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Banking Sector - How will the proposed study contribute to your career*? Australia Award.

Lenabouillot 1 / 2  
Mar 26, 2020   #1
Hello everyone, I am applying for the Australia Award intake 2021, please kindly review my opinion, please be free to share your ideas and experience! Thank you.

- If I have received what I expected and completed my master, I intend to join to work in a Banking Sector in the position as the credit analyst because in my current position I have been working as a legal officer which is related to the NPL recovery, I have seen that we should solve the NPL from the main issue which is the credit analysis, if the analysis is strong, a bank will not increase the NPL in each year.

- NPL is Non-performing Loan, it is the bad debt which a debtor could not be able to repay to a bank more than 1 year, which it has a bad effect to a bank and the Laos's economy especally in Banking and Finance sector, if there is a commercial bank in Laos has become bankruptcy, it can reduce the trust from many citizens and the international organization and it also means that country has a weak financial management.

- Reduce NPL has a good effect to a bank and the Laos's Economy, because if a bank can avoid the increasing of NPL as much as it can, a bank will become the main financial tool for the government to develop the country such as a fund providing in investment, SMEs and others...

- After a few years, I would like to join to work at the World Bank in order to help them to develop the Lao PDR, the World Bank always considered the fund providing to the big project in Laos, it will be my next challenge for my future career and I want to be the part to build the civilization in the country and to make the next generations receive more opportunities.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,519 3442  
Mar 26, 2020   #2
The 2 middle sections of your presentation are irrelevant to the discussion of your career. Only the first and last information outlines are relevant to the discussion. So you should approach the essay from the point of view of your current employment position.

Par. 1: Explain what your current position is and what the next step in the promotional ladder is.
Par. 2: Indicate your career plan and how it relates to the masters course you will be completing.
Par. 3: Now, consider that you have completed the course, explain in detail how you plan to begin using your new knowledge on the job.
Par. 4: Be specific about where you plan to work, and how your knowledge will help make you a good candidate for the job.

There is no need to add more information other than the specifics I have presented above. The middle part is irrelevant because you are lecturing the reviewer instead of responding to the information requirements. That is why I want you to remove those portions from the presentation.
OP Lenabouillot 1 / 2  
Mar 26, 2020   #3

Thank you! I will amend it

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