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My impact on communities. Help me to understand the demand of the following supplemental essay .

nandasharma 9  
Dec 22, 2016   #1
We live in an urban-global age with over half of the planet's inhabitants living in cities. AAA College is an urban liberal arts college deeply engaged with the local community and committed to making an impact across the world. How do you aspire to use your education to impact local and global communities? [650]

Jo1nnyJiang 1  
Dec 22, 2016   #2
I hope this will help.

The topic conveys one message: The college has a deep connection with the local community and tries to make an influence.
It asks one question: How do you, personally, make an impact on the local or global community, which the college value.
Under one condition: Your education experience.

If you are going to answer this question, try to break it into serveral small questions like:

How's the college related to the local community?
What's the kind of influence the college wants to make?
What do I gain through my education?
What's the relationship between my education and the local, or the world?
If I was going to make a difference, how can my education experience help me? If it can't, why not?

In which sense, you can fully understand the true requirements of the essay and you can start to make some drafts.
Holt [Contributor] 1505  
Dec 22, 2016   #3
Nanda, what is the college major that you are planning to apply for admission to at this university? Think about the far reaching implications of your completing this degree upon your hometown, your mother country, and hopefully, the world. Start by thinking small. How will this chosen major help you to give back to your community? Do you think that by completing this degree, you can effect some much needed change in your town or local community? How do you plan to do that? More importantly, how do you see this particular university helping to train and educate you regarding the implementation of these changes?

I have offered you a number of guide questions that should help you address the prompt. What you have to do now is address the questions by honestly responding to the questions provided. After you complete your draft, post it in a new thread and then we can work on making it more compliant or editing the content until it actually responds properly to the prompt already. Right now, I can't give you any further advice because I don't know how you plan to write this essay. I look forward to reading your draft when you finally it ready for review.
OP nandasharma 9  
Dec 22, 2016   #4
I prepared the following essay by incorporating words from my earlier article for engineering college. Hope this will work ?

As my neighbor, Mr.Shakya, had already threatened me a couple of times to not mess with his private (highly secured) network, I-a mischievous 8th grader- used to hole up in my bedroom when he frequently complained my parents about his dysfunctional ADSL router: by plotting a simple brute-force attack to the Subisu's(a National ISP) network-bridge being incognito in the workgroup, I had gained access to his Wireless Nanostation and traced the family's entire devices' MAC addresses following the restriction of access from their own wireless network by activating the built-in MAC filtration protocol. With diverse technical skillsets regarding network topologies, I, however, never practiced severe cyber felony which could critically injure several institutions' database and privacy as well as lead me behind bars. This juvenile delinquency of manipulating wireless networks in vicinity-which bummed out my family and neighbors-was maneuvering my enthusiasm towards something groundbreaking in Wireless technology: Extreme Strengthening of Digital Security. From controversial incidents like Russian intrusion in American election to global economic treachery of Panama Papers, this omnipresence of vulnerability in cyber security psyched me up to enlighten myself with exclusive technical knowledge on Cyber Forensics as well as dedicate my time and labor for tightening of network security in my locality rather than the usual commitment towards cyber-infraction. I have concluded that for strict maintenance of upright cyber-world, classical digital communication paradigms ought to be revised for the nanoscale with Artificial Intelligence (A.I) capabilities.

XXX's prestigious science and engineering department equipped with state-of-the-art technology and pioneering approach towards education is what I need to kick off my pursuit of lessening cybercrimes, not to mention perfecting database management with flawless web transmission. By offering interdisciplinary science program, XXX provides a unified platform for engineering and computer science not available in any other institution, and forges fundamental links between modern mathematics and technological engineering. Under the supervision of world's finest educators and researchers like Takunari Miyazaki and Nancy M. Fleming, I will not only be getting mileage out of top-notch laboratory facilities from my early freshmen days, but I'll also be teaming up with Nanoscience & A.I. enthusiasts from other science/engineering faculties. Apart from getting my hands dirty by designing molecular transceivers and motors for short-range calcium signaling or crafting electromagnetic channel models and protocols for an efficacious long-range pheromonal Nano networking, XXX's Electron Microscopy Facility equipped with the recherché infrastructures of Transmission & Scanning Electron Microscopes along with several sophisticated computing courses, particularly Artificial Intelligence(CPSC 382) & Computer Security(CPSC 385) could enlighten me about the futuristic technologies regarding their sustainable employment towards conglomeration of Nanoscience and A.I for Cyber Security: synthesis of a Nano-scientifically Intelligent Computer Network.

