"My career goals" - Motivation Letter for Master in Economics

Ok, so this is my motivation letter for a german university. Can you please comment mostly the structure, the flow and also how interesting it is? Grammar expressions might be changed slightly so any interventions are also wellcome. Thank you in advance everybody :)

Dear Sir or Madame,
I am an undergraduate student in the Department of xxx of the University xxx, from where I am expected to graduate at August 2011, with the note "very good". I wish to continue my studies and pursue a Master's degree in Economics with a further specialisation on the field of Applied Microeconomics.

During the semester that I studied at Berlin, through an Erasmus Exchange Programme scholarship and afterwards being on the Board of "Erasmus Student Network" in Athens I learned how to communicate well in a multicultural environment and cooperate with other students being also able to lead projects. Moreover having already studied in a german university and with my excellent knowledge of the german language it will be easy for me to integrate fast in my new environment and be dedicated to the Master Programme's needs.

During my internship at the Institute of International Economic Relations in Athens I had the opportunity to research and write reports on the topic of Greek public debt. This way I got acquainted with public economics, a matter that I think is extremely important not only for the states but also for the future of European Union as a whole.

Another topic of Applied Microeconomics that really interests me is Industrial Organisation. I have followed all courses regarding this topic with one of them in Berlin (Spieltheorie, Note 2). Of course the xxx University is Ideal for this specialisation not only for the renowned research centers (such as the xxx),but also because of it's location since (city) is the Capital of Industry in Europe.

What is also important is the international environment that this Programme provides. One of the best ways for students to learn is through one another and people that come from different cultures, having also different experiences and perspectives are ideal for that. This is also a way that I will be able to contribute to this Programme, exchanging knowledge and experiences with other peers. What is more being an elected Students' representative from 2007-2009 it helped me develop my social skills and also gave me the opportunity to mediate between students and professors in order to play a small role at the improvement of the level of studies in my university.

I look forward to your reply with no doubt that studying in your department will give me the opportunities and prerequisites needed to achieve my career goals.

Sincerely yours,
C.G

Hi,

For me, the letter for motivation asks either/all of these questions: (1) What's your motivation for pursuing graduate studies? (2) Why economics? (3) Why at this programme at this institution ?

You've answered number 3, which according to the essay is the international environment that the programme provides.

I can't really see your answers in numbers 1 and 2. For the most part of your essay, you've highlighted your experience & qualifications but no motivation, atleast from my point of view.

You've mentioned that studying there will give you the opportunities and prerequisites needed to achieve your career goals. That's a motivation. Expound on it. What are your career goals? What's your immediate and 5-year career plan? How will the economics/graduate studies/instituion help you on your career goal?

You've mentioned that Public Economics is important for the future of the European Union. Is that partly why you're motivated to study economics? To help out your country and the EU?

Cheers. All the best to us. I'm also in the process of applying for an MSc in Economics.

Probably you are right. I spent too much of this letter in showing what I am good at and not what this master will offer to me.

I changged my motivation letter a bit.
I know that it is boring but can you check it out and tell me if you find it better?
Thanks and good luck with you admission!

Motivation letter

Dear Sir or Madame,
I am currently an undergraduate student in the Department xxx, from where I am expected to graduate at August 2011, with the note "very good". I wish to continue my studies and pursue a Master's degree in Economics with a further specialisation on the field of Applied Economics.

During the semester that I studied at Freie Universität Berlin, through an Erasmus Programme scholarship and afterwards being on the Board of "Erasmus Student Network" in Athens I developed my communication skills within a multicultural environment and cooperated with other students, being also able to lead research groups. Moreover having already studied in a german university and with my excellent knowledge of the german language it will be easy for me to integrate fast in my new environment and be completely dedicated to the Master Programme's needs.

Being an intern at the Institute of International Economic Relations in Athens gave me the opportunity to research and write reports on the topic of Greek public debt. This way I improved my critical thinking and analytical skills. What is more, I got acquainted with public economics, a matter that I think is extremely important not only for the countries but also for the future of European Union as a whole. At this time it was clear to me that I wanted to specialise in applied Economics and therefor have the opportunity to understand more about the structure of the modern economies.

Another topic of Applied Microeconomics that I am really interested in is Industrial Organisation. I have followed all courses regarding this topic with one of them in Berlin (Spieltheorie, Grade 2). My goal after my graduate studies is to pursue a career within a European Union's institution, preferably at the Competition Policy department. Of course the University is ideal for this not only for it's renowned research centers (such as the Centre for Economic Studies),but also because of it's location since this ci tyis the Industrial capital of Europe.

Another important advantage, is the international environment that this Programme provides. One of the best ways for students to learn is through one another and people that come from different cultures, having also different experiences and perspectives are ideal for that. This is also a way that I will be able to contribute to this Master's Programme, exchanging knowledge and experiences with other peers. In addition; being an elected Students' representative from 2007 till 2009 helped me enhance my social skills and gave me the opportunity to mediate between students and the department faculty in order to play a small role at the improvement of the level of studies in my university.

I look forward to your favourable reply with no doubt that studying in your department will give me the opportunities and prerequisites needed to achieve my goals.

Yours faithfully.

Capitalize German in that first letter. Also, give it an interesting theme. What is the unique thing about your outlook on the field of econ? What is unique about what you want to accomplish?

Do you know what I mean? In the intro you just announced your field of choice, but you also need to introduce some word, some term, some concept that can be the THEME of the essay and burn into the reader's memory.


No need for a comma in a situation like this. Take out that comma...

Try this strategy: Think of 3 ideas you want to make sure the reader remembers after finishing the essay. Write those three ideas in 3 eloquent sentences. Make each of those 3 sentences the topic sentence for one of the body paragraphs of the essay.

(The topic sentence is the first sentence of the paragraph.)
Try to make sure each paragraph topic sentence is clear, meaningful, and complete.
Another important advantage, is the international environment that this Programme provides. ----This sentence expresses something simple. It is a paragraph topic sentence, though, so it should express something interesting, an interesting idea.

:-)