Running Online Shops: A Promising Career for New Graduates?

Instruction: word 100~500 ;what is your attitude towards running online shop in ChinaïźŸis it a promising career for new graduatesïźŸ

Nowadays, Running online shops is becoming very chic. In effect, E-commerce is in the midst of spring, and is developing at an unprecedented rate - it's estimated that one in every four people would do E-shopping by the year of 2030. In YiWu Industrial and Commercial College, which recently got a nickname as "TaoBao University" , the students obtain their diploma only through good managing of their own online shops. It's the sales volume instead of professors' evaluation that determines whether you are an excellent one or not. By so far, it seems that they are doing very well, some of them even became millionaires.

For new graduates, who are open to new ideas and adaptable to information era, running online shops is surely a promising career by which they could accumulate experience, gain new knowledge, stave off job competition and enhance practical working abilities. Perhaps, the most distinct advantages of running online shops are cheapness and flexibility, when talking about the term "online shops" , we actually mean "virtual shops" , for it need neither real shopping sites nor various management fees, and by the aid of computer connected to the internet, new graduates could do business wherever they are and whenever they like. What is more, in modern times, internet is far more accessible than ever before, and thus more and more time are being spent in the cyber world and people are becoming susceptible to extensive advertising, which actually means a vast ocean of potential consumers and an enormous domestic market are within our reach. With effective propaganda and wise decision making, undoubtedly, the great potential profit of online shops would be inconceivable.

Though exhilarating, the fast-changing market can sometimes get away from us if we care about nothing but profit or money. Conversely, it is our concerns for quality that lay the very foundation of the prosperity of running online shops, or rather, the energy force of any career we aspire to run. And also, a remarkable customer service is indispensable, for it will make you stand out from the rest and thereby improve your popularity. In a world that refused to stand still, there are no careers that are without challenge and struggle. If you want to run an online shop, make sure that you are with all your heart, and then, you will be successful.

Not a native english speaker, I do what i can
Punctuation inside of : "hello,"
{xyz] : rephrase
[xzy] : long sentence rephrase
I'd prefer if u use less "you" and "your"

Nowadays, Running online shops is becoming very chic. In effect, E-commerce is developing at an unprecedented rate in the midst of spring - statistics shows that one in every four people would do online shopping by the year of 2030 . In YiWu Industrial and Commercial College, which recently got a nickname as "TaoBao University," the students obtain their diploma only through good managing of their own online shops. It is the sales volume instead of professors' evaluation that determines whether you are an excellent one or not.By so far, it seems that they are doing very well, some of them even became millionaires.

For new graduates, who are open to new ideas and adaptable to information era, running online shops is surely a promising career for which they could accumulate experience, gain new knowledge, stave off job competition and enhance practical working abilities. Perhaps, the most distinct advantages of running online shops are cheapness and flexibility, when talking about the term "online shops," we actually mean "virtual shops," for it need neither real shopping sites nor various management fees, and by the aid of computer connected to the internet, new graduates could do business wherever they are and whenever they like. What is more, in modern times, internet is far more accessible than ever before, and thus more and more time are being spent in the cyber world and people are becoming susceptible to extensive advertising, which actually means a vast ocean of potential consumers and an enormous domestic market are within our reach . With effective propaganda and wise decision making, undoubtedly, the great potential profit of online shops would be inconceivable.

Though exhilarating, the fast-changing market can sometimes get away from us if we care about nothing but profit. Conversely, it is our concerns for quality that lay the very foundation of the prosperity of running online shops, or rather, the energy force of any career we aspire to run. And also, a remarkable customer service is indispensable, for it will make you stand out from the rest and thereby improve your popularity. In a world that refused to stand still, there are no careers that are without challenge and struggle. If you want to run an online shop, make sure that you are with all your heart, and then, you will be successful.

thanks a lot :-) it will be very helpful!
acctually, this composition task is assigned by my English teacher, a very kind and elegant lady. and she asked us to do more practice of English composition as we can, but as a Chinese student, it is turely very troublesome and difficult to write a good composition, sigh :-(

anyway, thank you very much, i will revise this composition, if you have any suggestion , please tell me.

certainly, u can post your revised version right here then i can edit it again

...chic? Well....may be I'm from old school... but I like if you don't use slang words in this type of essays.
Nowadays,online shopping is becoming increasingly popular.


... the students need to manage their online shops in order to obtain their diploma.


Perhaps, the most distinct advantages of running online shops may be the cost efficiency, flexibility in terms of time and geographical barriers.
This is quite interesting... I like your unique writing style :D
Good job!