Just want an overall idea/feedback on my essay.. What do you think about the format? English? or any helpful suggestions would be greatly appericated!!
Essay is based on a book:
Brave New World, Nineteen Eighty-Four, and our World
Both of these books are great novels that picture our future through two different totalitarian views; each society is trying to control its people by suppressing love and emotions, banning freedom, and rewriting history. Huxley's Brave New World and Orwell's Nineteen Eighty Four both depict the dream of a utopia through an inhumane and an immortalized way. The ultimate goal described in these books is the same. It is the ambition of population control and world domination. The difference is the way each society achieves these goals.
The Nineteen Eighty-Four world is described as totally authoritarian, similar to Fascism and Communism. This world is divided into three authoritarian states, East Asia, Eurasia, and Oceania, which is referred as the United Kingdom, where they story begins, known as Airstrip One. It is an autocratic state run by a group known as a Party whose leader is Big Brother. Posters of the ruling party bearing the caption Big Brother is watching you dominate the city's landscape while two-way television dominates both private and public place. Oceania's people are divided into three classes; Inner Party, Outer Party and Paroles. Winston Smith, who is the main character in the story, is an Outer Party member working in the Ministry of Truth. Smith secretly hates the Party and is starting to write his thoughts in a diary. It is here that he commits a thought crime. To ensure Oceania's people's loyalty toward the Party, family bonds as well as friendship and love are prohibited unless such relationships advance the Party's agenda. "There will be no loyalty, except loyalty toward the Party. There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother."(220)
Brave New World opens in London at Hatchery and Conditioning Center, a research facility and a mass factory that produces and then conditions test tube babies. There are ten world controllers in Brave New World. Mustafa Mond is one of them who control London. The date is noted as 634 A.F. After Ford, a notation based on the birth of Henry Ford the famous American automobile manufacturer and assembly line innovator who is worshipped as a god in Huxley's world. According to Mustafa Mond, "history is bunk." (40) Any form of history or religious studies are forbidden. The motto of the Brave New World is Community, Identity and Stability.
There are many similarities as well differences between Brave New World and Nineteen Eighty-Four. The central theme of both these books is clear. In Orwell's world, it is bluntly clear, "Ignorance is strength." (4) This is forcefully imposed on their population. While in Brave New World, a person is conditioned to hate books at a early stage of life. Brave New World was written in 1931 before the rise of Hitler in Germany and Communism in Russia. It demonstrates how technology and advancement can finally be used as inhumane tools to control society and restrain individual liberty. The imaginary society described in Brave New World is relatively less brutal and generally mild compared to Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four. The nearly perfect control of the population is achieved by systematic reinforcement of desirable behaviour by many kinds of non-violent manipulation, but in Orwell's society this goal is achieved exclusively by cruel punishment as well as the encouragement of paranoia, loneliness, and fear of punishment. A person is forced to be loyal to the Party. People are indoctrinated to accept that government is always right. A person is trained to fear Big Brother because of all the propaganda instilled in his/her mind.
Both societies practice a system of classification. Either a person is in a lower class or a higher one. Individuals are not meant to be equal. Upward social mobility is impossible since a person is ascribed to his/her class. In Oceania, citizens are categorized into three groups: Inner Party, Outer Party and Paroles, but in Brave New World population was genetically encoded at the embryonic stage in five different categories: Alpha, Beta, Delta Gama and Epsilon. Each group is then colour coded by its dress code. A high percentage of the population in both societies are simply workers. They have to do all the hard work to benefit their government. Governments do not care about individual lives or family values. The institution of marriage is described as highly restricted in Nineteen Eighty-Four. Because sexual attachment diminishes loyalty to the Party, an anti-sexualism policy is imposed on Party members. While institution such as marriage does not even exist in Brave New World. The words parents, mother or father are considered taboo in the society. Everybody belongs to everyone else. "Just try to realize it, try to realize what it was like to have a viviparous mother. Try to imagine what living with one's family meant." (44) Obviously no one has a sense or feeling as they are all engineered and decanted in the Hatchery in an unnatural way. There has never been a family in Brave New World because people are synthetically made. Sexuality and promiscuity is promoted at very young age, but no one has a sense of a true love or emotion. No one knows what life would be like to have a family or what real love would be.
In Nineteen Eighty-Four, to assure the complete submission to the Party and loyalty to Big Brother, traditional family bonds are devalued. The Junior Spies, an organization consisting of children who are loyal to the Big Brother, are trained to denounce and report their parents of any thought crimes. Parents are terrified of their own children. People are constantly watched by a monitor and Big Brother pictures everywhere. People are not supposed to think negatively. They have to love their leader. "No one dares trust a wife or a child or a friend any longer"(220)
The way both governments view their citizens and society is the same. They are both distorting people's minds to make them believe they are higher or lower class. History books, religious books, and all forms of independent reading and writing are banned. People of lower class are obligated to respect and obey upper class. In Nineteen Eightt-Four, the government is the highest class. The middle class are the ones who have a better job than the lower class and are living in a different area than the lower class. Upper class people are not allowed to associate with the lower class. As mention previously the classification system in Brave New World is identified as Alpha, Beta, Delta, Gama and Epsilon. Each category is then colour coded by its dress code. Each group work is specified. Epsilon are the most retarded and simple workers while Alpha are at the top of the groups. Both societies are only concerned about the well-being to the people in the higher class. Both governments use different method of brainwashing to keep their population in line and stupid.
