Hi everyone!!! My name is John and I am new here :D
I have this essay given by my teacher Is technology making us less humans do you agree?
I do agree with this statement but I do not know which of the 3 main points should i say about?
I wish to link to pollution and human's greed or power but I feel that that is not answering to the question??
What should I do then?
I agree that technology does make us less human.
You could talk of Human obsession with perfection, and how we reach unimaginable extents to augment out looks in accordance to the what the world sees as beautiful or appealing. Probably you could find a few examples to make your argument convincing. Google! :)
Yes, you could relate human greed for a better standard of living. In this pursuit, people tend to overlook the at the negative aspects. They do not mind using ways that could harm the environment. Not everyone believes in being environmentally sound. You could probably infer and expand more on this.
Talk of the use of emails and sms' used as means of communition, instead of personal messages through cards or letters. Little too cliché but it makes a good argument.
Hope this gives you some points to put forth a solid essay. :)
Hi there ItsokaytoGaga!!!
OMG THANKS!!! THAT WAS REALLY HELPFUL!!!! :D
I have to admit this topic is really stressed out for me xD
I'm glad I was of any help. :)
I was wondering if my essay looks ok ... oo
Technology has indeed made us less human. I do agree with this statement. What is technology? Technology is the usage and knowledge of tools, techniques, crafts, systems or methods of organization in order to provide means of solution. We "interact" with technologies on a daily basis. Over the years, technologies have been invented to address society's problems or to fulfill its growing desire for speed and convenience. However some humans desire so much into technology that they disregard human lives and concerns with the environment. They will do anything so long as the technology works to their favor, even if sacrifice was needed. Such actions are really infuriating to the world because technology should be assisting the humans and not making humans into becoming cruel in getting the hands of latest technology.
Technology has changed the way of humans to become unlawful and uncivilised. In military technology, modern weapons are made available and to a lesser cost. Hence illegal trading takes to place to sell these weapons to different countries or even to terrorists' orgranisations. The advance in technology might encourage more uncivillised assaults, piracy, illegal activity or causing unrest to the world. For example, North Korea recently has been massively upgrading their military technology. According to official North Korean media, military expenditures for 2010 amount to 15.8% of the state budget. Their North Korea nuclear program has been constantly improving and many tests have been conducted over the years. Technology can be deadly and powerful if they are not wisely used. Hence the main problem is the proper use of this knowledge.
Technology has caused humans to become obsessed with perfection. We are all more obsessed with our appearance than we like to admit. Studies show attractive applicants have a better chance of getting jobs, and of receiving higher salaries in that taller men earned around $600 per inch more than shorter executives. The 'bias for beauty' operates in almost all social situations. These experiments show we react more favourably to physically attractive people. Breast lift surgery has been favored by many females in the society nowadays to enhance their look. They are willing to take risks even though they are aware of the side effects. For example, breast implants may impede breast cancer detection. During mammography, X-ray, or ultrasound the implants could hide suspicious tumors or lesions. Implants can also break or rupture, causing deflation.
Technology has created humans to have an immense interest for a better standard of living. In this pursuit, people tend to overlook at the negative aspects. They do not mind using ways that could harm the environment. The progress of the human race often comes with an immense cost. Progress basically results in pollution and exploitation of the earth which supports its inhabitants along with its limited resources. Moreover, our invention of new technologies actually has accelerated the contamination and exhaustion of the system. People's judgment over any novelty is often narrow-sighted and only focuses on the short-term profits it would bring, Instead of enumerating what effect pollution will have on our future life. The hazardous waste of nuclear power and plastic products are undegradeable. Technology has hence become pollution.
For the time being, new technologies such as transportation vehicles are still progressing but signify depletion of our oil reserves. Scientists assumed that oils on our planet will be all used up in fifty years, and it will take hundreds of thousands of years to wait for future organisms to degrade and reform into petrol. Although new technology can make our work earlier to some extent, when not comprehensively foreseen, the future of the human race will suffer in a famine of natural resources that are essential to life, and the severe instability of the ecosystem.
To conclude, although modern technology brings us some goods benefits, it also gives a lot of bad results. Many people live in horrible conditions and famine governments spend a lot of money on developing weapon industry. Is it the right way? Maybe the modern technology should either stop or prevent social disproportions. So, to make our world prosperous, we should use the modern technology in the good ways and find the effective solutions to the bad result.
I guess this essay is for school, correct?
Okay, I like the essay. :) It brings out most of the points that make your argument valid.
However, I have a few suggestions, if I may.
Instead of just starting your essay by saying "Technology has made us less human, I agree" sort of a statement, rephrase it in a way that would make it more interesting. :)
You could probably say something like.... I was watching Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator and my mind drifted into a world of its own. Will we become the same in the next 100 years? ...
You know such statement make the reader connect more with your essay. It's better than only blabbering information that everyone would probably not like to read. :) And it adds a personal touch too..
The second and third paragraph are perfect. :)
You could also add to the second para that technology has snatched away the innocence from children in many troubled Third World nations of Africa.. They are trained to handle guns and machines at a tender age. Is that how human rearing should be like?
*Just a suggestion... :)
The para where you talk of pollution, use more specific examples. Maybe the Chernobyl nuclear Disaster, or Coal production in China, where air pollution control equipment is neglected. :/
In your conclusion, I don't really like the opening statement. If you see, the benefits of technology are far more desirable and numerous compared to the many disadvantages. Rephrase it. :-)
Your conclusion is a bit weak. This where you should restate your stance. And what social disproportions? It's a bit vague.
Make your conclusion strong and interesting and I think your essay will be great!! :)
Other than that it's good. Just a little more work...
All the best!
Hey there!! Its really nice of you to reply again :D
I am really really grateful for your help :D
Thanks for commenting on my essay.
However, the first para you said about editing the first sentence and making it look personal, I dont think I could add in?? Since its a argumentative essay, things have to be formal and factual...
I made use of your suggestions in the pollution part and third world Africa statements... They were really helpful thanks!!! Really backs up the stand of my essay :D
As for my conclusion, I removed the social disproportions to prevent confusion and I dont find it relevant after glancing through!!! :D
I still feel that my conclusion is weak, (I hate conclusion-ing lol xD guess i will need help in that )
PS: My word limit is 300 to 500 max... I already cut down to 688 words... i didn't care though lol!!! But in the case of the teacher deducting marks is there any way to cut down the word length???
I think you should have a para explaining, how if technology used in correct manner will help us to be better human beings.
Example:- Connectivity, Green Revolution, Water Harvesting, Weather predictions, Better standard of living, organic study leading to development of organic fertilizers, nuclear electricity etc...