(Academic goals essay: Briefly state why you have chosen XYZ University for your degree and specify what you hope to accomplish. Applicants: In no more than 250 words, explain how enrolling in the Master of Education program will help you achieve your professional goals.)
career in Computer Science
A career in Computer Science has been my dream ever since I learnt the basics of my first programming language, Java, as part of the curriculum in my high school. The various approaches I could take towards solving a problem excited me in a way no other subject did. Ever since then, my goal has always been to continually evolve into a more capable programmer. Nearing the end of my Undergraduate study, I feel the next best step to fulfill that goal is to enroll in an MS programme by an institute that provides one of the best educational facilities to push my professional career in the right track.
I wish to pursue MS to gain more specificity in particular sub disciplines within Computer Science, that is, Data Mining, Machine Learning, and Software Engineering as well. The final year project that I'm working on right now involves a large portion of these disciplines, and working on it has made me realize how exciting I find these areas of CS. With these as my leading interests in the field right now, I feel a graduate school education is exactly what I need to gain more specialized knowledge that I can use to build a successful professional career.
XYZ, a prestigious public university equipped with one of the best research and development facilities, along with its in-depth coursework on the disciplines mentioned earlier, and guidance of its various experienced professors, will undoubtedly help push my goal of being the best programmer I can be, to its true potential.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,873 4563
Rayan, your response is too generalized and pointless. You need to create a stronger essay that has only 2 focus points: academic and professional goals. These can easily be presented within 2 paragraphs, without the need to be pointlessly wordy as you are now. Let me see if I can guide you through this:
1. Discuss the final year project you are working on. Describe it.
2. What is the real world application of your project?
3. Connect the project with some specific learning elements that can help you to continue to develop this project as your masters thesis.
1. Expand on the real world application of your thesis project.
2. Does this have a relevance in AI, Big Data Analysis, or further development of an already existing field of CS? Explain.
3. How do you see this project helping you achieve your goal of becoming notable CS developer in the future? Any specific company and department in mind?
By discussing these guide questions, you should be able to focus your essay in a more appropriate manner for the required discussion parts. Limit yourself to 125 words per paragraph to better present your essay in a balanced manner.