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Writing admission and application essays for graduate school (page 2)

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Building strong network and relationships - Chevening

3 - I suggest you to use STAR method while writing you essay it will make your essay way more structured....

Graduate seeeed - Sep 24, 2024habib_baharuddin - Oct 11, 2024
Personal statement - integrative systems biology PhD program Pitt University

2 - Never indicate that you were not interested in a certain field until later on. Being a PhD applicant,...

Graduate southlab - Oct 5, 2024Holt - Oct 10, 2024
Transportation and Geoinformation Technology - Motivation Letter for Applying Master Program

2 - Your degree is related to Forestry Engineering, which is all about the management of natural resources. You are over...

Graduate ahmadazmi - Oct 1, 2024Holt - Oct 2, 2024
Personal Statement for Master of Science in Anesthesia

3 - I think acronyms like CAA could have been better explained,Since your reviewer might not be a person in the...

Graduate edumanzo - Sep 22, 2024seeeed - Sep 24, 2024
Personal statement for non degree study at Hunter College School of Education

3 - I have no doubt that the non-degree programs at Hunter College will enable me to accomplish my career goals...

Graduate sheriecherie - Sep 15, 2024KelvinG - Sep 16, 2024
Molecular Biology and Public Health - Study Plan for NYCU PhD Application

2 - This is an empty study plan. It does nit tell me what the focus of your dissertation will be...

Graduate Saira Khurshid - Aug 25, 2024Holt - Aug 25, 2024
SoP for Masters in Finance / Banking

2 - Try to develop a more in-depth discussion of your background and experiences that help you believe that the...

Graduate thefrog - Aug 12, 2024Holt - Aug 14, 2024
How would the specific programmes of study in Ireland - response essay

2 - How many words have you been given to respond to the question? Your answer is not effective at all....

Graduate senay - Jul 16, 2024Holt - Jul 17, 2024
Short statement of purpose for Lund MSc about accounting and management control

2 - I do not really see how the program will be helping you further your training in the aforementioned sections....

Graduate Junefish - Jul 14, 2024Holt - Jul 15, 2024
criticism on the quality of letter of motivation for aerospace engineering masters

2 - Oops. This is too much of an exaggeration. You cannot fly a plane at the age of 8....

Graduate megamind1 - Jul 12, 2024Holt - Jul 15, 2024
Supporting statement for Master's degree in Advanced Control and Systems Engineering

2 - Your supporting statement tends to jump around in terms of information sharing, without actually building to a solid finish....

Graduate Fikri26 - Jul 8, 2024Holt - Jul 9, 2024
SOP/Motivation Letter for Design Academy Eindhoven

3 - Your statement of purpose for the Master's of Design program at Design Academy Eindhoven showcases your passion for art...

Graduate LamiaNoshin - Jun 29, 2024markzily - Jul 3, 2024
Data Science Masters - Personal Statement

2 - Kindly indicate what degree you completed in college and how it relates to Cybersecurity. How did you find yourself...

Graduate amahopeless - Jun 30, 2024Holt - Jun 30, 2024
Bachelors to Direct PHD - KFUPM

2 - I do not really read any information that would tell me that you are qualified for a direct PhD...

Graduate marsad1998 - Jun 22, 2024Holt - Jun 23, 2024
Seoul National University Graduate Program - Social Welfare - personal essay

2 - Thanks for letting me know that you were focusing on the "risk" aspect of the suggested writing topics. I...

Graduate mkim10612 - May 22, 2024Holt - May 27, 2024
Statement of Interest for a PhD position at KU Leuven (Physics graduate)

2 - This is not really a statement of interest. It more of a presentation of skills and qualifications, which should...

Graduate karan1999 - May 8, 2024Holt - May 17, 2024
AAS - Translation Studies : Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

2 - While you did present some good reasons in the earlier paragraphs for your master's course choice, it is not...

Graduate miccowwy - Apr 7, 2024Holt - Apr 19, 2024
LSHTM - MSc Health Policy, Planning, and Finance personal statment

2 - The first thing I would advise you to do is to keep the essay written only in the English...

Graduate siopao106 - Mar 29, 2024Holt - Apr 2, 2024
TU Delft - MSc Transport, Infrastructure, and Logistics Motivation Letter

3 - @Holt hello, thank you very much for the feedback. I'll be sure to revise my essay as per your...

Graduate rhnprks - Mar 23, 2024rhnprks - Mar 30, 2024
Transition from psychology to cognitive science Msc SOP Review

2 - You must try to avoid using a template Statement of Purpose, Motivational Letter, Personal Statement, or any other application...

