Hi,
So I was assigned an argumentative essay for my AP English class that I'm having a little trouble with. Normally, I can do these essays in my sleep, but this one is giving me a little trouble. I was wondering if someone could look over my first paragraph and see if i established my claim/position clearly and "showed the complexity" in the claim?
here's the essay prompt:
"Write an argumentative essay in which you take a position on whether fate or 'free will' brought about the tragedy of Oedipus' life. In your answer be sure to develop and support your position by drawing from the text and 2 other sources."
I chose to argue free will, because the sources support it, and because I agree with it myself.
So, here's my first paragraph:
Oedipus the King is a story about a prominent king torn by "fate" and the effect his own actions have upon his destiny. We can learn much from the catastrophic story of Oedipus, who was prophesied to kill his father, and to marry and have children with his own mother. As soon as Oedipus learned of this prophecy, he tries desperately to escape it, by running from his hometown, and even avoiding his supposed parents. Although he may not realize it, Oedipus' own actions contribute to his downfall; it is his arrogant short temper and his excessive pride that causes him to make the decisions that set into action the course of events that not only lead him to his own doom, but to the fate he was trying so desperately to escape. Despite the fact that fate may have played some role in Oedipus' demise, it was brought about by his own free will and his actions, which were incredibly rash and reckless. We can see consistently throughout the story that it is ironically his own actions and errors in judgment that bring him closer to his tragic fate.
What do you guys think? Anything I need to fix, add, delete?
Thank you.
You hit the nail on the head by mentioning the irony of the situation, that shows the complexity of the story. However, I personally feel like your last sentences sound repetitive. In order to solve this I would write :
"Although he may not realize it, Oedipus' own actions contribute to his downfall; it is his arrogant short temper and his excessive pride that causes him to make the decisions that set into action the course of events that not only lead him to his own doom, but ironically to the fate he was trying so desperately to escape. Despite the fact that fate may have played some role in Oedipus' demise, it was brought about by his own free will and his reckless actions."
And remove the last sentence.
