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CASPA Application Personal Narrative - career in sports medicine, physician assistant


atckel 1 / -  
Jun 28, 2011   #1
Instructions for this narrative are as follows: please describe your motivation towards becoming a PA. There is a 5000 character limit including spaces, carriage returns, numbers, letters, etc. The essay below is currently at 3,105 characters. Thank you for your help!

Compassion and a strong work ethic were instilled into me from a young age. I spent most of my formative years helping out with my dad's business, helping my grandparents with chores at their home, or helping my mom at home. Being raised in the country, on the grounds of the regional airport that my dad continues to run today, helped me to stay grounded. If I wanted something, I had to work for it. This formulated my sense of determination.

The determination that is such an ingrained part of who I am helped me to find the strength to finally do something about my obesity. While putting myself back through school to take the prerequisites required for application to PA school, as well as working full time, I have managed to lose a significant amount of weight. I've applied myself in the classroom, in my career, as well as in my personal life to get what I want as well as to improve my health.

I had several issues as a child that required medical attention, but my first truly influential experience with health care came when I was eight years old and was involved in a major motor vehicle accident with my mother. She and I were traveling home when we hit a flatbed semi that had been parked across a highway without it's running lights on. My father and siblings were following behind in another car. My father had to pull me from that car, but leave my mother behind. I was hospitalized and treated locally, but my mother had to be extricated and flown from my hometown in Iowa to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Over the next two years, I witnessed how health care truly works both in my own treatment for my minor injuries, to her sixty-seven surgeries for major orthopedic injuries. This sparked my intrigue with health care.

Over the years in playing sports, I sustained multiple injuries personally as well as witnessing my fellow athletes sustaining their own. I wanted to know more about the injury and healing processes. My determination, drive, and curiosity led me to my current field of athletic training. Over the past ten years as a practicing athletic trainer, I've seen numerous injuries and illnesses and have always strived to advance my knowledge through reading as well as utilizing my resources in clinic by speaking to physicians and physician assistants. My experiences with physician assistants didn't come until I accepted my current position with Mayo Clinic's Sports Medicine Center. I had been aware of, and curious about the profession prior to that, but I hadn't been in a position to learn more. In my time with Mayo Clinic, I've had the opportunity to learn more about these critically important professionals.

I've developed a desire to continue my career in sports medicine. I truly enjoy seeing this population in clinic as well as out on the field, but I want the ability to be able to have the resources to be able to help them more than I can do now. My current profession and scope of practice limit my ability to do so. I don't have the resources on the field that I would in the clinic. I would also like to work with a wider age population than I work with now. I've had the opportunity to work in a physician extender role in clinic, which has given me valuable clinical evaluation skills that have enhanced my proficiency as an athletic trainer.

I have also taken on research responsibilities in my department. I am a co-investigator on several studies, as well as the primary investigator on a concussion testing research study. Research is of strong interest to me. I wish to continue doing this as a physician assistant.
ershad193 14 / 333 5  
Jun 28, 2011   #2
You need a better transition between the first two paragraphs. Right now it seems you are talking about two different things in those two paras.

I feel that if you somehow merge the second paragraph with the third one, it would give you a better start -- just a suggestion though

You repeat this phrase a few times:- "to learn more"
It would be better if you specify what you wanted to learn; like you mention sports medicine in the subsequent paragraph.

Your writing is pretty good.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jun 30, 2011   #3
That first paragraph is very good. I guess I sort of wish it made some mention of what you want, what motivates you now. I wish your current aspiration was inseparable from that background...

You miss an opportunity if you do not mention some recent research studies that help to express your ideas in that obesity paragraph.

I've developed a desire to continue my career in sports medicine.---Boring sentence! No boring sentences allowed in this exclusive club! I'm sorry, but your friend has to go. Will somebody please show this boring sentence to the door? We don't like your kind around here.

Er, just playing; I am over-caffeinated. But yeah, express the message of that boring sentence in a way that carries a colorful concept, in a way that enchants the reader.

:-)
sarahluby88 1 / 1  
Jul 7, 2011   #4
I feel like the obsesity paragraph seems a little out of place. I understand it shows your determination but I think I would omit it if I were you or elaborate a little. Just a small suggestion.

I would also elaborate a lot more on why you want to become a physician assistant. I am a little confused, do you want to continue your education in sports medicine or physician assistant? You should clarify a bit more.

I like the examples you include about the sports injuries and accident, it gives a good basis for your interest in the medical field.

good luck! :)


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