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Anesthesiologist Assistant Graduate Program; Personal Statement; motivation for career in healthcare

LorquetL007 1 / -  
Feb 12, 2021   #1

personal statement essay

Prompt: Please explain your motivation for selecting a career in healthcare and specifically why you are interested in becoming an anesthesiologist assistant. Describe how your personal and professional background will help you achieve your career goals and eminently suit you for this profession.

Hey, this is my first personal statement draft for this program I wish to apply to. Please let me know what are your thoughts any feedback is appreciated especially anything I should cut out since I'm a little over the 4500 character count. Thanks

Only eleven days had passed since my home country Haiti had celebrated its independence as one of the first revolutionary feats that occurred two centuries ago. On January 12th, 2010, that joyous spirit soon became clouded over by the smoke rising from the destructive earthquake that took place at Leogane, a city that was miles West from the capital, my home city, Port-au-Prince. Roughly the lives of 250,000 were lost and 1.5 million left homeless. I remember coming home late after school that same Tuesday still trying to adapt to the new life we had begun in Florida back in 2008. The door was scratched and dented with a deep brown varnish, it had a nickel-colored lock and loose doorknob that dulled with age. A bronze safety chain dangled when the door opened, a meaningless gesture in this neighborhood. I walked into a booming television and my parents glued to the couch with worried eyes as the news went on explaining the devastation that took place that ill-fated day. A great tremor overtook my mother as tears started rolling down her cheeks, she promptly got up and started contacting the closest members of my family to check if they're fine. Meanwhile, I stood there still, minutes went by but felt like hours while a sense of hopelessness slowly overtook me. Here I am, in the comfort of my own home while my family, friends, and neighbors were all suffering. I wanted to be there to help those in need, to provide some sort of relief. Soon after, I realized an interest in the medical field started to sprout within me.

After observing the volunteer emergency services for a few months, I decided to take action. The following year, I joined a health science program called HOSA (Health Occupations Students of America). This program gave aspiring students exposure to various parts of the medical field and provided technical skills like CPR, first aid, and AED to students. One quiet afternoon during our weekly rotations, my classmate and I made a stop at the intensive care unit to observe the nurses at the central computer station. A stream of harmonious colors lit the monitors up giving us a glimpse of each patient in the room. One of the patients we were monitoring was a twenty-year-old girl whose mother had frantically barged in. "Where is she?" She uttered to herself under her short breath while glancing left and right. The nurses sought to calm her down while leading her but to no avail. The attending physician walked in and calmly explained the situation and firmly reassured her that her daughter's procedure went well and she will make a smooth recovery. Despite my genuine curiosity about the patient's condition, at that moment, the interaction between the nurses, physician, and the patient's mother solidified that I made the right decision in pursuing a career in the medical field.

During college, things got significantly tougher for my family as Haiti's social, political, and economical status took a nosedive. I began to work to alleviate some of the financial burdens my family was experiencing. Despite the predicament that my home country was in, I would not let these setbacks stop me from reaching my goals. Over time, I began to realize the limitations of my scope of knowledge in science concerning what mattered, the patient. I began volunteering at a hospice facility working closely with a medical team to provide relief to patients. During one of my visits to a patient's home, I realized that my services didn't extend just to my patient but her family as well. I would go to her home late in the afternoon after work. Sometimes, but not always, I would arrive at a frantic daughter who would rush out to pick her kids up from school leaving her mother and me in the living room. The silence lingered in the air, thick and heavy, like a blanket. I knew I had two choices to keep her awake for the next few hours, either go for a walk or play her favorite game. I could tell she wanted to do the latter as her heavy eyes lit up when I mentioned the game, Uno. She gave me a firm nod and I slowly drew the cards knowing full well it would not change the outcome of the game. "Uno!" screamed her granddaughters rushing in to say hi to us. Their mother slowly walked in behind them whispering, "thank you." I kept my eyes on her and softly smiled as I turned to accept my loss. I was so immersed in the time I spent with her that I did not realize I was past my volunteer time. As I began to grab my things, the grandmother waved her hand signaling me to come closer. She grabbed my right wrist and firmly said, "thank you for all that you do for my family and me, you're a good man." As a volunteer, the greatest impact was being able to be there for the patients in my community at a very vulnerable time of their lives. These experiences opened my eyes to the level of care I wish to provide for my patients in the future and gave me the motivation I needed to continue towards my goal as an anesthesiologist assistant. Someday, I do hope the patients and their families can do me the honor of giving me their trust to provide them the relief and comfort that they deserve.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,301 3341  
Feb 13, 2021   #2
You have clearly explained why you want to pursue a career in healthcare. However, you have not made any reference as to how you developed an interest in anesthesiology and what sort of exposure you had in this field that has made you decide to become and anesthesiologist assistant. The essay has too much focus on explaining why you want to be in the healthcare field. It contains no reference to your career decision regarding anesthesiology. Therefore, the essay needs to be totally rewritten. This time use half the essay to explain your interest in the field, and the other half, should explain how you decided on this career path based on your exposure to people or events that required anesthesia to be applied to the patients. Fail to provide that explanation and this essay becomes incomplete and could end up being the reason you are rejected for admission.

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