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(anticipated behavior) - a thesis Introduction. Is it coherent?

biettyarren 1 / -  
Feb 9, 2012   #1
An intention is important factor that anticipated behaviour (Fisbein, 2001) as entrepreneurship behaviour (kureguer et al 2000). This is a racional state (Bird, 1988) that informed though and direct persons entrepreneurial goals and behaviour (Hindle, K et al, 2009). Thus, we were interested in a way how individual knowledge generate inputs that influence entrepreneurial intention and is important in a entreprneurship behaviour field( Muller, 2006, Ucbasaran et al 2008). Hindle K. et al (2009) emphacize in a source relate to how entrepreneurial intention could be informed by combination of person's knowledge or information.

beccalevesque - / 45  
Feb 9, 2012   #2
Ok first. this has no coherence whatsoever. It seem like you want to integrate others ideas into your thesis, hence all the quotes, and that's great, but to write an essay, you need to have an opening paragragh that states your thesis. Then the next paragraphs support your thesis and this is a good place to use other's ideas to support your own, as long as you give them credit for their ideas. In your last paragraph you sum up your thesis with a conclusion.

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