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CASPA Narrative - "hard work, patience, dedication and the enormous compassion"


BlueMountain213 1 / 1  
Jun 23, 2013   #1
Hi, I am applying to PA schools soon and want my CASPA narrative critiqued. (It's 4,953 characters long!) I greatly appreciate it!

Essay Prompt:
Write a brief statement expressing your motivation or desire to become a physician assistant. Your statement must be written in your own words and may not exceed 5,000 characters (not words).

Growing up, I came from a family that valued hard-working as the boon for success. My parents always told me that we needed to work hard to succeed in this country. I totally agree with them since I remember what Einstein said: "Success depends on hard-work 99% and intelligence 1%." The role of a PA perfectly reflects this: hard work, patience, dedication and the enormous compassion in lending a helping hand to combat disease and ease the pain of the mankind. As I witness from clinical experience, I was astonished when I saw the meticulous care of doctors and PAs in saving and providing their best quality care in patients' lives. The skills and dedication of these professionals in an extreme pressure environment deeply influenced me. For years, I have had a strong desire to become a PA; thus, I feel that I am prepared with these necessary skills and motivations.

During my childhood, a nearly tragic family incident was a major contributing factor in my decision to consider medicine. My oldest sister was in a severe car accident. At the scene, she sustained critical injuries such as a broken left arm, a deep laceration to the abdomen, and pieces of shattered glass in the eyes, all of which required intensive surgery. She was brought to a hospital in Westchester County, NY, where she had multiple surgeries. With their hard-work and dedication under extreme pressure, the doctors and PAs saved her; otherwise she would not be living today.

In the summer before my senior year at my undergraduate college, I volunteered at the ER of St. Francis Hospital in Poughkeepsie, NY. This endeavor exposed me to medicine well as the function of PAs. At this institution, I helped patients when they needed it and used machines to check their vital signs. Watching them, particularly PAs, work so quickly and efficiently fascinated me. Sights of lives being saved intrigued me the most. Here, the PAs were truly compassionate. They did an excellent job in stabilizing the patients and reassured that they were fine. These PAs also had time to allow volunteers, including myself, to observe and learn from their work, including history taking. Here, I was able to get first-hand observation of the PAs' work at the ER.

Currently, I work as a volunteer physician's assistant for a full-time Cardiologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan, NY. My daily responsibilities are to see patients, conduct histories and physical exams, speak to residents, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, write an interim note on the patients, discuss updates, and do rounds. My supervising physician is noteworthy for spending time with patients and reassuring them by giving advice on necessary medications, procedures, and lifestyle modifications. We often encounter patients who are lacking in care or do not have a primary care physician. In light of this, we do our best to address their medical and psychosocial needs, thus treating the patient holistically. After a while, I developed a bond with these patients and they appreciated my support. Therefore, I attained much invaluable experience dealing with patients, and learned how to care accordingly. Altogether, the clinical experience helped me maintain my clinical skills.

The PA field has several aspects that are quite appealing to me. In this exciting career, PAs are very well-rounded and have the opportunities to work in all areas of medicine. They are an important part of the patient care treatment team in assisting physicians to serve patients and their kin their needs. I admire PAs who spend more time with patients and families of all ages and background. This gives patients more personal attention, which further establishes long-term rapport and trust. Hence, PAs reinforce the continuity of comprehensive patient care.

Along my desire to care for patients, I have research background in non-invasive research modalities for measuring endothelial function. These intriguing methods would provide a simple and innovative method of assessing human physiology to determine treatment strategies for future patients.

In today's multicultural society, my philosophy is to assist people of various backgrounds to have a better living. There are many patients in destitute and pain. Because of that, there is almost always a high demand for not only doctors, but also PAs. From my past clinical experiences, I developed empathy and understanding to address the patients' problems. As a future PA, I will treat people of all races with respect and fairness. Thus, I have compassion for lending a helping hand to anyone in need. For me, the medical profession had touched human life in a very special way, by providing hope in easing the suffering of mankind. With my passion in medicine, I will work diligently in the fight to help doctors cure diseases and illnesses in order to alleviate pain and suffering. Overall, PAs possess very special characteristics and behaviors that reflect sensitivity to human needs, regardless of race and status.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 23, 2013   #2
Growing up, I came from a family that valued hard-working as the boon for success.

I come from a family that beleves in hardworking as the key to success.

. My parents always told me that we needed to work hard to succeed in this country. I totally agree with them since I remember what Einstein said: "Success depends on hard-work 99% and intelligence 1%."

....this sounds redundand because the same idea is expressed in the previous line. Also, I feel it is not prudent to assign such low % for intelligence and that might work against you. Say it differently;

I too share this family perception and think hardworking contributes 99% towards one's success.
Pre_PA_MPH 3 / 8 1  
Jun 27, 2013   #3
Hi! I too am applying to PA school. I have a few questions about the content of your essay that I think will help you to revise it.

Currently, I work as a volunteer physician's assistant for a full-time Cardiologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan, NY.

First things first. It is not physician's assistant. It is physician assistant. Also, once you say it at the start of your essay you can say "physician assistant (PA)" then refer to it as PA for the remainder of your essay if you are tight on space. What I'm more concerned about it that this sentence makes it sound like you are already a PA. Is your job title actually medical assistant or something different?

I like that you say a little bit about what PAs do- but be careful saying flat out that they spend more time with patients than other professions. It's true that in many medical fields PAs spend more time educating patients than MDs do but not always. I've seen situations where PAs barely talk to patients and only assist them in filling out medical forms and signing consents for surgery while the MD explains everything. Just something to be wary of.

Anyways best of luck with CASPA and PA school! Hope this helps some!
OP BlueMountain213 1 / 1  
Jun 27, 2013   #4
What I'm more concerned about it that this sentence makes it sound like you are already a PA. Is your job title actually medical assistant or something different?

Something different... My position at the hospital is to be the cardiologist's assistant who takes the history & physical, follow patients, collect lab data, do interim notes, and etc, and does all these as part of clinical experience. And I'm a FMG who is going for PA school. Perhaps, it would be better to phrase my position as the assistant to the cardiology physician ?

To those who provided input, thanks!


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