Hi, this is my second application essay. I would much appreciate it if you can provide any thoughts, tips, or corrections.
overcoming a challenge essay
Question: Describe the most difficult situation that you've encountered and explain how you handled it. Also, what lessons did you learn from the experience?
The most difficult challenge I have encountered as a leader is becoming the president of XXX. When I worked as a project manager for XXX, our workers respected and followed me because the company paid for them. Even if they did not like me, they had no choice.
XXX, on the other hand, is an organization that depends on the willingness of the members. No one in the club gets paid. It is the members who need to pay the bi-annual membership fees and club dues. Since the members and officers are not getting paid, there is no financial motivation for them to follow or respect me as their president.
Also, most of the members are older and way more successful than me. The oldest is a 61-year-old chemical engineer. As a struggling young entrepreneur in his 20s, the first thing that came into my mind when I was elected was, "How will I make these people respect and follow me."
I handled this difficult situation by implementing a simple strategy - listen but be decisive.
A few weeks after getting elected, I approached the senior members and asked for their advice on how to run the organization effectively. I did this because I genuinely needed guidance, but more importantly, I wanted to show them that I respected and valued their voice.
Also, I informed all the members that I was open to their suggestions and that they can approach me if they think that they have better solutions regarding the different challenges faced by the club. Most of the time, the advice that they gave were excellent. However, there were a few occasions when their ideas were impractical or illogical.
As a leader, I came up with the rule never to silence my members no matter how bad their ideas are. In a world where people prefer to talk, it can be refreshing to offer the gift of a silent mouth and open ears. By listening, I gained the affinity and trust of the members.
Though I am open to ideas and suggestions, I have made it explicitly clear to my members that I, as the president, have the final say. They can suggest, and I will carefully consider their suggestions, but it is I who will make the final decision.
For example, after getting elected, I immediately implemented the policy of starting the bi-monthly meetings strictly on time. Before becoming president, the meetings began 30 minutes to an hour late because we had to wait for the majority of the members to arrive. When I presented this policy to the club, I was met with resistance. Many members did not like the policy, citing several excuses such as traffic jams, hectic work schedules, bad weather, and the like. Having been exposed to the punctuality of the Japanese people, I was determined to start the meetings on time regardless of how many members were present.
For the first two months, the majority of the members would come in late. One senior member approached me and suggested that I should drop the policy since it did not produce any result. However, I was resolute in achieving my goal. I started to see results in the third month. Many members began to arrive early, including those who were known for being stubbornly late. Now, I am happy to stay that not only do we start on time but 90 percent of the club is no longer late. By being firm and decisive, I gained the respect of the members.
Becoming the president of XXX has taught me the valuable lesson that people respect and follow leaders who are firm and decisive, but at the same time, they want leaders who are willing to listen -- leaders who will appreciate and value their voice.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 The problem with your essay is that it is about an extra curricular activity. So there is a lack of professional setting in the narrative. It is very long, does not get to the point immediately, and does not showcase true professionalism, in relation to your job. The way that you handle pressure-cooker situations in an official setting is what this essay is looking for. Did you not notice that your presentation is too amateur in reference to the exact scenario of a difficult situation? Exercising your authority in a workplace is more impressive because it relates to your professional goals of study.
While the extracurricular activity is acceptable, it is not notable and does not truly test your mettle as a leader who is able to adapt to negative situations in relation to your actual career. Meaning, you are in a situation where there is a negative result for you in the event that you fail to control the situation. That does not exist in an extracurricular setting. You won't decline to renew the membership of paying members, your club will cease to exist if enough of them decide to quit. That is the worst case scenario for your leadership in this instance. No big deal.
If you fail in a work setting, then you face an actual consequence. Missing out on a promotion, getting a demotion, worse, getting released from your job. All because you failed to properly handle the difficult situation. Real consequences for a real life work setting. How you managed to succeed in the face of life changing failure in your profession is what the reviewer should be impressed by in your presentation.
My advice is to write a more direct to the point essay that focuses on a work related difficult situation to create a more relevant essay that highlights your actual work leadership skills.
