The question is as follows:
Tell us why you are applying to this program. What are future goals?
Recently, while visiting some friends of family, I noticed a child sitting in the corner taking apart some of the toys. I went and sat down next to him and asked why he was taking the toy part, he replied to me, "so that when it breaks I know how to fix it." This experience brought back some vivid memories of my interests, even as a child, in discovering how things worked that continued to motivate both my educational and professional journeys. My thirst for knowledge has lead me down this path towards graduate education and research.
I find many aspects of biology interesting, and, the inter-relatedness of the sub-fields makes it hard to delineate areas of interest. My inquisitive nature and past experiences have led me on an intellectually valuable path which I believe is an excellent preparation for a PhD in Cell and Developmental Biology. This is a field of study with vast potentials waiting to be explored. I believe that science should be approached by starting with the smallest "building-blocks" and working up. The design of the program guides the student to think from the ground up all throughout the curriculum. The ability to study both the cellular structures and the physiological properties of the cell immediately gained my attention. Understanding how these components work is fundamental and essential to studying any biologic system.
I am confident that my experience and technical skills provide me with a good scaffold towards a successful career in research. I enjoy the challenges of research in its requirements of both creativity and perseverance. My time as a faculty member has been both an enabling and enriching experience by adding a new dimension to my already accumulated knowledge. Student' inquiries often required me to approach subject matter from a new direction. As a result, I have gained a more developed and thorough understanding of basic biological systems and principals.
Additionally, my time in the Pharmaceutical industry has allowed me to think more analytically and further develop my technical and research skills. I wish to further develop my career in the Pharmaceutical industry by strengthening both my awareness of systems and materials as well as my technical skills. Understanding of cellular systems is crucial to drug discovery and development. I wish to further understand cellular signaling and possibly develop drugs with novel receptor sites. Furthermore, this field of study will allow me to explore avenues in which the industry has little or no interest. I find the possibility of exploring my personal scientific interests to be exciting, challenging and potentially intimidating.
In addition to the field of drug development, I am drawn tostem cell technologies. With the recent and titanic advances in stem cell technologies, the avenues of research are endless. The idea genetically manipulating adult cells to divide into totipotent cells especially intrigues me. The possibility of replacing a diseased organ, with a new organ that contains the same biological properties as the host is both fascinating and potentially fruitful. This process could resolve the practical issue of organ availability but also address the issue of graft rejection.
Graduate study at XXX will give me an opportunity to pursue my interests in cell and developmental biology through both interdisciplinary and clinical approaches. It will also allow me to further forge relationships with students and researchers with diverse educational backgrounds and interests. I am especially interested in the pathobiological area research especially the work being done by Dr. XXX with mitochondrial DNA. This seems to be both a fascinating and under appreciated area of study. I look forward to honing my skills and knowledge through working in the exciting research environment at XXX.
Hi Melinda:
Without going through the entire essay (now), I want to show you the first paragraph. While the essay is good, it needs a lot of work. First, you don't have a thesis statement in your first paragraph, nor do you have a topic sentence in the other paragraphs; but that's not the only issue. I would like for you to take a look at the para below -- and focus on the corrected sentences, and see where you wrote them incorrectly. Then, as an assignment, write them at least ten (10) times. I think that in that time, you will have learned how to construct the sentences correctly. When we have completed that part, we will tackle the rest of the essay. OK?
Mark
:)
Recently, I was visiting with friends of my family andwhile visiting with some friends of the family, I noticed onea child sitting in the corner pulling apart the toystaking apart some of the toys . I went and sat down next to him and asked why he was taking the toy part, he replied to me quite frankly , " so that when it breaks I know how to fix it." This experience brought back some vivid memories of my interests even as a child. in discovering mechanisms of how this workhow things workedand that continued to motivate both my educational and professional journeys.
This was a rough draft of the essay I was focused more on getting the content I wanted in the essay rather than working on my grammar right yet but i appreciate the imput.
Hi Melinda,
Well, in that case, I think that you did well with the content. It clearly identified your reasons in the essay -- for how you feel about the situation. I think that the content is well-organized. The grammar needs to be corrected; but you mentioned that you will work on that (indirectly). I enjoyed reading the substance of the essay, Melinda!
Mark :)
I believe that science should be approached by starting with the smallest components and working up.
I don't like this sentence. It made be wonder why you didn't choose quantum physics or something alike.
One more thing-- it would be great if you mention a potential supervisor, and explain briefly why you find his or her work interesting.
thank-you for your imput! I will make changes to the essay to incorporate your suggestion.
Hi Melinda,
You are an excellent writer. I think that the rest of us would love to see your revision when you have it completed. Just post it here -- and we will get back with you.
Mark
?This is high quality material. I guess the part I might want to work on is here:
I am confident that my experience and technical skills provide me with a good scaffold towards a successful career in research. I enjoy the challenges of research in its requirements of both creativity and perseverance. ----This part starts to drone on with sort of general things. It is nicely written, but I think you can do better if you try to be more specific here and use imagery words that will give the reader a real experience of the stuff that gave you these skills. See if the chill of inspiration runs up your spine and propels you into a brilliant rewriting of this paragraph
My time as a faculty member...--- right here, it is being a faculty member that I want you to share. Give them a glimpse of the scene in which you gained valuable skills and experiences.
