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"Confessions of a Student"


winner 1 / 9  
Jan 7, 2009   #1
What should i write for the introduction and how do i continue?
zowzow 10 / 175  
Jan 7, 2009   #2
lol is that all the information you have about that question???
I mean i'd love to help but just with that one sentence its too vague

things like word limit? what uni? any extra clarifications to go with the question?
OP winner 1 / 9  
Jan 7, 2009   #3
sorry but i m afraid that's all the information about that question hope that you can help me with it
zowzow 10 / 175  
Jan 7, 2009   #4
well theres so many questions about the actual question

is this a joke question? or a serious one?
whos the audience?

sorry but i can't help without any sort of clarification
EF_Constance - / 143  
Jan 7, 2009   #5
Yes...we definitely need more information before we can help. What sort of essay is this? Entrance essay? Class essay? Article? What kind of confession are you writing about? Have you written anything else yet? If you have, post that. It may give us all a better idea of what you are wanting to say and talk about.

When I have problems with writing an introduction and conclusion, I write the body first; then, I go to the introduction and explain what I am going to "tell" the reader in the body and repeat for the conclusion.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 7, 2009   #6
Yeah, it would really help to know if the essay were meant seriously or humorously, and how long it is supposed to be. In any event, I'd suggest making a list of things you could confess, i.e. of everything you would normally want to keep secret (make sure you don't leave the list where other people might find it!) Then, eliminate all the items from the list that you simply are not prepared to write about for whoever your audience is. Then, pick the most interesting item left on the list (if you are writing seriously) or the least interesting (if you are writing humorously). Then write about it as well as you can and post whatever you come up with here for more detailed feedback.
OP winner 1 / 9  
Jan 8, 2009   #7
This essay is supposed to be a serious one and i think it should be at least 500 words.
I need to write about the don'ts that students should not do, namely, smoking, pilfering, and many others. I couldn't think of what should I confess, maybe, I could just make it up. This is a class essay which was given by my teacher and other than these, I think there is no other additional information.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 8, 2009   #8
It would be good to write about cause and effect. Your thesis statement could be an assertion that certain rules are intended to avoid folly, and that nonconformist tendencies among students can get them in trouble when they fail to embrace the rules created by those who learned "the hard way" during previous generations.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 8, 2009   #9
You can always make up something for this sort of essay. It seems odd, though, that you would prefer to confess to a wrong you haven't done rather than one you have, unless you have either never done anything wrong or have done only very serious wrongs! It is generally easier to write about things that have actually happened as opposed to those that you are inventing, though the latter can be easier to make interesting. In any event, the best way to start is by starting. Write down whatever comes to mind, and go into as much detail as you can. This will give you a very rough first draft that you can post for more feedback.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 11, 2009   #10
Okay, you have definitely started. Now, make it a lot longer. Specifically, you need to add a lot more detail. You can build suspense by vividly describing how you started to drink more and more (I'm pretty sure you probably didn't go straight from beer to whiskey. If you did, you should certainly have noticed something of a stronger effect, both in terms of the drinking and the hangover. If this is made up, then you should definitely make the slide into alcoholism seem more gradual.) Then, you really need to add more detail about how you ended up stopping drinking. People who are "deeply addicted" to alcohol don't just stop because they get a stern talking to from their parents. You need to describe your inner conflict as struggled against the drug ravaging your life, a moment of hitting bottom, an epiphany, etc. In other words, you need to add all of the elements that make a good story -- escalating difficulties, conflict, climax, resolution, denouement.
OP winner 1 / 9  
Jan 11, 2009   #11
How about this?

That beginning, was innocent in appearance, merely a bottle of my father's beer in order to calm myself before the big exam.

I remembered, my first drink, was an experiment introduced by a friend in a senior class. Drinking was meant as the last resort, you see. I was desperate to pass that exam, but hot that amber liquid metamorphasized into silk in my mouth, that seemed to relieve all the stress within me. And so, I continued drinking, one sip after another, and so on, in a rapid sequence.

The following day, my head was throbbing with an intense headache, and I couldn't see straight. During the test, I seemed to be unable to grasp hold of my concentration. My brain was totally blank, and nothing would come out of it. But nevertheless, I continued doing the test. Never did I expect my scholarly defeat when I received my test papers, I began to assuage my disappointment by indulging myself with my newfound pastime-drinking beer.

Upon reaching home, I headed straight to the wine cabinet, and took my father's bottle of whisky and went back to my room. For a couple of days, I tried to hide my addiction to alcohol from my parents. As my addiction worsened, one bottle of alcohol was needed to last me until the end of school each day. I covered the redness of my eyes with a mirrored sunglasses, in spite of the fact that I spend most of the day indoors.

It was the until my friends found out that I had been drinking alcohol and so did my parents. My father was very upset as I was addicted deeply to alcohol. Then, on a particular day, I was drinking beer, my friend spotted me and persuaded me not to drink anymore. Intoxicated, I gave my friend a punch and told him not to bother me. It was not long until my parents came and my father held me on the collar tightly. I remembered what he said to me, "Do you know what have you done? When can you come to your senses?"

