Hello! I have to do an essay, but its kind of different. i have to basically analyze a article...here is what i have...can u tell me what you think. The parts bolded...i wanted to know if they were understandable and good...if not how could i change them and fix them up?? Below is what i am getting marked on...thanks for everything...you truly help!!!
once again thanks---here it is---you have helped me out soo much
In the Case Study, Poverty in Brazil, anthropologist Nancy Scheper-Hughes examines the effects of financialization on the Brazilian economy, during the 1980's. Global financialization had fundamentally altered the Brazilian economy, which created cultural changes, and had an effect on ordinary individuals behaviors and priorities. Nancy Schepher Hughes focuses on impoverishment that was prominent in a northeastern community entitled Bom Jesus. This community encountered an increase rate of infant mortality, widespread malnutrition, and substance abuse. Even though is this issue was transpiring the national statistics fabricated the reality that was transpiring in Brazil, mainly in the lower class society, since Brazil was experiencing a tremendous economic expansion. Due to the development of Brazil, it appears the priority of the citizens was a national reputation, rather than focusing on limiting poverty.
The acknowledged circumstance that resulted in subsistence families who were forced to impoverishment livelihoods, was the operation of sugar plantations that caused malnutrition, and disrupted the structure of local communities. Economically, Bom Jesus was dependent on sugar mills and the cane fields that surrounded them. Yet, this is a prime reason to why chronic hunger occurred, due too sugar cane displacing nutritious foods, which caused individuals within Bom Jesus to encounter malnutrition.
Families were broken up, due to men having to go to the city in search of work to support to their wives and children. Arguably, this could be one of the reasons that unemployed and impoverished residents used tranquilizers as a form of support, to help them cope with stress, since it would help them escape the harsh reality of life-due to poverty being a dominant issue, as well as woman having to raise a family alone.
Obtaining formidable information allowed Schper-Hughes to realize that the national statistics implication of the political and cultural life in Brazil was fallacious, since she encountered individuals who were in a unfortunate condition.
Scheper-Hughes uses particular techniques to investigates this problem, such as establishing close relations with women, as a method to construct a substantial analysis on the poverty epidemic that occurred in Bom Jesus. By forming bonds with these woman it appears she was able to view their struggles against poverty, social discrimination and hunger. Due to hunger being a major issue within Bom Jesus, numerous babies died, simply because of infant malnutrition.
Scheper-Hughes assembled information that compared the infant mortality rate in Brazil, to the rate in Bom Jesus, by providing statistics using facts from local registry books and church records. She also took the initiative to visit cemeteries, which would give her a better idea on how many babies passed away.
Scheper-Hughes juxtaposed both rates, regarding the national infant rate and the northeastern region rate. The side-by-side comparison made it easier to comprehend how the individuals in Bom Jesus , had an increasing rate of infants death, in contrast with the national rate that was lower. The national infant mortality was 57 per 1000, while the northeastern region had a rate of 116 per 1000. Scheper-Hughes also provides an analysis that demonstrates predominantly in 1986, the infant mortality rate was 211, but had increased to 493, during a terrible year.
The over all analysis of the case study, demonstrated that during the 1980's the people from "Bom Jesus" (Brazil) suffered greatly from drug abuse, hunger and having to cope with numerous infants dying. It appears that Nancy Scheper-Hughes conducted a study that was influenced by a structuralist perspective. The main concept of the article was based on structural and "everyday" political violence that occurred in Bom Jesus. Hunger and poverty are two prime examples of what structural violence is, which is demonstrated in the article.
Structural violence occurs whenever individuals are disadvantaged by political, economic and cultural traditions. The article demonstrates that politically Bom Jesus was treated unfair, and the problems individuals within the community were experiencing were being ignored. Brazil focused more on the nations reputation, then to assist individuals who were greatly suffering from poverty. Scheper-Hughes had to understand the structure of Bom Jesus to get a better idea of why this problems were occurring. By doing this, she formed relationships and used substantial information, to gain insight of why these individuals acted out such behaviors. This makes it clear that Scheper-Hughes was most likely from a structuralist's "school of thought."
In addition, Scheper-Hughes formed a study that demonstrated how Bom Jesus had experience various predicaments. It becomes clear that these issues transpired, due to families being broken up, malnutrition, the government not focusing on the problems within Bom Jesus, and poverty. Scheper-Hughes took the initiative to study this problem, and to discover that the national statistics didn't reflect the true reality of Brazil.
Greetings!
I'm glad to help! Here are some suggestions and notes:
subsequently in the 1980's. - I'm not sure what this means. Do you mean "subsequent to the 1980s"?
which arose change in culture - this is ungrammatical; I think you meant "which created cultural changes"
Due to the development of Brazil, it appears the priority [I think that must be the word you meant] of the citizens was a national reputation, rather than focusing on limiting poverty.
The methods that Scheper-Hughes used to form this study were influenced by a "structuralist's" [or "structuralist"] perspective.
Evidence from the study that Scheper-Hughes was from the school of structuralism, is when it states, "The structure of local communities were severely disrupted." - This sentence is rather awkward, and I really don't see how that one sentence indicates that she is a structuralist. Surely there's more to it than just using the word "structure"?
This was one of the issues that led "Bom Jesus" into negativity.- This is your first mention of Bom Jesus so you need to explain what it is, and its relevance to the study. You don't actually say that the study focused on the town of Bom Jesus until the last paragraph; that should be in the first paragraph. You don't need to put quotes around it if that is the actual name of the town.
such as establishing relations with women,
The national infant mortality was 57 per 100, while the northeastern region had a rate of 116 per 1000, which implies fifty-nine more deaths occur annually - the numbers don't add up. Did you mean 57 per 1000?
"completely observe" - this is not a good phrase; how about "to study" instead?
You might want to work a little more on the circumstances leading to the problem. I'm not clear on why financialization and economic expansion led to increased infant mortality rate and malnutrition. Also, as mentioned above, explain the school of thought a little more.
Best regards,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Greetings!
I think you've made a lot of improvement on your essay! I have just a few editing suggestions:
had an effect on ordinary individuals' behaviors and priorities. - it is possessive, so use an apostrophe
This community encountered an increased rate of infant mortality,
the national statistics implications of the political and cultural life in Brazil were fallacious, since she encountered individuals who were in an unfortunate condition.
The side-by-side comparison made it easier to comprehend how the individuals in Bom Jesus [delete comma] had an increasing rate of infant mortality, in contrast with the lower national rate.
The article demonstrates that, politically, Bom Jesus was treated unfairly
Scheper-Hughes formed a study that demonstrated how Bom Jesus had experienced various predicaments.
Good job!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