Graduate lofisophie - Mar 26, 2024Holt - Mar 28, 2024
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE for EPFL Management, Technology, and Entrepreneurship

2 - Based upon what evidence? What you make claims like these, you must back it up with numerical data...

Graduate netkeojas - Mar 19, 2024Holt - Mar 28, 2024
SOP for MSc Computer Science EPFL

2 - A reviewer is usually more impressed by the way that the applicant manages to combine undergraduate studies and its...

Graduate tealCrayon98 - Mar 23, 2024Holt - Mar 24, 2024
Master's in Social Research - PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR UNIVERSITY OF EDINBURGH

2 - Mention the courses as deemed relevant to the requirements of the masters course. This will show your preparation...

Graduate pookie123 - Mar 16, 2024Holt - Mar 21, 2024
Transfer Admission Personal Essay for Temple University

2 - The story being told is inconsistent. It lacks a smooth flow in terms of transitioning from your early life...

Graduate privateangels - Mar 15, 2024Holt - Mar 20, 2024
Personal Statement for Master Application at China University XJTU

2 - I am confused. Are you applying for admission to the university? If so, then there should not be any...

Graduate Jadelim_99 - Mar 7, 2024Holt - Mar 10, 2024
EPFL Master's program in Applied Mathematics Statement of Purpose

2 - Since you are applying for a masters degree course, it will be best to highlight your college education, work...

Graduate valg01 - Feb 24, 2024Holt - Feb 27, 2024
Personal statement for master in information technology with artificial intelligence specialization

2 - Since this is a personal statement, it should not touch on your academic and professional exposure. The personal statement...

Graduate userc - Feb 15, 2024Holt - Feb 18, 2024
Short statement of purpose for RSM MSc about entrepreneurship and Climate Change.

2 - My opinion is that you do not really respond to the question being asked. Your introduction is confusing and...

Graduate antoinebernzrd - Feb 14, 2024Holt - Feb 18, 2024
GKS PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR MS IN ARTIFICIAL

2 - The essay lacks in required substance overall. It does not provide information as required by the list of writing...

Graduate fxkimji - Feb 11, 2024Holt - Feb 11, 2024
Fluency in Korean - Global MBA STUDY PLAN

2 - Your language study plan is incomplete. You have introduced your pre arrival preparations but not your post arrival language...

Graduate krishna26 - Jan 31, 2024Holt - Feb 9, 2024
Statement of Purpose Master Data Science EPFL

2 - Start your essay at paragraph 3. You are already a seasoned professional those foundational courses that you studied are...

Graduate davidedalce - Jan 29, 2024Holt - Jan 30, 2024
GKS-G 2024| Future Study Plan

2 - Your discussion regarding language improvement should not be included in this essay. That belongs to the language study plan...

Graduate sankook - Jan 23, 2024Holt - Jan 28, 2024
Personal Statement for a MSc in Computer Science from the University College London

2 - The essay seems to be open ended. The last paragraph seems to be hanging. There is no clear concluding...

Graduate CS_Masters2024 - Jan 16, 2024Holt - Jan 20, 2024
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR M.SC IN ARCHITECTURE AND URBAN DESIGN IN MILAN

3 - I really love how you take account of the feedback from the consultant and how you shape your already...

Graduate Supreena - Jan 14, 2024himca - Jan 17, 2024
Learning and Creativity - advice SOP for masters

2 - Refrain from mentioning the 8th grade in this essay. You are applying for admission to a masters course....

Graduate Akshay66 - Jan 14, 2024Holt - Jan 14, 2024
The impact of enterprises - GKS-G GMBA | Goal of study and study plan

3 - @Holt Thank you for the review but my whole essay got edited its just the introduction part my whole...

Graduate sankook - Jan 11, 2024sankook - Jan 13, 2024
Personal Statement for Master of Behavioral Science program at UPenn

2 - The response to the essay is totally incorrect. You are discussing your personal interest in behavioral science and how...

Graduate himca - Jan 12, 2024Holt - Jan 13, 2024
Communication is essential - GKS-G | Language Study Plan | GMBA

2 - Remove the references to the other languages in the essay. Those are not necessary to the discussion and will...

Graduate sankook - Jan 11, 2024Holt - Jan 13, 2024
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE - PARSONS NEW SCHOOL - MFA Fashion Design and Society

2 - Your background as it relates to your desire to complete this program is not well developed in this presentation....

Graduate RIA0512 - Jan 3, 2024Holt - Jan 10, 2024
Data Science Masters - University of California - Berkley Statement of Person

2 - You created an essay form of your curriculum vitae. That is not the purpose of the personal statement. The...

