dgolverk 1 / 1 Dec 11, 2006 #1Hello,I've been trying to write a thesis for my essay in the last hour, it's ready but yet seems to be too long...I would like to read your opinions and how should I change it.My essay is about the relations of French and English Canadians, I need to write about three topics in the 20th century.-During the 20th century the relations between the French and English Canadians were in tension, therefore it could lead to a separation of two large populations in Canada and create disorder in many aspects of the country. The change in Canadian Politics, Military, Culture and Economics also had an impact on their relations because there were many debates which were not agreed between the two sides.Events such as "The Conscription Crisis in 1917", "Meech Lake and Charlottetown accords" and "The night of the long knives" influenced the conflict and had enormous impact on the relations between them.The conscription crisis at the end of World War One almost divided Canada into two parts ï French and English Canadians as a result of strong disagreement between the sides. Few decades later, the night of the long knives has changed the point of view of the both sides on each other, whether it was in the political or the personal aspect.Less than 10 years later, Meech Lake and Charlottetown Accords influenced the political side of the relations by making constitutional amendments and trying to set more rights to make French and English relations better.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708 Dec 11, 2006 #2Greetings!Yes, I think you're right--that's too much information just for a thesis. You've gone from introducing your topic to explaining it in these paragraphs."During the 20th century the relations between the French and English Canadians were in tension, therefore it could lead to a separation of two large populations in Canada and create disorder in many aspects of the country. The change in Canadian Politics, Military, Culture and Economics also had an impact on their relations because there were many debates which were not agreed between the two sides."This is your thesis paragraph. Usually a thesis can be stated in one sentence (unless your instructor has given you other directions). Can you condense this down to one sentence? Maybe something along the lines of: "Debates between French and English Canadians over politics, the military, culture and economics led to increasing tension during the 20th century that threatened separation and disorder throughout the country."Then you use the body of your paper to elaborate, and conclude by summing up the problem and your arguments (and proposed solutions, if any). Sound good?Good luck!Sarah, EssayForum.com
