"Accomplishments lie within the reach of those who reach beyond themselves" - SOP

Appreciate if the moderators and contributor would read it and provide some feedback on my SOP. It's not a first draft. I have been writing this SOP for quite some time now.

Thanks, Samidh.

Prompt:
please make the statement concise and to the point, addressing past accomplishments within the realm of computer science and engineering, giving reasons why he or she is especially qualified for the program, and goals that the applicant wishes to pursue.

SOP:

I first became interested in computer science when I was exposed to the power of programming languages as a kid. Printing my name on the screen for the first time was one of the most satisfying and exhilarating experience of my life and that is when I decided that I wanted to be a computer expert. I was lucky enough to have a father who is himself a computer programmer and under his guidance I have been able to hone my coding skills ever since. I was always curious about computers right from my childhood, especially what goes on behind the scenes which made me take up computer engineering as my major for undergraduate studies. Like an artist, I knew that what I could create with computers was only limited by my imagination.

My aptitude for coding helped me get an internship at a local start up where I helped them in making a couple of websites. The owners were impressed by my abilities and during the last two years of my college I was their go to guy for freelance PHP development. During the last semester I collaborated with them to create an android application that would ease the problems of house renting by eliminating the need of middleman. I was the one entitled with the task of designing and coding their entire android app. This was my first step in solving a real world problem and it won't be the last.

In the final year of my college I took up a project that would make it easier for people to use version control system. What I noticed was that my classmates were intimidated by git because of its command line usage and didn't use it although they knew the benefits of using a version control system. I took it upon myself to make a basic git like software for windows platform with basic functions like commit, log and reset. During the execution I faced quite a lot of problems as to how to take a snapshot of the file system and revert back the file system to a previous snapshot. Although it required a steep learning curve, the end results were very good. The software was well received by my peers and by the end of that semester many were actually using it for version control of their code.

It was during the data mining and warehousing lectures that I realized what I wanted to do in my professional life. Those lectures got me interested in the technologies behind information retrieval. I particularly got curious about algorithms than can learn from data without being explicitly programmed. The more I read about it the more I realized how powerful Machine Learning is considering the amount of data that companies today have. I also realized that human life has changed a lot with the progress of computer and computer applications. As it becomes more pervasive the input/output and processing requires being more adaptive and aligning to the human mind, the computers should be able to learn to perform better from experiences, gained from performing the tasks. The Machine Learning discipline of Computer Science couple with statistical techniques has a great potential to deliver immense value to the human life and society at large. This further cultivated my interest to take Machine Learning discipline of Computer Science as my specialized area for graduate study.

Coming from a family where everyone has good academic achievements, I have developed a keen desire to pursue my graduate studies in computer science at the XXX University, which will provide me an opportunity to work in a highly intellectual environment by which I would be able to realize my dreams of exploring and contributing new vistas in the chosen field. Your institute, besides having a host of eminent professors as its faculty, gives me wonderful opportunity backed by required infrastructure and resources to hone my skills and acquire knowledge. I enthusiastically look forward to working on existing projects and developing better data mining techniques with Professor XXX.

Five years from now, I see myself well equipped with the knowledge to overcome real world problems in the field of Machine Learning and data mining. I believe that "Accomplishments lie within the reach of those who reach beyond themselves". I am confident of making my own humble contribution in enhancing the image and reputation of your esteemed University in the years to come.

Sam, reading the way that you wrote this essay tells me that you are simply an average student who dabbles in computer programming. You don't have an extra ordinary talent to present in the field, nor do you present any accolades or awards for your programming achievements. You really down played rather than played up your participation in various programming endeavors. I would suggest that you spice up your essay and make it sound more exciting in order to entice the reader. Right now, the essay is not interesting at all to read. Rather than simply saying that your GIT program was well received, you should play that up by presenting it in a unique manner that makes you sound like you accomplished something truly important and worthy of attention from your peers. Wordpress and Photoshop usage does not necessarily make an impression since those are programs that anybody can learn to use. Play up your software development aspect. Show a side of you in relation to programming that is unique and notable. That is the only way to gain the attention of the admissions officer.

Thanks for the response. I felt similar when my essay started to shape up but I was at a loss regarding what to write. I will definitely try to improve on this based on your feedback. How do you feel about the paragraph where I mention about my interests in Machine Learning?

vangiespen, I made a draft based on your response.

Dude

I think it is best if you can expand on what you have learned . You can talk more on your coding skills and what impact it had . Did you work on any projcts as a hobby ? Add that with details as you are apllying to a tech program.

Do give a small anecdote if possible on how you fell in love with coding and that can serve as a hook for the adcoms.

@vincenm thanks for your suggestion. I have a lot of small projects i can write about but i have included them in my CV. The universities explicitly asks for a CV so i guess writing about them in my SOP would be futile. Plus this essay is already long (875 words already).