Well, you need to do your essay and post it to the forum for us to provide you with feedbacks. Always mention the purpose of writing this essay (e,g, IELTS, TOELF) so that we can check the alignment between the prompt and your essay.
IELTS Writing Task 2: It is a good idea that people will continue working at old age, if it is possible for them to do so.
Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is evident that there are many people are still working, however, they became older. In most countries, some people believe that they can work if it is suitable for them to do so. However, they are permited to work, I partly agree with the point expressed. In this essay I will support my own opinion in the following examples.
To begin with, every thing has two sides, this is issue has also disadvantages and advantages. For example, there is no doubt that in many countries, such as western and the european areas a lot of people who are retired because of they got enough age in their profession, they will work. They are employed as simple worker in some companies or departments, such as airports and supermarkets, due to they cannot image their life without state jobs as a result of retired. Obviously, they have a right to do something like working, studying or relaxing as other people.
On the other hand, it could be led to some problems, for instance, unemployment among young generation. It is completely true to say that there is a high rate of unemployment in most countries, these days, not only among youngers, also older once. Furthermore, these figures are still going on rising in Central Asian countries. However one-five percentage of it includes older people who are continuing in working, even they are already retired. There is another argument that in some fields, such as doctors, politicians and professors of universities. It is possible for them to carry on being worker, because medicine needs all the time for a good surgeon in serious operations.
In conclusion, I believe that the government should not allow for older people to work even their older age, because sometimes it could not be advantage for providing them with enough jobs in each fields except some of them.
ammus1
I read your essay and i feel that u didn't state ur opinion clearly in this essay and each body para has to start with a topic sentence,example and concluding sentence.Moreover ,u need to focus on sentence construction,many sentences in ur essay is not ciear as per my knowledge.