Alcohol was all that was important. I believed this with my entire being until, foolishly, I went for a drive while I was still intoxicated. My car swerved through the streets until it came to a skidding halt at the feet of a girl no older than thirteen. She was profoundly frightened, shaking uncontrollably, but unhurt. After the police took their report, and my parents bailed me out for drink driving, I sat in my bedroom, tentatively dialing the number which I spoke with a counselor at least an hour, upon hanging up, i reached for my book of shakespeare, which i had neglected since the drinking began. Opening up to a page, I read these words: "O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! That we should with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause transform ourselves into beast!"
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 11, 2009   #12
I remember my first drink. It was an experiment introduced by a friend in my senior class.

Yes, excellent. You can completely dominate the readers' attention by creating pictures in their minds. That does not mean you should fill the paper with adverbs and adjectives, but you should use some words that elicit emotions. This could be a very powerful, thoughtful paper!! Good job!

Also, I think this topic is a good choice, as long as you are inspired about it, which you seem to be!
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 12, 2009   #13
A much stronger ending. A believable near-miss on the road shocks you into stopping, and the quotation from Shakespeare is excellent.

You still need to work on the beginning, though:

"I remembered, my first drink, was an experiment introduced by a friend in a senior class. Drinking was meant as the last resort, you see. I was desperate to pass that exam" I don't know that anyone, even in high school, would recommend alcohol as a study aid, or would believe that drinking would improve their test scores.

"The following day, my head was throbbing with an intense headache, and I couldn't see straight. During the test, I seemed to be unable to grasp hold of my concentration. My brain was totally blank, and nothing would come out of it. First, one beer, no matter how fast you drank it, wouldn't leave you this hung over. Your body would have finished processing the poison (which is essentially what alcohol is) within a hour or two at most, at which point any hang over effects would have largely disappeared. Plus, one beer isn't enough to dehydrate you, on its own, to the point where you would have a major headache.

Second, why would you continue drinking after this? You drank the first beer to try to improve your school marks, and it failed horribly to help you. Worse, it made you feel terrible for an entire morning. It isn't believable that anyone would just start drinking more after such an experience -- alcohol can be addictive, but like most bad habits and addictions, you have work on acquiring it. One drink does not an alcoholic make. Even fairly regular casual drinkers normally swear off alcohol for a day or two after waking up with a really bad hangover. Now, if you found yourself under intense peer pressure to drink, that might explain it. If you found, as many do, that alcohol allowed you to be more relaxed and outgoing, you might, especially if you were a bit shy before, have decided that drinking was worth the hangovers. Over a period of several months, you might have then started developing a tolerance for alcohol, needing more and more to get the same buzz. This in turn might have led first to psychological then to physical dependency on alcohol . . . and so on. This is the general way people slide into alcoholism, btw.
OP winner 1 / 9  
Jan 13, 2009   #14
Thanks very much for the advice!
4ever2bleed 9 / 28  
Jan 13, 2009   #15
start with a really scary story or sumthin
OP winner 1 / 9  
Jan 14, 2009   #16
Just want to ask, for summary writing, is it true that i should take out topic sentences from each paragraph?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 14, 2009   #17
No, a topic sentence is the soul of the paragraph! But actually, if you are just telling events in a chronological order, maybe the paragraphs will take weird forms. Still, it is not good to think of it as taking out the topic sentence; Dianna Hacker explains in Writer's Reference that the topic sentence might sometimes follow a TRANSITION sentence... but the topic sentence is still there.

:)

But it does make sense to approach summaries in a continuous way.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 14, 2009   #18
Do you mean that you should simply compose the summary of all of the topic sentences from each paragraph of the thing you are summarizing? If so, then that is a valid approach, as long as you make sure to paraphrase the sentences rather than copying them directly (which would be plagiarism, even in a summary paper).
OP winner 1 / 9  
Jan 16, 2009   #19
Taking out topic sentences is what my teacher told me. Is there any way that i can score 100% for summary writing? I really can't figure out what can I take out from the passage when it comes to summary writing, some sentences i think that they may be related to the summary question but it's actually not.
noori1234 2 / 8  
Jan 17, 2009   #20
i think you need to grab the reader's attention a little more...you need to get the reader hooked on
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 17, 2009   #21
A summary should capture the main idea of whatever it is that you are summarizing. Normally, the main idea of each paragraph is contained in its topic sentence. So, if you find the topic sentences for each paragraph, then you pretty much have your summary -- you just need to reword the sentences a bit so that the ideas are expressed in your own words. To practice, try going through articles and highlighting the topic sentence in each paragraph. Once you can do this and correctly identify the topic sentences every time, you should find summary writing easy.
OP winner 1 / 9  
Jan 18, 2009   #22
Thanks.
OP winner 1 / 9  
Mar 31, 2009   #23
For example, when writing a report to the principal to decide on an event to organise, then as the president of the student council, i must compare and contrast between three possible events outlisted and decide on one. How should I start the essay? Should I compare between the three points first or choose one to explain? Do i need to give both good and bad points for each event? How to conclude?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 31, 2009   #24
Don't start by writing the intro.

Start by writing a paragraph about the pros and cons of one of the three. Write three paragraphs, one for each possibility.

Then, in a fourth paragraph, talk about all of them! It will be a cool paragraph. After all that is written, you will know how to write the intro paragraph. You will grab the reader's attention and then state the main point you make in the analysis.


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