This is admission essay for a Master of Science Programme in Tourism and Hospitality Management...
requirement: 3 page essay reflecting intellectual abilities, sense of imagination and interest in tourism and hospitality
I have been writing it for last week...it definitely needs to be revised by "a fresh pair of eyes" :-)
Would appreciate severe criticism.
My most important experience sought me out. It happened to me, I didn't cause it, nor did I look for the opportunity.
Having returned to my home city in Russia after one year work experience abroad in the UK where I was with a 5 star city hotel group (first, half a year in London followed by six months' placement in Birmingham), I went to work for my previous boss as a restaurant manager. He was very excited to have me back and that was handsomely reflected in salary package. I must admit it felt comfortable working at XXXX Lounge DJ Cafe; a few new waiting staffs, same bartenders, same customers. But comfort was not what I was after, no cozy, warm place in an easy, totally predictable environment.
So what was it I was interested in? I wanted to be where you fight for business. Where global language and intercultural/personal skills make the difference. This is where I can make my best contribution. In short, I wanted to be where the action and the challenges are.
One and a half month into restaurant manager job and I had a surprise (to say the least) phone call from a friend of mine. We hadn't spoken for ages as both traveled: Sergei worked in a boutique villa development on a south-eastern tip of Phuket Island and I lived and worked in UK.
"Would you like to come and work in Thailand for couple of months or so? XXXXX HOTEL are looking for someone like you" - was his first question as he surfaced after the wave of excitement I blew at him. Clearly, my friend enjoyed tropical lifestyle and work experience in that distant Asian country, and he tried his best at selling idea to me. The moment couldn't be better for someone to do so - I needed to get out of the comfort zone and explore.
Now there was a clear plan in place: a chance, a challenge, and a choice. A chance to open my intellectual door to the world Europeans consider psychologically the most distant one from Western culture, and to broaden my view well beyond the usual. A challenge to learn a big resort operations in a compressed timeframe and to adapt to a completely unfamiliar environment. A choice to diverge from the mainstream path.
At the end of 2 months' management traineeship (not a common one as the company covered my return airfare and provided decent monthly remuneration) I signed one year contract with the hotel, and later a two year contract followed it. And again, the opportunity knocked on my door, I didn't apply for those positions. Before I could think of making an enquiry to HR department, my manager approached me directly and asked if I would consider to take up next step and further my expertise first, in sales and marketing systems management and second year it was an offer to transfer to group sales department.
A rather unique opportunity came along when I worked as a Wedding Specialist. I would be one point contact for all wedding related enquiries made to the property, prepare quotations, contract rooms and entertainment and, once the contract is signed and deposit secured, pass the file over to Event Management team, who would coordinate all the logistics and activities. So we had a confirmed function with symbolic western style wedding blessing ceremony in the gardens and not long before its commencement Master of Ceremony informed us that he could not make it...Everyone pointed at me as the most "experienced in wedding matters" - I had to save the ceremony and I did. After ceremony heartfelt thanks from friends and family of the newly wedded proved it went very well. I was Master of Ceremony on many wedding functions held at the hotel, Event Executives preferred to work with me as it saved them time and hassle to book someone from outside; besides, couples left positive comments regarding the option to have a female MC that our resort provided. Our cooperation with Event Managers lasted long after I moved offices and became Event Sales Manager.
In addition to being ambitious and motivated enough to put my heart into every task, I am also extremely organized. This is one characteristic that has always received praise. I pay particular attention to detail, which I believe has contributed to my success thus far.
Now I am-on a higher playing field, though back to square one: about to make an academic detour form the prescribed path. An unnecessary delay for my career progression.
But stop! Is that at all true? Although some may consider unemployment to be a depressing period, I relished my newfound freedom, exploring opportunities I hoped would satisfy my interests and goals.
Getting a degree makes perfect sense for a hotel executive. Getting a degree makes even more sense in my particular case: it is the perfect academic supplement to my career background, the one I need to become a leading edge hospitality CEO.
To satisfy my desire for success, I must continue my education, which started with a real job, at a real place with real business situations. And this time I create opportunity for myself. "It is not how good you are, it is how good you want to be."
I am very excited about entering Master of Science in Tourism and Hospitality Management program that will allow me to focus on my interest as well as provide me with the career possibilities and exposure to resources, such as a variety of networks and learning tools. I now posses a strong foundation to build upon, and I am ready to assume the rigors and challenges of the Graduate School program, which I firmly believe will prove central to my future success.
So what are my concrete plans for the time after my graduation? One extremely attractive option for me would be helping to set up the opening office for Le Méridien St. Petersburg - Opening June, 2010. Or join one of the 95 properties opening in the next 2-3 years under Starwood Hotels and Resorts umbrella in Asia Pacific. But frankly, these are just a few options I can pinpoint now and I am sure that many more will become apparent during the academic experience.
After all, my desire to come to XXXX University is just another manifestation of the characteristics that made me go to Thailand a couple of years ago: take the chance to widen my scope, welcome the challenge that goes with replacing narrow security with broad responsibility. Accept, for this time I create opportunity for myself and make the choice to put all my effort into fully developing and playing out my talents.
You've written a good essay! Most of the minor problems that I see have to do with dropped articles (a, an, the). Here are some editing suggestions:
He was very excited to have me back and that was handsomely reflected in the salary package.
One and a half months into the restaurant manager job and I had a surprise
"Would you like to come and work in Thailand for a couple of months or so?
as he surfaced after the wave of excitement I blew at him. - I see what you were trying for, but I don't think this metaphor really works; it conjures up a rather goofy image.
Clearly, my friend enjoyed the tropical lifestyle and work experience in that distant Asian country, and he tried his best at selling the idea to me.
A challenge to learn a big resort's operations
I signed a one year contract with the hotel,
my manager approached me directly and asked if I would consider taking the next step and furthering my expertise; the first year, in sales and marketing systems management, and the second year, it was an offer to transfer to the group sales department.
So we had a confirmed function with a symbolic western style wedding blessing ceremony in the gardens, and not long before its commencement, the Master of Ceremony informed us that he could not make it. - Perhaps the title was different where you were, but normally, this position is called the Master of Ceremonies.
After the ceremony, heartfelt thanks from friends and family of the newly wedded proved it went very well. I was Master of Ceremony on many wedding functions held at the hotel; Event Executives preferred to work with me as it saved them time and hassle to book someone from outside;
"It is not how good you are, it is how good you want to be." - Where is this quote from? If you put it in quotes, you should really attribute its source.
I now possess a strong foundation
Accept, for this time I create opportunity for myself and make the choice to put all my effort into fully developing and playing out my talents. - It is not clear to me what function the word "Accept" has in this sentence. Did you mean "Except that this time, I am creating opportunity for myself..."?
Best of luck in your studies!