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European Women History - Thesis needed

Hi! I need help with my history essay. I have to compare two societies or one society at different time periods in European Women's History.

Teacher said - "Your paper should be based on two primary sources. You discuss each one and put it in its historical context, explaining why the women were upset. What they wanted, What they were doing. What was going on at the time.

Then at the end, you conclude by stating what had changed or NOT between the writing of each and whether the situations in the two countries were that different. If they were different, how do you explain it. It the situations were the same, what does that tell you!"

Every thesis I give to her she says is to descriptive. The one below is also to long.

Thesis: This paper has two main primary sources: The Napoleonic Code and Harriet Taylors essay, "On Marriage." The Napoleonic Code is a prime example of how woman were viewed at the time of the French Revolution, and the type of deterrents women faced while trying to progress. Harriet Taylor was a feminist Unitarian of the Victorian Age and fought for civil marriage, women's suffrage, education, employment opportunities, and the right to divorce. Her essay, "On Marriage" gives readers an idea of the thoughts, desires, and needs that the common Victorian woman once had. An in depth analysis of each primary sources helps paint a picture of women's struggles, hopes, actions, and needs during the French Revolution and Victorian Age.

What she had to say:
"Your thesis is more descriptive. It has no argument. You are just describing what the respective essays are about. You have to come up with an argument about how the primary sources reveal constant concerns of women despite the different time periods. Or explain how the concerns are different because of the progress women have made or because of the repressive atitutdes of the various times."

Does anyone have any good ideas for a argumentative thesis?!!


EF_KevinThreads: 8
Posts: 13,840
[Contributor] 129  
Apr 1, 2010   #2
The instructions your teacher gave are excellent. Tell her/him that Kevin at EssayForum is impressed by the high quality assignment!! :-)

The reason I like it so much is that s/he is challenging you to get to know the source the way people of that time period knew it. It reminds me of something I read recently about the beginning of the Gospel of John, when he used the word "Word" to refer to Jesus. The reason for this kind of writing is mysterious to me, but I can understand better if I learn about his audience from that time period.

As I keep reading, I see that your teacher gave you a brilliant explanation about the thesis. If you just tell the reader about the story, that is the way kids write book reports. To be a scholar and make meaningful contributions, YOUR ESSAY needs to be meaningful, too. You need your own theme.

Think of this: What if you were writing a report about your favorite kind of music, and you were writing it to convince your friend to listen to this kind of music. You would make a real argument! You would say, "Reggae music has WISDOM because of the way it combines hard and soft elements." Do you agree with that statement? Some people would, and others would not. That is what makes a good thesis statement.

Google this: arguable thesis


your enthusiasm is great!!

I really hope you catch the trick of making an arguable thesis. When you do, you will be a real scholar, because you will be participating in the discourse. When kids just describe the book/article, they are not participating in the discussion. YOU need to make an observation and rant about it.

When was the last time you ranted about something at the dinner table. An essay or composition is like that. Make your point, make your observation. Of course, this requires that you really appreciate the material and form an opinion.

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