Hi please help me with my statement of purpose
Course applying for is business law
Mine is 1500+ words but they only allow 1000 so i would like suggestions on how to make it more concrete.
They want to know the reason for seeking admission and future plan
But i think i failed to answer question:( this is really important and i appreciate all the help:)
Feel free to fix (or add) it as much as you want!
Thank you thank you!
When I decided to leave the comfort of my home to study in New Zealand, I knew my life would change dramatically. I knew it would not be easy but I never know it would be that hard. I who always sleep in my own bed in my own room in my own house now became a boarder. Sharing rooms, bathroom, kitchen and computers with 50 other girls in my boarding house. Even the easiest task seems difficult at a time. I didn't know the way to dining hall, I got lost on the way to class and I was too shy to ask questions. But everything started to get better because of help from Anna; an exchange student from Germany. As she arrived before me and was more familiar with the school she assisted me with everything. Because of her caring friendship I slowly become adapted to the new environment. When Anna returned back to Germany, I promised myself that I will be like Anna. She taught me that one act of kindness can make a huge impact on someone else's life. She inspired me to help others. I learned to be adaptive and independent and I wanted other new student to be able to do the same. Thus I decided to join the International Peer Support program (IPS) to mentor numerous new international students from around the globe such as China, Japan and Fiji. This program gave me the experience to embrace and respect various culture differences.
During my experience as an international student in a foreign country I learned to appreciate diversity and acquired cross-cultural adaptation. I had to adjust not only to New Zealand's culture but also to other Asian cultures as well. As my St Peter's school has over 40 international students from more than 7 countries, I gained my interest in international relations. It intrigues me to see the paths intersection between all the difference cultures. Although I am Buddhist, the school still required me to attend Anglican chapel every Wednesday. I first felt uncomfortable but I soon started to embrace their beliefs without forgetting my Buddhist roots. Because of the interesting cultural diversity I experienced during my past 3 years in New Zealand, I now have strong interests to work in ASEAN or international community.
Initially I thought that Thailand was a well-known country but I was wrong. Many of my friends were confused of "Taiwan and Thailand" while some only heard of Thailand from either the Hollywood movie "Hangover 2" or Pad thai. The fact that my Kiwi friends learn Japanese, listen to Korean pop and watch Chinese movies but know so little about Thailand saddened me and urged me to make Thailand more known, at least at my school. This is the reason I initiated in the 2013 cultural assembly. My Thai friends and I had to work together to not only come up with a performance but also to make the outfits while juggling our busy academic schedules. This experience improved my communication skills as I had to elaborate the show ideas to my teachers and peers. I also learned to works with others from all different ages. I listened to all ideas and suggestions as I wanted the performance to demonstrate the best of Thailand.
Despite initial struggles adapting to new language and culture, my hard work and perseverance improved my English and I eventually I received the school's end of year awards for top student in English class (in both 2012, 2013) and was awarded with a Scholar's tie for outstanding academic results in year 11 (GPA 75%+). These awards prove that nothing is impossible if I am diligent and strive to work hard. I was proud of my success not just because it shows my academic abilities but also because I make my parents proud. My parents are my motivation to be successful.
During year 10 to 12 my study choices have been physics biology and chemistry. I enjoy the sciences since they are straight forward subjects that involve reasoning and have a clear line between correct and incorrect answers. However although I like sciences, I do not find them as what I want to do for the rest of my life. One day my English teacher introduced me to a book called 'The Road of Lost Innocence' written by Somaly Mam. I was immediately engulfed by it. The book is about her terrible early life as a victim of sex trafficking in Cambodia. She was tortured, raped and sold into prostitution. Today she is known as a human right activist who gained the world's awareness about sex trafficking. The book an eye opening to me and it sickened me to know about the ruthlessness right under my nose. The book mentioned not only Cambodia but also other countries in Asia including Thailand. I was traumatized that such horrible cruelties still exist in Thailand and Asia and was also enthused by Mam's courage. She has saved countless lives. She is my inspiration to pursue my knowledge in law to enable me to stop the injustices many Thais have endured and to assist in bringing justice to society. Personally I enjoy meeting, reasoning and interacting with people from different backgrounds. This is why I am applying for admission to the Bachelor of Laws International Program in Business Law at Thammasat University as I feel that it utilizes a combination of both logic and communication skills to interact with people and requires rational law knowledge.
Not one to limit my studies in classrooms,
in year12 I attended a leadership camp where I was able to develop my leadership, problem-solving and organisational skills. I was challenged with the activities and had chance to step up as a leader in group activities such as the 6 hours run where each member had to take turns running designated distances. It did not only require physical strength but also involved planning the rounds to suit each individual member while keeping team members motivated. This task allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and take charge. I listened to my peer's suggestions and together we came up with a plan that most suited us. The plan changed slightly after first half an hour but overall the race was a success. This experience emphasized my belief in the importance of team spirit, enhanced my ability to compromise with others and to work under pressure which are essential qualities.
I participated in various school sports and activities such as swimming, athletic sports, cross country and all house challenges. I joined the touch rugby girl team. I was new to this sport but I quickly become equipped. Joining this team I became more disciplined under the intense training schedule and competitions while learning to respect both my team mates and the opponent. I learned to accept losing and more importantly to play by the rules, which is the heart of law. In order to play the game well, one must understand the rules thoroughly and make sure all team mates follow them. This reinforces my interest of pursuing law as a future occupation.
Having the opportunity to be
a Thai student in New Zealand, I developed not only my academics but also many other valuable life skills which are important to succeed in university levels.
I strongly believe that I am well prepared to take on a new challenge at Thammasat University where I am determined to contribute to class discussions, join student organizations and build relationships with faculty, staff and peers.
More specifically, I am interested in the Bachelor of Laws program in Business Law, Thammasat University- the first international program offering this degree in Thailand. I would feel very fortunate to learn with many notable professors in this program where I will be able to build a solid understanding of the legal system and how it impacts on business, international trade and commercial transactions.
Currently as I am still young and inexperienced, I have many interests and no concrete career plan. However, my immediate goals are to gain the most unique academic experience, make new friends and share my insights as part of the Thammasat community.
My medium term goals are to pursue a career in business law. My career interests as a law graduate are broad including; a university teaching position which I can elaborate my knowledge with the new generation, consultant either in Government Regulatory Agencies or Non-Government Organizations and joining a law firm as a business lawyer.
My long term goal is to be a good representative alumnus to the first batch of LL.B. (Business Law) Thammasat University possibly through obtaining global legal qualifications and credentials that may benefit Thailand in ASEAN globalization.
Thus, Thammasat Bachelor of Laws international program is my top choice. If granted admission, I am positive that my determination to succeed in my career ambitions will guide me to use the knowledge gained from the program to add value to myself and my country as a Thammasat law student graduate.
1533 words
its really big, and super wordy, by the time i got to the middle i was pretty bored, you should focus on a certain subject rather than jumping into different topics, and maximum is 1000 right ? so u should not even right that much. and it has so many numbers, focus more on personality. It looks like a story you wrote to your new friend that you found on some "friendship" website...
and its really standard answer. I wont say I can write better but you still should add better hook and more creativity.
Good luck :)
