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"Adversity and loss make a man wise" - Personal Statment for Univ

"Adversity and loss make a man wise." These golden words most succinctly explain my life this far. When I was '13 years old, my parents separated. It was an emotionally draining incident that changed my whole perspective toward life. I could no longer lead the life of a carefree kid, as I had to take care of my mother, who was experiencing depression, as well as my younger sister, who was only eight years old at the time. My sister was too young to understand what was happening, and whenever she asked me about our father, I made up a story to shield her from the unnecessary distress. Such hard times called for composure and a pragmatic view about the situation.

As a result, I became more determined and focused on achieving my goals: to provide my family the life they deserve, which was only possible through my studies. I balanced my personal and student life, by devoting equal times to both. Instead of succumbing to the agony and mental anguish that I felt during those days of hardship, I focused more and more on my studies, developing an intense passion to excel in everything I did. Having learned the importance of commitment from my familial situation, I would commit to a relationship only when I was 100% sure that I would be fully loyal to it.

I am 100% certain that I want to pursue a graduate degree in computer science.
Gaining admission into XXCollege of Engineering was a stepping stone as more challenges were to follow. Moving far from my rustic home town was one of a kind experience. Getting acquainted with the hustle and bustle of a big city like XX was baffling at first, but I was determined to achieve my goal. However, life had a way of intruding when it was least convenient. While preparing for my final exams this one semester, I got a call that my mother had been admitted to the hospital and her life was in danger. I rushed home, not caring about my exams, to take care of my mother. When I was finally able to return to school, I completed my final exams and scored a distinction (66%+) in that semester that was only because of my sincere and regular behavior during the usual college days. This incident taught me the importance of time and how life is so ephemeral. Hence, I do not want to devote any time to worthless ventures in life. A graduate degree is vital for me as it will enable me to become a professional computer engineer who can provide a proper life to his family.

The pain of growing up without having my father by my side still haunts me till this day. However, instead of locking it away into the past, I have brought it along with me to the present and will continue to do so for the future. Although I certainly have a shortfall when it comes to the amount of guidance and life lessons I have been able to get out of life, what genuinely matters is my desire to give back to the world ten times more than I will ever be able to receive in a lifetime. When it comes down to it all, I thank my father for taking me this far in life-without being by my side for even a single day, yet amazingly still motivating me to achieve my goals, and my current goal is to pursue a graduate degree in a subject that I love the most: Computer Science.

Dec 28, 2011   #2
Pretty good. You might want to add some details of this university's programs that really attract you. Make the essay sounds like is for the university not for any university
Dec 28, 2011   #3
I really feel your plight on the subject you have just discussed, but to be frank with you the panel of professors want to know how prepared you are for the intended course, your career objectives i.e what you are willing to achieve after bagging the degree, and maybe works that show your readiness for the subject. Am so sorry but I have to say this, telling them the pain you've gone through may go through to them but officially, it may not count. If it were a prompt to talk on an issue as above, it is a different case but this is a statement of purpose telling them your interest, how prepared you are for your interest, and what you intend doing with the interest on achieving it... Please make them see that in your statement. All the best.
Dec 28, 2011   #4
Q. Please note that the Personal History Statement should not duplicate the Statement of Purpose.
In an essay, discuss how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. Please include any educational, familial, cultural, economic, or social experiences, challenges, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how you might contribute to social or cultural diversity within your chosen field; and/or how you might serve educationally underrepresented segments of society with your degree.

//This is the question for which I have written this Personal statement .. its not a statement of purpose .. plz dont confuse it ..
Dec 28, 2011   #5
I like how it shows your passion for computer science.
You should mention more about how the university's program will help you. Also, colleges like people who are passionate about certain things but are also open to other possibilities. I wouldn't say "100% certain." Just a suggestion.

Otherwise, I think it was a good essay!

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