Graduate smallIvy - Dec 19, 2023Holt - Dec 23, 2023
PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR KGSP/GKS graduate Scholarship/ MBA - International Business Major

2 - I understand that you want to prepare early for the application season and that is a very good thing....

Graduate najamin - Dec 17, 2023Holt - Dec 17, 2023
PERSONAL STATMENT FOR MASTER PROGRAM IN SHEFFIELD UNIVERSITY (SUSTAINABLE ARCHITECTURE DESIGN)

2 - I am not sure if you were given a guide for writing the personal statement. Some universities offer prompt...

Graduate Hiba Hallak - Dec 9, 2023Holt - Dec 16, 2023
SOP for Parsons School of Design, M.P.S in Communication Design

2 - The reviewer is not interested in your immigrant background. He could care less about that as the focus of...

Graduate jonamon - Nov 14, 2023Holt - Dec 10, 2023
Advice for a statement of purpose for a master in robotics at EPFL

NEW - I'm writing a statement of purpose to apply for an MSc at the EPFL. The guidelines given by...

Graduate frozono9 - Dec 5, 2023— -
Statement of purpose for MSC mechatronics at ETH review; the sop has word limit of 1000 words.

NEW - Seeing my old grandparents struggle with daily chores like cleaning, cooking or even getting items lower to the ground...

Graduate gleipmir - Dec 3, 2023— -
Why business? GKS-G Personal Statement | GMBA ASPIRANT |

3 - First of all, Thank you sir/madam for your corrections. I will use your suggestions and yeah I am not...

Graduate sankook - Nov 26, 2023sankook - Dec 1, 2023
Document about your academic and research background, career goals, academic interest and program

NEW - Growing up helping my parents fill the charts with students' scores, I stumbled upon the first data science lesson:...

Graduate phanthuccac - Nov 30, 2023— -
How studying in your chosen specialization will help you achieve your goals? MM - Mahidol University

2 - The main problem with this essay is that you do not speak in complete sentences. It is almost as...

Graduate mjsty - Nov 14, 2023Holt - Nov 27, 2023
short and long term academica and professional in SOP

2 - Since you are being asked for your long and short term academic goals, you should feel free to mention...

Graduate shaimkibria - Nov 13, 2023Holt - Nov 27, 2023
Masters in Neuroscience - Motivational letter for Neurasmus

2 - The motivational letter is going around in circles. You have missed the point of the motivational letter. It is...

Graduate HaileLeo - Nov 13, 2023Holt - Nov 27, 2023
Personal Statment GKS Graduate 2023 - Advertising & Public Relations Department

NEW - Summary: Starting in 2023, the GKS requirement is to write every essay within 3 pages. Please help me review...

Graduate ernimeilina - Nov 26, 2023— -
A statement of purpose for masters in computer science for UIUC.

2 - You must know the difference between a statement of purpose and an extended discussion of your academic background. You...

Graduate Wooper358 - Oct 20, 2023Holt - Oct 25, 2023
How MS B analytics program align with your goals and values? How will you contribute towards cohort?

2 - You should be discussing points that would show you are more than qualified for the program. You are not...

Graduate trustme123 - Oct 7, 2023Holt - Oct 8, 2023
Town in Sudan - How have the influences in your life shaped you?

2 - The essay lacks focus and becomes confusing to read at times. You should simply refer to the country as...

Graduate lokudu - Sep 26, 2023Holt - Oct 8, 2023
Master of Computer Science Statement of purpose - review & suggestion

NEW - Computer Science Statement of purpose Dear University X Admissions Committee, I am writing to express my ambition...

Graduate teddies - Oct 1, 2023— -
Statement of purpose for MS in Computer Science programs. I'm not sure how I should structure it.

3 - @Holt That makes sense, thanks for the reply! I'll take your advice into consideration and see how to...

Graduate anu_mh - Sep 16, 2023anu_mh - Sep 29, 2023
Statement of Purpose/Study Plan for Master's in International Business.

NEW - Prompt: I am applying for a Master's in international business in South Korea and they asked for a...

Graduate omyb - Sep 28, 2023— -
Essay on Why are you an ideal candidate for MSc in Business Analytics and how program will help?

2 - Do not use this reference. It is too vague for you to be believed by the reviewer. The...

Graduate Love478 - Sep 17, 2023Holt - Sep 26, 2023
Master in advertising and communication - Self-Introduction

NEW - I am passionate about marketing My name is Kaylin and I am from Vietnam. I graduated from Finance...

Graduate ngocdiep199 - Sep 26, 2023— -
Personal Statement for MSc in Energy Systems at Oxford University

2 - I am wondering if you were given a specific set of writing guides before you wrote the personal statement....

Graduate AJaya - Sep 8, 2023Holt - Sep 24, 2023

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