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Simple Question - Just need help on finalizing thesis statement


darkheavens 1 / -  
Sep 16, 2013   #1
Dear all,

I am working on a really short 1000 word paper on the topic of the similarities and differences between Buddhism and Taoism.
The paper is simple, but for my thesis statement I followed the three argument rule for paper writers (e.g. I argue this because of X Y and Z reasons), and I am foreseeing some problems. If I follow this method then I will be well above 1000 words, so I need to cut down on material....or make my thesis a good statement while cutting material out of it.

Here is my thesis:

"Although there are many fundamental similarities between Buddhism and Taoism, such as the belief that the things in life are only an illusion, that everything is connected, and that one should focus on the self to achieve the ultimate goal, which is immortality, the teachings and paths that lead to these things differ."

I am thinking of cutting the "and everything is connected" section out of my thesis and paper (so I will no longer have three arguments), but I am not sure if that will then make my thesis weak.

Help as soon as possible will be appreciated, I am editing on a tight deadline.
CallMeDoctor 2 / 2  
Sep 16, 2013   #2
Although there are many fundamental similarities between Buddhism and Taoism, the belief that the things in life are only an illusion,everything is connected and one should focus on them self to achieve the ultimate goal, which is immortality; these are the teachings and paths that lead to these things differ.
Th25cc 2 / 90 26  
Sep 16, 2013   #3
Your thesis should not have examples in it. This limits the rest of your essay and makes what should be a claim into a plan of development.

Say something like "While Buddhism and Taoism teach similar principles, the path they use to teach these principles are different". Those are the only two parts you need. You don't need the examples, and it would be better if you eliminated them so you could free up your essay to discuss any principle and how the teaching methods are different.


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