PS applying for MSc Accounting and Corporate Governance (MSPACG)

Hi everyone, I'm applying for a MSc in Professional Accounting and Corporate Governance (MSPACG) and the admission require a PS submitted along with my apllication. I tried to compose one but still wish to see if my essay could be revised or polished. Any suggestions welcomed, thank you!

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[Requirements]

Please confine your statement tono more than 300 words.The content of your statement should explain why you wish to study the programme and how the qualification is relevant to your career aspirations, as well as your expectation of the programme. If applicable, provide other information (e.g. work experience, non-academic achievements, community services) that you think is relevant to the assessment of your application.

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accounting background

Personally, enhancing my accounting background is the major purpose of my application. Graduated with a language and literature degree, I started my career in DTT. After days and nights on the engagements, I realized that accounting is another language that we use to communicate with investors, customers, managements and regulators. The business world is fancy, yet my accounting knowledge from on-job training and exposures are scattered. I need an opportunity to link those dots and see a greater picture, a step forward from know-how to know-why. Hence, after a 15-month experience as an auditor in the industry, I decided to receive a systematic education about accounting in HK, and I think the MSPACG program is the opportunity I've been looking for.

The City U is a leading university located in the center of Hong Kong which enjoys a good academic reputation around the world. Also, The MSPACG program is well-structured to fulfill my demand. Not only will this programme provide me a solid foundation in business-related field, from corporate governance to quantitative decision making, but also a clear entrance towards the QP of HKICPA. With the help of its intermediate award, I can register as a QP student before I graduate from the city U, so that I can study and discuss with my classmates as well as my tutors during my voyage to the qualification. Such a helpful learning environment will benefit me a lot.

After the programme, I would like to go on pursuing my career in the IB industry. Equipped with the updated accounting knowledge and the professional qualification, I will be capable to compete for a front office position in an investment organization. As the financial market thrives in mainland China, the learning experience in the City U will help me to secure more opportunities than I could now.

Thus, I sincerely apply to the MSPACG program in the City University of Hong Kong. My CV is attached and you can review my working experience there. If you need any more information, please don't be hesitated to contact me. Thank you.

David, your essay is direct to the point, informative, but not memorable. It does not contain any memorable elements that can help the reviewer understand how you can excel as a student in this program. The relevance of the MS program to your future career is not even touched upon in this essay even though you mention the "know how to know why". Why do you need to know this information? Aside from creating a professional network as a student, I don't really get how you plan to use this education in your future career. That is actually the point of this essay. For the reviewer to come to an understanding as to how your academic aspiration will directly relate to your career progression. The reference to your career progression was cut short mostly because you wasted space in paragraph 2 by explaining information about the university. That is unnecessary. Ask yourself, why do you have to explain to the university reviewer, about information regarding the academic institution that he works for? It doesn't make any sense. Delete those references and instead, push the word count towards a more solid and informed discussion regarding your future career as it relates to this academic endeavor you wish to embark on.