Hey,
Thank you for taking the time to read this. This is my graduate admissions essay for a doctoral program. The only requirement is that it be 500 words. No other instructions really given. I feel I'm close to getting this down, but missing something. Better first line perhaps? More varied sentence structure? Also, do I sound conceited and, if so, how can I read as more humble?
All constructive criticisms are welcome!
As an activist and student at Florida State University I've learned the most powerful method of fighting social injustice is eliminating inequality in the educational system. The educational system represents the epitome of intersectionality; serving as both a gauge and liberator of racial and economic inequality. Upon reading about your Human Development and Social Policy program, I knew I could successfully foster my interests. Ultimately, I would like to be a professor and researcher, working to make social programs and educational institutions as effective as possible.
Organizing with students' rights groups, teaching with the Center for Participant Education, and creating a books to prisoners program has demonstrated for me the need for quality, accessible education. Volunteering at my local crisis counseling hotline and starting a nonprofit community mental health center has familiarized me with the process of working in and creating nonprofit organizations.
Working two jobs as a full time student while engaging in activism and facilitating my own research project has prepared me for the commitment and time management skills necessary for your program. I'm fortunate enough to have first hand experience conducting research in k through 12 schools through my position at the Florida Center for Reading Research. My senior honors thesis gave me the opportunity to research, formulate, and test my own hypothesis.
During my experience in Prof. Roy Baumeister's social psychology lab I learned that studies in the lab suggest belief in free will correlates with desirable qualities, like higher self-esteem. It has been advised that to ensure external validity, multiple populations must be tested (Peterson, 2001). The results could vary given a less fortunate population. For my senior honors thesis, I examined the correlation between belief in free will and self-esteem in a homeless population. My results revealed that belief in free will continues to correlate with higher self-esteem among a homeless population; however, the levels of self-esteem in this population are significantly less than those of college students. This experiment provided me with valuable experience researching in the field.
The gap in educational achievement between privileged and marginalized groups has been frequently demonstrated. Black students score lower than white students in math and reading (National Center for Education Statistics, 2001) and the average Latino has only 11 years of schooling (Rivera-Batiz, 2008).
Considering income and home life have been suggested as contributing factors to the achievement gap (Marks, 2007), could after school programs decrease this disparity? Leninger & Kalil have shown that non-cognitive skills are strong predictors of success (2008). How do people acquire these skills? I'm also interested in the cognitive processes that create self-fulfilling prophecies of failure or success, such as Prof. Desmin's research on open and closed pathways (2008).
Scientific evidence should compel social change. I would like to work with Prof. Mesmin Desmin, Prof. Barton J. Hirsch, and Prof. Diane Schanzenbach to examine these issues and implement solutions into social policy.
Some corrections:
-second paragraph: books FOR a prisoners' program
-next to last paragraph: This experience provided me with valuable research experience in the field.
Out of all you listed, what is your dream social program reform? What would you want to make more effective? Try to highlight ONE and play out your role in the scenario.
Good luck!!
