advantages / disadvantages essay
I everyone, this question was asked in one of my previous thread. This is my question in more detail.
I attempted to write an essay about the following topic from the book Cambridge IELTS 09:"Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?"
At first, I am not sure if this is an opinion essay or dis/advantage essay so I referred to the writing sample provided in the same book. It provides an essay that scored 6 and the evaluation of the examiner as in the attached image. I noted that the evaluation said: "This answer addresses all part of the task, though the disadvantages of fame are covered more fully than the advantages
." From that comment, I understood that this is an advantages/ disadvantages essay and I am supposed to fully cover both advantages and disadvantages and give my opinions.
In addition, since the prompt mentioned "problems" and "benefits" in plural form, I think I should give at least 2 advantages and 2 disadvantages.
The result is, however, I wrote an essay where my ideas are underdeveloped here: essayforum.com/writing/advantages-disadvantages-celebrity-86171/. My questions are:
- Did I analyse the topic wrongly? If not, what is the problem that leads to an underdeveloped essay in my case