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This novel has received two of eight total awards won by the critically acclaimed "Divergent"

Dev4444 1 / 4  
Feb 15, 2015   #1
Write an essay persuading someone to read a book/author/series. Must be 5 paragraphs.

1st paragraph must include a hook and thesis (Thesis must include your main idea, along with three claims that support this idea)
Body paragraphs must elaborate the claims stated in your thesis (One paragraph per claim)
5th paragraph must include a restate of the thesis, and a concluding sentence (Preferably with a call to action)

I am not done with my essay yet, but I will post pieces of it until I am finished:
OP Dev4444 1 / 4  
Feb 15, 2015   #2
I have completed more of my essay, but I haven't finished the first paragraph. The parts written in blue are what I need help on, but I am open for any other suggestions also.

This novel has received two of eight total awards won by the critically acclaimed "Divergent" series, which has already sold more than 30 million copies, and is currently being adapted to film. This novel... This novel is Veronica Roth's Insurgent, a compelling story that everyone should read because it has the components of multiple genres, it is filled with vivid imagery, and it includes a variety of fascinating characters.

First, Insurgent...

In addition, the novel includes detailed imagery and descriptions of action, which makes the story easier to understand for the reader. For example, on page 249 of the book, the main character, Beatrice, is on a mission with a few of her friends and acquaintances that will take place on a bridge. She describes this by saying to the reader, "It is still dark, but just barely, when we reach the bridge, which is two-tiered, with stone pillars at each corner. We descend the stairs next to one of the stone pillars and creep with silent feet at river level. Large puddles of standing water gleam as the light of day hits them. The sun is rising; we have to get into position" This allows the reader to imagine the characters' environment and actions, making it much easier to follow the story and understand what is happening during each "scene". Roth includes descriptions similar to this frequently throughout the book; almost every page has at least one detailed paragraph explaining action or setting. This ensures that the reader is not confused about anything while reading, making this book even more exciting and enjoyable.

Lastly, the novel includes many different characters that are all unique and easy to relate to. Take Beatrice, for example. She is impulsive, hates showing weakness, she judges herself, and she constantly blames herself for things that aren't necessarily in her power. She is also 16 years old, and is trying to figure out what love really is. All of Beatrice's characteristics are common, making her extremely relatable. There are other characters, such as Tobias, a secondary character, who can be related to because of something they feel nobody else understands. Tobias's father beat him when he was a child, and his mother left, leaving him alone with his abusive father. Later, he is reunited with both parents, and chooses to forgive only his mother. Beatrice does not understand this, and criticizes Tobias. She says, "I don't trust her. I think she's trying to use you." He then ends their conversation with, "Don't talk about my mother that way." Tobias is dealing with a situation that can't be understood without experience. Readers that have dealt with something similar to this can relate to him. When the reader feels that they have a connection with a character in a book, it makes it all the more interesting.

In conclusion, Veronica Roth's Insurgent includes many different genres, very detailed descriptions of action and setting, and a plethora of unique personalities that anyone can relate to, therefore making it a good read for anyone. ...

As for that last blue part, I need a way to end the essay. I'm thinking that a good call to action would obviously be to tell the reader to read the book, but I feel like I need more than just that.
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Feb 15, 2015   #3
I don't think repeating "this novel" is what your teacher meant about "repetition for effect" - everybody knows it is a novel, why do you need to stress that?

I think your intro is missing the "hook" - this needs to be something interesting that will draw in your reader. You can mention something about the plot of the book, like "Imagine living in a society where your entire life is predestined, based on a test you take when you are 12 years old" (or whatever the book is about - I never read it. Or you can say something interesting about literary awards, or you can tie the success of divergent to the rise of post-apocalyptic young adult fiction that began with the Hunger games. You just need something that will intrigue the reader and make her want to read more to learn about this topic.

Also, if you can come up with a good hook for the intro, you can return to that hook in the conclusion. For intros and conclusions, a good idea is to start out rather general in you intro, and then gradually focus down to the thesis. Then you do the reverse in the conclusion.
OP Dev4444 1 / 4  
Feb 17, 2015   #4
You obviously don't understand what reppetition for effect is. I'm not trying to stress that it is a novel. In this case, the main purpose for the repetition is to say different things about the same book without using and, also, additionally, etc. It also adds a sort of rhythm. And the hook is the awards I mentioned. That's why I don't mention what book it is until the end of the paragraph. I'm trying to hook people in and then get them to continue reading until the end of the paragraph to find out what book it is. Also, I highlighted the end of the essay blue because I know I need to end the story but I don't know how to tie in the awards I mentioned in the beginning.

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