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Applying for International Business, Entrepreneurship and SME Management program (Maastricht)


urgent123 1 / 1  
May 30, 2015   #1
Hello,

first of all, I am terrible at writing.. It is something I just suck at. I am also short on time since I have to work next 3 days and my time management failed(yeah i know i am very responsible). I would kindly ask anyone to help me fix any grammatical or content errors/mistakes. I am applying for International Business, Entrepreneurship and SME Management program(Maastricht university). Thanks a million.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am hereby applying for MSc in International Business, Entrepreneurship and SME Management program.

I am from the capital city of Slovakia, Bratislava. My father has German heritage and exposed me to German at the very young age. I think becoming bilingual at the very young age made interested in languages. In school, I became conversant with Spanish and English languages and I was particularly interested in becoming fluent in English due its importance (and obvious necessity) in international arena. My father is an entrepreneur and I think this motivated me in pursuing career in business from a very young age.

It has always been my dream to study abroad. Due to family issues I was not able to leave my family and study where I wanted. After my high school graduation I enrolled in the best and closest possible program taught in English. I applied in all business related universities in Slovakia and chose the highest ranked. I enrolled in International Management program at Comenius University. I am now able to leave and study at the university I want without any possible future distractions.

Year ago, I finished my bachelor in International Management at Comenius university. Being free from studying I could focus more on work and invest time in developing my own start up. I worked as an executive assistant during my studies at Comenius, as this work allowed me just enough time to study. I acquired useful skills in business administration and the possibility to practice the information learned at the University. As an executive assistant I was essentially managing 1-2 employees and therefore training my management skills. I work for a scrap-metal trading company and my job also consisted of traveling to Czech Republic, Austria, Hungary and other close neighbors of Slovakia for business trips. I think these business trips in a way compensated for the inability to study internationally. I have experience working with SME's and also large international companies like US Steel. Having actual working experience with international companies is something I can contribute to other fellows in the program.

In the future I would like to work for a company for a couple years while developing my own projects.
While choosing my career during high school I deeply considered becoming an engineer. During my mid-teenage years I became increasingly interested in physics, programing and engineering. My thinking at the time was to study business and self study these subjects. I would say that physics was most helpful for my work and studying. I found that a lot of principles and forms of thinking from physics could be harnessed in business. For example working from first principles is something I always use when facing tough and complex problems. I am now more focused on programming as it a good tool for creating a company without substantial capital.

A very obvious reason why Maastricht University is a right choice for me is its internationality. UM is very internationally oriented, making it the perfect place to start an international business career. The university has high percentage of international students. I would love to be among international students because it is a great possibility to broaden my horizons and get in touch with people on international scale. This I see as a clear advantage in pursuing my career goal to become an entrepreneur. Another good reason for me to join the UM is its high standard of education. UM is highly ranked, and this attracts top professors as well as top students. In addition, the wide range of top partner universities and student networks offers more possibilities for better education. The reason why I chose International Business, Entrepreneurship and SME Management program is that it allows me to take course in strategy, organization, marketing, finance and accounting, all highly important when starting a business. I expect of this program improve my managerial skills and furthermore help me in starting my own business.

All this distinguishes UM from other universities and is making my choice clear. I want to study at UM. Thank you for considering my application. I would be very pleased to be granted admission for the fall term.

Sincerely yours,
My name
Stacy Handayani 29 / 16 19  
May 30, 2015   #2
Hi Urgent123, I have some corrections for your 1st paragraph. Hope it helps you :)

I am from the capital city of Slovakia, Bratislava. My father has German heritage and (...)

I come from Bratislava, the capital city of Slovakia. My father was influenced much by Germany culture and he started introducing it to me since I was young. I tend to argue that mastering bilingual skill at the very young age leads me to an interest in languages . In school, I start to speak in Spanish and English and I particularly interest in improving my English due its importance (and obvious necessity) in globalisation era. Besides, I have a big intention to take a career in business since my father is an entrepreneur, so I believe that English may be usefull in my future career.
OP urgent123 1 / 1  
May 31, 2015   #3
Germean culture(not germany culture)..started.. and many other mistakes... Wth?

NOT HELPFULL AT ALL
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
May 31, 2015   #4
I hope these changes will be helpful to you. They are in order by paragraph.

1st paragraph: Change "the" to, "a" when you describe being exposed to German and becoming bilingual. I think you should describe learning Spanish and English, I think you should change part of this sentence to: "due to its importance and necessity in international affairs". Place "a" before career.

2nd paragraph: Place a comma after issues and graduation in this paragraph. The last sentence I would delete "leave and".

3rd paragraph: You should state when you received your bachelors. For example, if someone wanted to apply for a master's program, they could begin by stating: Many years ago or give a specific time frame such as, "Three years go, I graduated with a bachelor's degree" Place a comma after studying. Place a period after Comenius. Start a new sentence using, "This". Don't capitalize university. Place a comma after assistant. Since you were acquiring the skills in management, you should state: "...and developing my management skills." Change part of this sentence to: "I also worked for a scrap-metal trading company and my job consisted of traveling to the..." I would change part of the next sentence to: "...substituted for my inability..."

The next sentence you can revise it to state: "...the SME..."

4th paragraph: Place a comma after school. Delete mid before teenage and place a comma after years. There is a misspelling of programming. Place a comma after example. The last sentence, change part of the sentence to: ...programming, because it is a good..."

5th paragraph: The first sentence needs to be changed. I'm not sure if you like this university because of its international affairs program. Don't start the sentence with a very obvious reason. You can use a transition word. Ex: However, the reason... Place "a" before high. Change to: "...there is a greater possibility...on an international scale". Place a comma after UM. Place "the" before SME and make course plural by adding -s to the end. Change this sentence to: "I expect this program..."


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