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Be acquainted with you in ways different from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data


minty0801 1 / 3  
Jan 22, 2016   #1
3. This personal essay helps us become acquainted with you in ways different from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself. Given your personal background, evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken; or discuss an issue of personal, local or international concern and its importance to you; or describe a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that impact. We are looking for an essay that will help us know you better as a person and as a student.

Late at night, I was aroused from my sleep by the doorbell. I vividly remembered the first glance of my father when I opened the door. It was the most depressed and exhausted face that I had ever seen before. "I lost my job." As soon as he spoke, I realized that my family would suffer from a financial hardship. It was the first time that I felt a sense of responsibility to help my parents reduce their burden and relieve their pressure. I seemed to mature overnight. Never did I make complaints that the dinner is not fit to my taste any more. Never did I get impatient when helping my sister with her homework any more. I began to keep records of my daily expense to save money. I served as a home tutor in holiday to help make ends meet. There is not a single moment of hardship that cannot be transformed into one of personal strength. Hard as it was, the time of the hardship is of great value to shape me into a caring, independent and flexible person.

Another thing the hardship brought to me is the reflection on life. Life is full of unknown and challenge. It is impossible for us to predict when the trouble will knock on our door. However, as long as we move out of the comfort zone and keep making progress, we are able to deal with unexpected problems whenever it comes to us. My father regretted that he didn't force himself to enrich knowledge involving automation equipment and computer controlling system. If he has pu efforts on mastering the new technology occurred in mechanical field, he would not fail to find another good job. Since then, I made up my mind to spare no efforts to learn new things and grasp every chance to challenge my myself. When I was a senior three student in high school, I devoted myself to study my weak subjects. When later entering Nanjing University, I challenged myself to learn Korean, which opened a new world for me. In 2014, I became a volunteer in Nanjing Youth Olympic Games. It was a great challenge as well as a huge opportunity. Making friends with people from Trinidad and Tobago enhanced my communication skills. Dealing with daily issues of the committee improved my organizational abilities. Conversations with diligent players let me know that no one could achieve fame without enough hard work.

It has been several years since my father find a new job. However, the impact the experience gave to me never shades with time.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jan 22, 2016   #2
- sleep by thea doorbell.
- I vividly remembered( even with the action being in the past, use a present tense as you are narrating it ) the first
- I served as a home tutor inon holiday to help make ends meet.

- Another thing thethat hardship brought to me is
- the reflection onof life.
- My father regretted that he didn't
- If he has put efforts on
- However, the impact of this experience gave
- to me never shades with time.

There you have it Gujie, I hope my remarks and corrections helped,
what I notice on your essay is the verb form as well as the tenses of
the words you use, this is somehow a common mistake but it's always
good to be able to spot this differences.
Do let us know when you need further assistance.
NourNour 22 / 39 7  
Jan 22, 2016   #3
Never did I make complaints that the dinner is not fit to my taste any more ----> I have never complained about the dinner anymore.

Never did I get impatientAdditionally, I have never got impatient when helping my sister with her homework any moreanymore .------>


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