In Brave New World, history, religion, literature and all form of studies are completely banned. From the first day when they are decanted in the hatchery, individual are being watched and sleep-taught. Speakers are under their pillows promoting the world state agenda. Children are conditioned to hate books and nature by associating electric shocks with these objects. Once they grow up, they are already pre-wired. They hate books and nature; love is diminished within their thoughts. Since no one is interested in reading books or loving each other; the goals are achieved. The World State is safe and every member of the caste system seems happy.
In Nineteen Eighty- Four, the Party destroys the history and rewrites it in a way to favour government position. They do not want people to get any idea about reality. This approach kills the notion of rebellion and it gives government more power. People are compelled to love their leader and are furious at other nations with whom they are supposedly at war.
In conclusion, both these books leave their reader to think about where our world is standing? What direction are we heading: that of Huxley's Brave New Word or Orwell's Nineteen Eighty Four? Today, in our society family relationships are devalued to some extent close to what Huxley envisioned. We have the highest divorce rate in history. Marriages have become a joke. Being gay or marrying someone other than the opposite sex is more acceptable and publically promoted "IT WAS BAD ENOUGH when the divorce rate in the U.S. reached epidemic proportions and single parenting became commonplace. Now, more and more Americans are developing a tolerance for same-sex marriage. New York recognizes such marriages, and the California and Connecticut Supreme Courts struck down those states' laws banning marriage for same-sex couples, allowing them to join Massachusetts in accepting homosexual unions. Even though Californians recently voted to stop granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples, the sanctity of marriage seriously seems to be undermined and in danger of further deterioration." Promiscuity and sexual conduct at an early age is more acceptable than decades before. Giving birth out of wedlock is no longer an issue. Love between parents and children is gradually diminishing. The economic situation has forced parents to put their infants in a day care. When parents get old, then we put them in a retirement house, a similar place where Linda was put. We spend more time with others. It is a social taboo if you are over eighteen and still living with your parents. Because of our materialistic and individualistic attitude, now we have to make an appointment to meet our parents. To some extent we have created a class system similar to Huxley's and Orwell's world. We are divided as lower class, middle class, or higher class. Then we are colour coded in terms of a blue collar worker and white collar worker and so on. Our society has become more unequal than what Huxley and Orwell thought decades ago. According to George McKenna and Stanley Feingold, author of Clashing Views on Political Issues, "the financial wealth of top 1% of households exceeds the combined household financial wealth of the bottom 98%."
On a more global scale, our world is constantly at non-ending war. Yesterday's friend and ally is today's enemy. Information at a very high level is twisted and sometime kept secret from the public. In our world, there are too much information that makes it hard to find accuracy. The super powers have created nuclear club and have divided the world in their sphere of influence. We are constantly reminded of the fear of communism, terrorism and so on. We are regularly watched, and our conversations are wiretapped through the Surveillance Act.
Huxley, Aldous. Brave New World: And Brave New World Revisited. Harper Collins: 2004
Orwell, George. Nineteen Eighty-Four. Plume: 1983
McKenna, George and Feingold, Stanley. Taking Sides: Clashing Views on Political Issues:
Basically you need to start talking about the relevance of those books in our society today, much much earlier in your essay.
You're a pretty good writer but your essay lacks direction. It's fragmented.
Ask yourself, what am I writing to prove?
I mean, as is stands now, you say this is the case, and that is the case, and this is the case, and that is the case, ...
I never got the feel that I could settle down, sit back, and take audience to a compelling, fluid, focused essay.
Your essay suffers from a lack of organization, purpose, and delivery.
Here's one way I might approach this essay.
Start right off the bat, these two books are classics today because ...
Then you weave the modern relevance in, not as a parting conclusion, but as the binding in your essay. At the end, maybe say orwell was eerily prophetic, or the way we are headed today... or we can only hope those books turn out later to be disproven... so many ways to end this with a proper conclusion. It's a piece of cake.
You might also want to focus more on the main difference between the two novels, which is that the utopia in Brave New World is essentially benevolent and functional. It seems horrible to us, because we haven't been socialized to it, but everyone living in it is perfectly happy and content, except for Bernard. Whereas, in 1984, everyone is miserable and terrified, and realizes that they are oppressed. Also, the goals of the government in BNW are essentially "good," in that they consist of social stability and universal happiness. The goals of the government in 1984 are essentially "evil" in that they center around control and power for their own sake. You mention this, but then go on to focus mostly on the similarities between them, though, given the fundamental differences, these similarities are really only incidental. If you were to play up the differences, then, when you talk about our world today, you could say whether you think it is closer to Huxley's world or Orwell's. This approach would give you a more interesting and thoughtful essay that merely trying to say all three world's mentioned in your title are similar.