Okaaaay, well I know it lacks a bit of, what was that again? uhm. . . context. ahahah. so, i'm not really sure if some readers will get it unless they know the whole story (about the Ateneo - La Salle rivalry thing). Oh, well. This is for my English homework.
And oh yeah, I have no idea why I chose this topic. hahaha. XD
Through the years, a lot of people have witnessed the epic rivalry between the top universities in the country. Perhaps among all these, the most popular would be the one between the Ateneo and La Salle. The fight between the Blue Eagles and the Green Archers has ranged from stereotyping, to the so-called 'university jokes', to comparisons and nasty remarks widely seen on the internet. The rivalry is quite intense especially during the UAAP season, wherein the people's spirits tend to become so high with the hopes of their school winning the championship. Having a competition is not that all bad. It could be one way of motivating the students to push through their abilities. It shouldn't be seen as a way of proving our superiority to the other school. School rivalry should be a motivational thing; it's all about inspiring others into bringing out the best in them, not just insulting other schools and pointing out their mistakes.
Having a competition is one way of motivating others not just during the UAAP season, but in other aspects, as well. One important aspect that this might have an effect on is the academics. Because of the intense rivalry between the two, it's no surprise that these two groups plan on ruling not just on the courts, but in academics, as well. La Salle have been known as specializing in business-related courses, in the arts (St. Benilde), technological fields and such; while Ateneo has been known for courses related to law, political science and management, among others. It is important that we shouldn't see our competition as an adversary or an as obstacle in achieving our goals. Rather, we must see this as an opportunity to strengthen ourselves on our way to finishing college, and also to show that we are more than just what other people say about us. This is probably one of the reasons why the Ateneo, along with La Salle, has proven to be one of the premiere universities in the country.
It's also about inspiring others into trying their hardest to be the best they can be. Our rivals aren't just our competitions. If we look at the rivalry in a different perspective, the La Sallians could also be our inspirations. When students from both sides strive on surpassing the other school and being the 'best', it could also be a way for them to improve on their skills, and thus, will help them in their studies and definitely in their future career. They say that competitions drive the best out of people. Though we do not necessarily have to be such, striving to be one will help us in pursuing our own goals and in adapting to the different problems we'll encounter in college, or later on in life. It's not so hard for us Ateneans to see La Sallians us such. We just have to be open to criticisms and we must accept that there are also some things that they could do and we could not. Of course, we specialize on other things, as well.
Another thing is that it's not just all about bashing other schools and insulting them. I've seen so many of it even before I entered Ateneo. Because I wasn't originally from here and I've never really been around them much, I've read most of it on the internet or maybe seen on TV. I don't think I've met a hardcore Atenean or La Sallian before (or someone as proud as that) or even heard these nasty remarks first-hand, but even from the point of view of an outsider, the rivalry is already that intense and evident. I've read about all the comparisons people make about them in web forums, about all the stereotyping, about how much Ateneo is better than La Salle or the other way around, about how money rules in this school or that, and so many other stuffs which some I've already proven wrong. (Though I'm not really that happy with it, it was a fun read, I admit). Because of the things I've already proven correct and wrong, I learned that calling people names or giving out wrong impressions about them does not make us any better than anyone. Doing this destroys one of the essences of school rivalry; that we inspire others and motivate them in doing their best.
For me, the Ateneo - La Salle rivalry isn't entirely pointless anymore. The only pointless thing about it is its way of destroying us and making us the lowly people that we shouldn't be. If you really are better than the other, don't act like the uneducated one and boast off your greatness. We keep our feet on the ground and we do not act like show-offs. That is how a true Atenean should be.
Wow ... your English is absolutely beautiful! You should definitely try to write more! :3
Through the years, ... -- This is just a preference thing, I suppose, but I would use throughout, not through.
.. wherein(= in what/in which - makes no sense here)whenthe people's spirits tend to become so high with the hopes of their school winning the championship that ... . -- I feel like that "so" is hinting at an upcoming final clause (e.g.: People's spirits get so high that the tension between the rivals amplifies.)
It's also about inspiring others into trying -- I might be wrong here, but I would usually use: inspiring others to try .
Our rivalsrivalries aren't just our competitions.
If you really are better than the others , don't act like the uneducated one(/don't act uneducated; don't be the uneducated one) and boast off your greatness.
If you'd ask me, such rivalries are actually a distraction from what we should actually focus on; trying to compete with ourselves. [We exclude, of course, sports, because in that case competition is inevitable.] I know you might think it is basically the same thing and, yes, it is basically the same thing. But there is still a slight difference there. By competing with yourself you will discover yourself [this sounds really awful] and in the process you might actually get to help others. Why adopt a negative attitude when you can have a much more productive way of learning?
Rivalry is based upon spite and ire, upon cockiness and envy. And, as H. Coffin once said, "Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own."
But that is just my take on this matter. Congrats on a very good essay! :D
Glad to have you at EF, paranoiaagent! I think you should cite a few research studies, books, or articles in this essay. That will give it some real power in its punch.
Capitalize Internet.
Instead of between, how about among? :-)
I might be wrong here, but I would usually use: inspiring others to try.
Agreed. "inspire to try..."
inspiring into... sounds awkward.
School rivalry should be a motivational thing; it's all about inspiring others into bringing out the best in them, not just insulting other schools and pointing out their mistakes.
This is the last sentence of the first paragraph, so it is supposed to be the most meaningful sentence of the essay. However, maybe this is a little too obvious. Google this: arguable thesis
You can make your main idea a little more "arguable." :-)
Our
rivals rivalries aren't just our competitions.
Another thing is that it's not just all about bashing other schools and insulting them. ---I don't think this is another thing. I think it is the same as the main idea of the essay. Also, you can usually find a noun that is more descriptive than "thing," and it will make the essay wicked cool by adding specificity. :-)
I've seen so
many much of it even before...
:-)
