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Anthropology statement of purpose "human rights and giving a voice"

tparisi 1 / 3  
Nov 25, 2011   #1
Hello All,

I am looking for any advice, corrections, insight and creativity that will elevate this essay from good to amazing! I have to explain the reason for my low GPA, but I'm not sure how to organize it into the essay. Any feedback would be most appreciated!

Human and Anthropology Research

Here is what I have:

My pursuit of a doctorate stems from a lifelong interest in giving a voice to those who have been silenced through violence or death. Over the course of my education, I have taken my passion and applied it to the study of skeletal biology so I may pursue a career where such individuals and populations can bear witness through their material remains. While in my education, I have maintained particular interest in skeletal biology, I have engaged in wide-ranging coursework to ensure that I remain a well-rounded, four-field anthropologist. In this way, I have developed an interest in pursuing research that incorporates theories of violence and human rights violations, so I may further explore the ways in which varying cultural processes develop and perpetuate an environment in which violence acts occur and made evident in human remains.

Upon entering the Masters program at George Washington University, I went through a severe depression, as a result of issues within my personal life. As a result, my first semester's grades suffered and I was placed on academic probation. Despite the issues that plagued me during my first term, I have significantly improved my grades and experience success in both the academic and public aspects of my anthropological work. An example is my participation in three field schools where I have had the opportunity to further relate theory to applied research. Beyond that, I have spent time with the Smithsonian's skeletal collections and will be utilizing them for my thesis, which focuses on institutional violence as evidenced both in written documentation and human remains.

I am eager to continue exploring my research interests in a PhD program, and I believe the research I have conducted, in addition to my training, provide me with a solid foundation to become a successful anthropologist. Being a student of the University of Florida would allow me to pursue examining the various ways in which an applied four-field approach may be utilized in historic and forensic cases of violence. While I look forward to taking courses with a number of professors within the department, considering my particular interests in human osteology, human rights and violence theory I would especially look forward to the opportunity to work with Michael Warren, Sharon Abramowitz or Clarence Gravlee, which would enable me to continue exploring the various ways that a four-field approach to human osteology may help us illuminate different facets of culture and behavior.

I whole-heartedly believe that anthropology has a unique opportunity to help the public understand complex issues and how informed people can have an impact on or effect meaningful change in their lives. With this in mind, after completion of my PhD, I intend to pursue a position in which I will have the opportunity to work both within the academic and public spheres. Such an arrangement would enable me to fulfill my two passions: to ask questions through learning and to help the living and dead be accounted for and receive a sense of closure after loss.

Exactly 500 words.

karan11295 5 / 42  
Nov 25, 2011   #2
experience success-experienced success
Provide me-provides me
on a quick reading i stumbled across these 2 errors but overall your essay is very well written.
Also when you tell about your depression, you use the phrase 'as a result' twice in 2 succesive sentences. It sounds a little akward so you might wanna reword it.
OP tparisi 1 / 3  
Nov 26, 2011   #3
Thank you so much! I went back and reworked it to flow a little better and also incorporate your corrections!

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