slave, thing and machine that created just for work and accept her terrible destine.

Fortunately, when Elisa is reading a story that she has, the shopkeeper asked her if she knows how to read and write.
The quote that said "Study can help a day" exists with Elisa. She is employed in reception; she was dealing directly with client. She was energetic and active all the time, because she does something she likes. After more few weeks, a rich lady visits the shop and buys an expensive dress; However, she forget her pursue and Elisa follows her outside the shop.

When she comes back, the shopkeeper insults her because she is not allowed to back out of the shop.
As an expression of thankfulness, the rich lady wanted to compensate Elisa. She sees the embarrassing position of Elisa when she is insulted by the shopkeeper. So, she decides to adopt her and make her dream of being educated true.

What has strongly affected me and I take as a value in my life is patience. Staying the same person even if they are difficulties is a great key to show other that values can reliable against evil and all forms of corruption.

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Jun 16, 2015   #2
This was a very interesting story. You have included many important details. Yet, when I read it, I was unsure about the ending. Were you supposed to give a summary and then discuss how you feel about the story? Also, if you discuss Britain and aristocracy, you should probably do this in the beginning of your book report. You could discuss how the story's setting is during a period of time in the history of Britain when slavery existed.

There is a detail that is confusing. When you mention that a woman was bitten, there is no more information provided. Was this Elisa? Also, the reader can become confused because Elisa's profession as a maid is described and then the report discusses her job in the shop. How old was Elisa? Was this some time after she became a maid?

I think if you make these changes, it will make your report better.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jun 17, 2015   #3
- The story isnamesnamed after her.

- She is from outside, but she is different.( what do you mean by she is from "outside" ) She loves reading a lot.

- Even if she is 5 years old, she is persisted on enteringpersistent in going to school.

- She is a 5 yearsyear old girl; a child who needs care, love and support especially from parents.

- The woman is bitten( "bitten" is from the word "bite") beats her.

- She sufferssuffered from the heaviest hourheavy hours of work and the bad difficulties of life; food, clothes and bed.

- She feels aslike a slave, thing and machine that created just for work and accept her terrible destinedestiny .

- However, she forget her pursuepurse and Elisa follows her outside the shop.

- So, she decides to adopt her and make her dream of being educatedof education come true.

- Staying the same person even if theythere are difficulties is a great key to show otherothers that values canis a reliable shield against evil and all forms of corruption.

Fatima, this is indeed a good story to tell. It's well written, GOOD JOB!!!
The corrections I made, hopefully, will increase the understanding of people towards your story.

Proof read this and yu should be good to go

Keep writing

Cheers!!!
PattytheWitch 1 / 1  
Jun 17, 2015   #4
Inspiring story. Mix up your sentence structure a bit to make it more engaging rather than beginning sentences with 'she' you could restructure them so that rather than descriptive it becomes engaging and inspiring like the story itself.

Also, whose the author? I would love to read the story. Good work.


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