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Future career goals essay for acceptance into high school program

mcxxvii 1 / 3 1  
Jan 19, 2013   #1
I have to write an essay about my future career and its goals
i want to become a pediatrician
and also illustrate how my love for this career ties into my love for children and their well being.
minimum is 300 words
i need a good introduction to bring the reader in and also a good conclusion and to finish off .

dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jan 19, 2013   #2

You need to give a start dear. You say you want to be a pediatrician and that's your future career would be. So, do your first draft and post it to the forum. We'll have a look and give you our comments. We can certainly help you with polishing your introduction and conclusion, but you need to write it yourself because only you know about what you want to tell them.
OP mcxxvii 1 / 3 1  
Jan 19, 2013   #3
In the future, I would love to become a pediatrician. Being a pediatrician seems like the perfect match for me because I enjoy working with children and knowing my work can make them better. Also my own pediatric doctor and mother have played an important role in my life and I hope to do the same for other children in the future.

At a young age I didn't have a lot of contemplating about what my career would be. Growing up I always watched my mom at her job and how she worked with her patients and did her best to comfort them in their time of need. Also my pediatrician, Dr. Haile has been my inspiration as well, he has been my doctor ever since I could remember. As a medical practitioner he knows the studies of medicine but as a pediatrician he applies it to children to cure their illnesses. I have always medicine, and understand the goals I must achieve to become a pediatric doctor. I have to major in pre-medicine and take classes such biology, general chemistry, and physics. A pediatrician is a child's physician who provides preventative health maintenance for healthy children and medical care for ill children. However pediatricians also care about your overall well-being, like social stresses, behavioral difficulties, and developmental disorders.

My love for children and seeking for their wellbeing, can be combined into one in this profession. Medicine is a very honorable profession, since it seeks to help those who need it the most. I am looking forward to becoming a pre-med major in college and taking the first step toward becoming a pediatrician.

i dont like it very much i didnt incorporate my goals and really dont know how to. I want the reader to feel how my passion for this career flows into the love for children and their well being and i also feel i kept repeating myself

i want it to be superb so i can be accepted so i really need help . I would like my introduction to start of with this : My career goals are to attain a career where I can express my love for children and passion for curing and caring for adolescents . To obtain these goals, I must set a plan...
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jan 19, 2013   #4
Here you go :D

Add a little flavor to this idea and present it with a punch. ;)
I love being with children and I get along with them great. This is why I dreamed of my future career as a pediatrician, the best career I can think of becoming closer to children to contribute for a better life for them. May be I was also influenced by my own pediatric doctor and mother who had always been my role model.
OP mcxxvii 1 / 3 1  
Jan 19, 2013   #5
i also need help with my main body
"At a young age..."
i need a way to add my goals to get to that career please and rearrangements
of sentences and grammar correction .
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jan 20, 2013   #6
I suggest you to leave out the first sentence in this para, as it tends to disturb your flow. So I suggest you to start with the next point;

I grew up witnessing how my mom comforted many young and old hearts by being responsive to their health needs and on the other hand how she was admired by them. There was also another inspiring figure in my life. He has been Dr Haile, the pediatrician who attended to me since I could ever remember. As a child patient, I always loved Dr Haile's company and always looked forward to his company. Association of these two great pediatricians fueled my passion for pediatrics.
OP mcxxvii 1 / 3 1  
Jan 20, 2013   #7
thank you soooo much !
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jan 20, 2013   #8
You are welcome :) .... I think you can do the rest :)
Hey, you are born into a family of pediatricians. So you may be having loads of interesting stuff to write here. :)
You write well.... and it's a matter of having a bit more confidence and put your things in the right order to get a smooth flow :)


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