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My task as a student is to write an argumentative essay, defending this quote. Introduction.

"Our desire to conform is greater than our respect for objective facts." - AP Essay

My task as a student is to write an argumentative essay, defending this quote. I have started and introduction that I would like to receive feedback on. In addition, I'm at a loss for valid examples to use to support my argument.

My introduction: Why does the applaud of the crowd overshadow the thrive of the individual? How could something as compelling and undeniable as the truth be so easily evaded? The answer is conformity. Author, Margaret Drabble, once addressed this concept, contending that societal pressures have more authority over a man that righteousness. Drabble is essentially criticizing society's judgement, and rightfully so.

Apr 24, 2016   #2
Hi Diana, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, this website is aimed at providing you with the best and most comprehensive remarks that will hopefully be useful in your future writing.

Now with this introduction, I believe the reason why you are having a little bit of a time formulating it, is the fact that you are trying hard to express yourself, without even understanding the reason why you are writing this particular essay.

Moreover, you are trying to use big words, believe it or not, base on experience, the bigger the words you use in the essay, the more complicated it is, how to fix it?, use simple, conversational and easy to understand words, they are more likely to showcase the idea that you are trying to convey to your readers. However, before you can achieve this, the first step is to understand and know the reason why you are writing this essay, its purpose and what it means to you, this is because, your personal opinion towards your writing, matters too. I wish to review the revision soon.
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