Unanswered [27] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Essays   % width Posts: 13


"Why do you slay the righteous?"/ Narrative Essay - Story or Narration?


UMK 1 / 9  
Mar 16, 2009   #1
( Assignment : write a narrative essay) Im in Grade 12 and I was wondering a few things about how to incorporate someones point of view into my essay. My question is : does a narrative essay have to be from someones point of view or could it just be "story telling" via basic narration? Im not too proficient with narratives, im more into writing expository essays. My paper is due at the end of spring break and im hoping to improve it a lot. Its in the process of being completed and ill post the first paragraph if it helps. The story is ficitonal and any constructive criticism is highly appreciated. Also please tell me what I could do better and what I did well.

"Why do you slay the righteous?" the man bellowed. Because I crucify my advarsaries mercilessly, and defy those who challenge my validity" a sadistic male voice replied. The tone of his voice was firm yet indicated solemnity. The store owners lifeless corpse lay motionless and pallid. A deep maroon stain expanded as blood depleted from its source, his conglomorate flesh and bones. A man of immense stature, scars littered his face, as if it was once rubber and someone had engraved sketchy lines within it. A serpent caressed the leathery hide that embraced his robust shoulders. He roamed the land seeking wealth and pleasure, he would eliminate any who opposed him. Determined to fullfill the luxurious fantasy that infected his brain. He would venture out on a daily basis, comitting crimes and sinister deeds to satisfy his greed. A feeble minded young man with infinite potential, which was spent and faded away on his negative decisions. His intentions were a spitting relection of his actions.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Mar 16, 2009   #2
If you are writing fiction, you can write from the third person omniscient point of view, which means you are free to switch between the various characters' points of view however you want, or you can write from a limited third person perspective, in which you use the third person but mostly give us only the protagonist's point of view. Or, you can use first person, either writing from the point of view of the protagonist, as in Catcher in the Rye, or from the point of view of a minor character, as in any of the Sherlock Holmes stories. Each approach has its advantages and disadvantages, so you'll have to experiment a bit to decide which one you prefer.

That's if you are writing fiction, of course. A narrative essay, however, is normally a non-fiction, or purportedly non-fiction piece written in the first person, from the essayist's point of view. In other words, you would write about an incident from your own life, describing it and reflecting on what it meant to you. This, unfortunately, means that what you have written so far is pretty much on the wrong track.

Good luck coming up with a new draft, though.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 17, 2009   #3
Aside from the technicalities of what you need to do for a great essay, you are a great writer!! Your descriptions are good and interesting, and you still have a way of keeping to the "show, don't tell" rule. That in itself is a hard thing to do. Don't get discouraged, just twist up what you need, post it here, and we'll help you work out any kinks.

:)
OP UMK 1 / 9  
Mar 17, 2009   #4
Ill probably write it in the first person from the protagonists " friend's " point of view. Im feeling that should be sufficient and it should achieve a desired effect. Ill post the whole essay when its done, im aiming for no more than 1000 words. Thanks for the input, its been extremely helpful :) I also have a good feeling about the insight portion in the final paragraph and how ill sum it up together.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Mar 17, 2009   #5
The use of a minor character to tell the story is always interesting. It's main advantage is that it allows you to maintain some suspense -- a story told in the first person by the main character lets us know that the main character survives and does well enough to be able to take time to write down his story. A story written in the first person by someone other than the protagonist doesn't have this problem. You also have the opportunity to play with the way the reader perceives the protagonist. A friend might approve of the protagonist's actions, for instance, even when the reader normally wouldn't, forcing the reader to reevaluate their moral assumptions.
OP UMK 1 / 9  
Mar 18, 2009   #6
Thanks, im almost done the essay and ill be posting the whole thing soon.
OP UMK 1 / 9  
Mar 20, 2009   #7
Completed Narrative Essay ( Please Evaluate)

My narrative essay is now complete, I previously posted the first paragraph of this essay and now I am finally done. Constructive critisism is welcome. Thanks :)

Editing to remove some portions and it should be up again, sorry.
Mustafa1991 8 / 373 4  
Mar 20, 2009   #8
Your essay is mostly plagiarized from the underground rapper "Immortal Technique's" song, "Dance With The Devil", the lyrics of which are included below.

If it's any consolation, I like immortal technique too.

LYRICS -- Dance With The Devil -- Immortal Technique

(Google the above to see the lyrics)
OP UMK 1 / 9  
Mar 20, 2009   #9
Oh, i never realized, I have heard the song once I guess the lyrics stuck to me. Ill remove any portions which are and repost it. Sorry for the inconvinice =\
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 21, 2009   #10
No inconvenience! That is what is cool about this kind of collaboration. You know... I recently wrote a song about being able to sing in rhythm with "no metronome," and then I heard that new , weird song on the radio about keeping a beat with no metronome... and I realized that I had accidentally adoptend their lyrics without realizing it...

:)
OP UMK 1 / 9  
Mar 21, 2009   #11
Oh, it was about a few lines from the song. My essay is a bit over 1000 words and im tyring to shorten it as well.
chipmunk 6 / 10  
Mar 21, 2009   #12
u should quote if u get words from other sources
OP UMK 1 / 9  
Mar 22, 2009   #13
yeah i probably should've quoted, i thought it was from somewhere i just didnt know exactly where.


Home / Essays / "Why do you slay the righteous?"/ Narrative Essay - Story or Narration?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