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Intro of Jem Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird


chloeeek 1 / 1  
Jan 2, 2010   #1
In the novel, "To Kill a Mockingbird," written by Harper Lee, Jem (Jeremy) Atticus Finch is one of the important characters. Jem is the son of Atticus Finch and the eldest brother of Scout by four years. The book starts off with Jem as a nine years old boy entering puberty while going through a traumatic and complex life. Jem used to be a consistent playmate to Scout. However, Jem tries to ignore Scout and plays with their new friend, Dill by leaving Scout alone with Miss Maudie to care. Moreover, Jem even teases Scout for being acting like a girl more and more everyday. Jem moves into adolescence and becomes Scout's accompany by protecting her after all at the end of storyline. While Jem grows in his childhood, he becomes more mature and idolizes his father. Jem is an educated young adult who can identify right or wrong. For instance, Dill sneaks up to Scout's bedroom from escaping his home. Meanwhile, Jem immediately tells Dill that his parents ought to know where he is. Hence, Jem is an idealistic boy going through a whole new stage of life.

Please edit my paragraph and I will really appreciate it. Thanks!
- Chloe (:
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Jan 2, 2010   #2
In the novel, "To Kill a Mockingbird," written by Harper Lee, Jem (Jeremy) Atticus Finch is one of the most important characters.

Jem is the son of Atticus Finch and the eldest brother of Scout,by four years.

The book starts off with Jem as a nine year
old boy...

Moreover, Jem even teases Scout for being acting like a girl more and more every day .

Jem moves into adolescence and becomes Scout's protector by the end of storyline .

While Jem grows in hisout of childhood, he becomes more mature and idolizes his father.

For instance, Dill sneaks up to Scout's bedroom from escaping. ..

Was he running away from home? (I have not read it.)
OP chloeeek 1 / 1  
Jan 3, 2010   #3
thanks! any comments?
are these all grammatical error?
Envie 4 / 60  
Jan 10, 2010   #4
In the novel,In Harper Lee's"To Kill a Mockingbird,"written by Harper Lee, Jem (Jeremy) Atticus Finch is one of thean important characters .

... Jem even teases Scout for being acting like a girl more and more everyday . However, as Jem moves into adolescence and, he begins tobecomes Scout's accompany by protecting her after all at the end of storylineprotect Scout . While Jem grows in his childhood, he becomes more mature and idolizes his fatherAs Jem matures, he idolizes his father, Atticus .

I find the intro paragraph very weak. You shouldn't summarize in your introductory paragraph; this paragraph is meant to grab the readers' attention as well as indicate what your thesis is (basically what your essay is about). The reader doesn't need you to plot summarize (from Jem's point of view, I guess). Trim it down and start over.


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