This is my final project for my English class, and the teacher asked us to have someone to evaluate it and complete the following.
PEER EVALUATOR must answer the following questions and use specific examples from the writer's paper. Use the reverse side of the sheet if needed. Use elements in the criteria list if options are needed.
1. Check the following punctuation for mastery:
a) comma
b) semi-colon
c) colon
d) full stop
2. Note whether the title is reflective of the thesis statement/content.
3. Note three strengths of the essay with examples.
4. Note one area of improvement. How might the writer improve this area?
5. Did you enjoy reading this essay? If yes, why? If no, why? (2)
I would really appreciate your help.
Thank you
Tom Buchanan: The Perfect Villain
A villain is a person who takes advantage of weaker people, and is the one that disapprove and withstand the hero. In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald's 1926 novel, Tom Buchanan, the "brute" as his wife calls him, is the perfect villain. He is singularly snobbish, physically abusive, and extremely wealthy. Buchanan is submerged in the elite of society, and he is the worst representation of this class. "He is a cruel, hard man and the living personification of the shallowness and carelessness of the very rich." (Character analysis 4). He was born in a gold cradle and never needed to make a single effort. This kind of people is on top of society and exclusively care about their own principles and way of life. They are careless, they are indifferent, they are bullies. Tom Buchanan is worthy of being called the perfect villain.
Tom Buchanan's snobbism clearly defines the prospect of villain. He conceives himself as a social superior and treats people with disdain, following the example of the 1850's socialite Caroline Astor, who created the "400", a list that classified America`s finest citizens (Astor's 4). Buchanan as Mrs. Astor, classified people, and he make it clearer when he states his posture about races: "I've gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things... the idea is if we don't look out, the white race will be... will be submerged... It's up to us, who are the dominant race to watch out or these other races will have control over things." (Fitzgerald 18). With his snobbism, Buchanan opposes Jay Gatsby, the new rich that is balancing the base of Buchanan's narcissism with his idea of making real a platonic love. Buchanan makes Gatsby a victim of his codified and extreme snobbery.
Buchanan's singularly snobbish personality is coupled by his physical abusive nature toward women. "Women... were a man's property, were not considered a person." (The Women's Rights 1) Myrtle Wilson, Buchanan's mistress, is one of the women that suffer of his outrage. It is clearly illustrated when Mrs. Wilson suffer of Buchanan's heavy hand, he brutally brakes her nose. As Jesus of Nazareth says: "The truth will set you free" (La Biblia, John 8:32), But ironically in Tom Buchanan's case it seems to give freedom to a hitter, a villain that is able to clout even defenceless women to keep the order that he have established. Buchanan's physical strength gives him control over defenceless beings. It is a primordial fact when defining a villain as Tom Buchanan is.
With this in mind, what is a villain without resources? Buchanan is extremely wealthy, and this is the perfect sphere for a villain. Buchanan's wealth comes from generations before him, and coming from a family of tradition in the socialite world, he enjoy of the contacts, privileges and economic solvency to act without any limitation. Being abundant of possibilities and with the money to buy even life, Buchanan has the control over the past, present and future of his own personal world. The money allows him to do what he wants to and enjoy impunity over his actions. The power that money grants to this villain makes him untouchable. Extreme wealth is the perfect touch to complete the most assertive profile for the perfect villain, there is no limitations or rules that can stop him. He is able to play with people as if they were his pawns, as he shows when playing with Mr. Wilson's hope of a better future with his wife.
"They smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness" (Fitzgerald 170). Tom Buchanan, the very rich "brute", pure shallow and certainly careless antagonist of Jay Gatsby perfectly represents what a socialite and fashionable evil means. He knows how to control his world and is able to do it deliberately. Buchanan's opposition to Gatsby, who is the representation of pure love, makes him a villain; but in essence, his remarkable snobbism, corporeal abuse, and excessive wealth make from Fitzgerald's character the perfect villain.
A villain is a person who takes advantage of weaker people, and the villain stands against the hero in a story. disapprove and withstand the hero.
Strengths:
excellent topic sentences! Some kids do not understand how to write good topic sentences, but you do!
Your thesis sentence:
They are careless, they are indifferent, and they are bullies. Tom Buchanan is worthy of being called the perfect villain. ---- this is clear as a thesis statement, and it is interesting, too.
Good MLA here:
"They smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness" (Fitzgerald 170). ---- correct, because the period comes after the parenthetical reference.
incorrect (parenthetical reference is after the period:
these other races will have control over things." (Fitzgerald 18).
correct:
control over things" (Fitzgerald 18).
Area for improvement: do not start the last paragraph (or any paragraph) with a "dropped quotation" (google that if necessary)
add a sentence before it:
XXX XXXXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXX X XXXXXXXX. "They smashed up things and creatures and then ...
"Did you enjoy it?"
I did not enjoy it because I am in a foul state of mind. We need to regulate our own minds in order to enjoy literature. If I was having a better day, I would have really enjoyed it. It s hard to come up with a good thesis sentence, but you did. It is interesting and arguable.
:-D
