Hi EF Team,
I need your help to review my Statement of purpose(SOP). I am applying for Master of Science in Computer Science with security as specialization. Please review the below SOP and give me your valuable feedback.
thanks,
Sravan
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE:
"Don't fail to do something just because you can't do everything"
This was and is the thought that constantly remained the undercurrent in my life. Born in a small town, I was always an inquisitive child and the first time I came in touch with computers was in my 4th standard. I thought of them as new version of video games but I never imagined that these are machines which will help in solving complicated problems. Later, I realized that computer science is a subject that enchanted and delighted me.
I completed my under-graduation from XXXXX, one of the premier institutions in India. Here, I had the opportunity to learn subjects that spread over different branches of engineering like Data Structures, Algorithms, and Operating systems from Computer science and Basics of Communication systems, Modern Communications and Digital Signal Processing from Communications.
In my freshman year I spent time learning the basics of the said fields and reveling in the results which now appear trivial. At the under-graduation level, I was fortunate to hone various talents and participate in several extra-curricular activities to have a versatile personality. My project during under-graduation was on reconstruction of signal from non-uniformly sampled data under the guidance of Prof.xxxx . I published 2 papers from my research work. During this time, life taught me to be patient, flexible, time management etc. which helped me a lot in my job.
Computer science was a subject that I incessantly loved and after my under-graduation I became Mclorian at <company name> Bangalore designated as Malware Researcher. Until I joined <company name> my knowledge was mainly limited to theoretical knowledge. Later, on my job I obtained not only practical knowledge but also learnt several techniques which I was never aware of. Prior to job, I knew that all data in soft copies is binary and is stored in ASCII format. But, I was never exposed to a tool which showed data in binary. On my job I was exposed to tools like hacker's view or file insight which reveals the binary version of any file. My responsibilities during the tenure of my work were static and dynamic analysis of field samples, escalation from customers and outbreaks, writing signatures for detection and cleaning which includes registry and memory repairs, writing generic/heuristic signatures in "C" based on the analysis for the current sample detection and for their future variants.
During my college days, I took part in group projects which involved developing an application (course like Software Engineering requires this). I wrote programs in C or java. When I didn't get results from what I expected I sought help from seniors or search for that in search engines. But, my job gave me another option which was debugging an application using debuggers like ollyDbg or Windbg. By using these tools, I came to know how an executable works instruction by instruction.
At <company name>, I also used to receive samples which exploit vulnerabilities in a software. At this juncture, I learnt the price and consequences of vulnerabilities existing in software and operated on many such exploits (zero-day exploits). Now, after a stint of two years experience at <company name> I am motivated and enthusiastic to pursue MS in computer science with specialization in security at the esteemed <university_name>. I consider myself fortunate and privileged to be guided by the excellent faculty which will enhance my capabilities and skills. I am confident and sure that my strength in mathematics and aptitude will facilitate my development in computer science. I sincerely believe and understand that my achievements in academics blended with the study at this university will result in win-win situation. Therefore, I enthusiastically look forward to be part of the post graduation program at <university_name>.
these are machines which will help in solving complicated problems - these are machines that help solving complicated problems.. (Just making it a little crisp)
Later, I realized that-- May be you could say. .. ever since it has been a subject ...
In my freshman year I spent time learning the basics of the said fields and reveling in the results which now appear trivial.-- Is it necessary?
During this time, life taught me to be patient, flexible, time management etc-- I am not sure if etc is ok to use..
obtained not only practical knowledge but also learnt several techniques which I was never aware of-- may be you can sharpen this sentence further and be precise?
On my job --? Really? Wouldn't it be in my job?
Nothing much about why exactly this univ i feel.. Not sure
Just my 2 cents. I may be not be thorough after all :)
"Don't fail to do something just because you can't do everything"
This is the same as saying, "Let's not make the perfect the enemy of the necessary," as President Obama said recently, quoting Voltaire.
Your experiences and knowledge are excellent, very impressive! But I think you should do this to every paragraph in order to support that theme:
Change either the first or last sentence of each paragraph so that every paragraph either begins or ends with a sentence that tells how the main idea of the paragraph is an example to support your theme about "not being able to do everything" but " being sure to do something" despite your limitations.
Know what I mean? Make it so that the essay serves as a lesson to deepen the reader's understanding of that quote.
:-)
Sravan,
Except a few sentences from the last paragraph i.e. "Now, after a stint of two years experience at <company name> I am motivated and enthusiastic to pursue MS in computer science with specialization in security at the esteemed <university_name>. I consider myself fortunate and privileged to be guided by the excellent faculty which will enhance my capabilities and skills. I am confident and sure that my strength in mathematics and aptitude will facilitate my development in computer science.", I do not see statement of purpose (SOP).
You should consider rewriting it. I may be harsh, but my reason is. SOP is to get the faculty get to know the students intentions/purposes at the university and after graduating. This is what they want to know through one's SOP. Now for doing this, applicant's might need to refer to their past achievements. So from my understand SOP should contain, more of what exactly is your purpose by doing MS at this university and what are your plans after graduation, and less of your achievements/experiences/influential incidents . Achievements/experiences/influential incidents could be very useful in justifying or connecting your purpose part.