After an epoch of miscellaneous scientific explorations at XXX, I am looking forward to being professionally involved in a major A.I project for substitution of contemporarily dumb networking entities with nanoengineered smart technology and revolutionizing the conventional digital storage and processing mechanisms for the sake of cybersecurity, not to mention my mission to deescalate the national illiteracy by launching an education web portal- something like Khan Academy, but more accessible to the geographically remote regions of Nepal. On a bigger picture, by following a biologically-hybrid principle of miniaturizing microelectronic and micro-electro-mechanical technologies accompanied with the realization of smart nanomachines from the molecular components, I am determined to invent invulnerable systems, which are superbly optimized in terms of architecture, power consumption, communication, and motivate their utilization as the building blocks for new energy-efficient and eco-friendly initiatives. This undertaking will ensure a breakthrough in economics, sustainable commercial growth, homeland security, healthcare accompanied with the lessening of devastating cyber offenses in today's digital empire, simultaneously, via heavily encrypted mechanisms buttressed by nanotechnology and A.I for every online business. Despite being an unprecedented communication paradigm, Intelligent Nano-networking demands an interdisciplinary approach with backings from highly experienced and qualified group of elites equipped with satisfactory infrastructural commodities, which I readily discover at XXX's engineering department.
Holt [Contributor] 1505  
Dec 22, 2016   #5
Unfortunately, this is not the essay that you should be using to respond to this essay. This is some sort of essay but it is not applicable to any masters degree supplemental application for your course. I do not believe that you fully understand the prompt or the explanation with guide questions that I provided. Let me see if I can offer a more concrete example for you.

As a student who wishes to solidify my work experience as a nano technology - cyber security expert, I would return to my home country after completing my masters degree and offer my services to our municipal / local government. I would volunteer to help create a firewall for the local government in order to prevent the possibility of cyber attacks and identity thefts in our most prone local government departments. I believe that I have to do this because my local government needs to protect the information of my neighbors and other community members, whose records could be used for the creation of fake identities using the profiles of our local residents, which in turn could destroy their future. I will start the cyberwall on a lower level but ensure that it would be so effective that our national government would take note of our accomplishment and request that I work on our national cyberwall as well.

What I have presented above is a premise for the 650 word version of the proper response to the essay prompt. Try to develop an answer similar to the one above, but more applicable to your interests and future career. If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
OP nandasharma 9  
Dec 22, 2016   #6
I apologize for not mentioning that this is an Undergraduate Optional Supplemental Essay.
I think you want me to further describe about the local impact rather than wide impact of my mission ? Any suggestions are welcomed .
Holt [Contributor] 1505  
Dec 22, 2016   #7
Nanda, thank you for the clarification. I only used my paragraph above as an example for you to better understand what the prompt requires of you. Yes, you now understand what the prompt requires you do for a response. It would be best if you can present the two aspects that the prompt requires which is a local or national, then international application of the degree that you will be completing. The prompt wants you to indicate how you see your degree helping you to make the lives of those in your country better. Then you are asked to go a step higher by indicating how you imagine an international application for your degree. This means, that the idea that you will develop locally, should have the ability to translate into a national or international set up, as all programs these days are expected to be.
OP nandasharma 9  
Dec 22, 2016   #8
Here, I've stuffed in the following phrase to highlight my impact in locale. What do you say ?
. I would return to Nepal not only to deescalate the national illiteracy by launching an education web portal- something like Khan Academy, but more accessible to the geographically remote regions of Himalayas- but also to exploit my XXX-blessed skills to shield the infectious Government mainframes and datagrams with topmost priority from disastrous cyberthreats.
Holt [Contributor] 1505  
Dec 22, 2016   #9
That statement really works as the immediate response to the prompt. Build upon that statement. Give it a serious introduction and supporting paragraphs before you conclude your statement with a strong ending. Don't aim to present 650 words in your essay if it is not possible for you to do so. Don't try to introduce information from your 2 previous essays because those do not really fit in with the purpose of this prompt. Keep it simple and direct to the point. Since the word maximum is 650, you should aim to present anywhere from 300 - 500 words. That should be sufficient enough for you to provide an accurate response. Do not try to fill in the word count just because you want to hit 650, that is a sure-fire way of ensuring that your essay will fall apart and not be direct to the point. Just aim to respond to the essay in the most clear manner that you can, even if you don't do it in 650 words.

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