I am a terrible writer and Im seeking for help!
This is what I have so far and I feel that it is quite short for one paragraph personal response essay that was assigned. When writing personal response essay, how do I end the essay and what else can I add more to my essay?
Without a doubt, half of the story Identities by W.D Valgardson contains contrast. As I read through the first four paragraphs, I envisaged the setting that Valgardson had intended to illustrate by using contrast. Valgardson illustrates the wealthy part of the city and the poor side with such sentences. "no ragged edges, no unkempt vacant lots... and quickly, a certain untidiness creeps in: a fragment of glass, a chocolate bar wrapper..." (pg 4). As soon as I finished reading Identities, I was taken aback by the action of the police officer who shot an innocent man judging by his typical criminal appearance. The word 'lost' goes well with the protagonist as he wonders around from his shelter to experience a new world. "He does not hurry, for he has no destination. He meanders..." (pg 4). Throughout the story, I thought that the protagonist does not belong anywhere as he was unable to adapt to the new world that he was hoping to experience.
Thank you
There's hardly anything personal about your response. Try reflecting a little more.
As I read through the first four paragraphs, I envisaged the setting that Valgardson had intended to illustrate by using contrast. Valgardson illustrates the wealthy part of the city and the poor side with (insert adjective here) descriptions. For example, he writes, "no ragged edges..."
Throughout the story, I thought that the protagonist does not belong anywhere as he remained unable to adapt... ---> I added remained to make it a little more detailed.
I agree with Mustafa; you should dig deep and tell about your personal experience a little more. Add an intro para above and a conclusion below, and use the same main idea in each.
:-)
Here's a few things I think don't really fit.
Without a doubt, half of,the story Identities by W.D Valgardson, contains contrast. As I read through the first four paragraphs, I envisaged the setting that Valgardson had intended to illustrate by using contrast. Valgardson illustrates the wealthy part of the city and the poor side with such sentences. "no ragged edges, no unkempt vacant lots... and quickly, a certain untidiness creeps in: a fragment of glass, a chocolate bar wrapper..." (pg 4). As soon as I finished reading Identities, I was taken aback by the action of the police officer who shot an innocent man judging by his typical criminal appearance. that, judging by his appearance, seemed (or looked) like a criminal to him. The word 'lost' goes well with the protagonist as he wonders around from his shelter, to experience a new world. "He does not hurry, for he has no destination. He meanders..." (pg 4). Throughout the story, I thought that the protagonist does did not belong anywhere, as he was unable to adapt to the new world that he was hoping to experience.
You could add more about how you feel about it, make references to real life situations, etc.
