I have to write a short (1 page) statement of purpose.
The 2nd and final paragraphs are giving me a lot of trouble. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
My interest in Chemical Engineering began as a fascination with all sciences in grade school. Generally doing well in all subjects, I graduated salutatorian of my high school class and started college at the University of XXXX not knowing exactly what field I wanted to study. After my first year of studies and taking chemistry, physics, calculus, and a few basic engineering classes, I knew that Chemical Engineering was an exciting field that I wanted to be a part of. Now, I wish to study at a more advanced level in order to become a better, more knowledgeable practicing Chemical Engineer.
I wish to become a student at the University of XXXX because the great reputation the University has for its engineering schools. The University of XXXX is well known and respected, and the Master of Chemical Engineering program would be a great opportunity for me to increase my technical skills while also working.
I received my bachelor's degree at the University of XXXX in 2006. While I was there, I completed an internship at XXXX and two Co-Op terms with XXXX. During the internship at XXXXI mapped out then monitored the process streams entering and leaving paper machines to identify material losses. I also helped with a number of trials that monitored chemical levels and their effect on the final product. As a Co-Op at XXXX, I worked on a number of projects to decrease material losses, increase production rate, and decrease utility usage.
After graduation, I began work at XXXX as a process safety consultant. While there, I gained much valuable knowledge of refinery and chemical plant processes while studying their PFDs, P&IDs, and process simulations to identify and analyze potential overpressure scenarios. I now work for a smaller catalyst processing plant called XXXX as a plant engineer. Due to the smaller size, I have had the great opportunity to work on many different types of projects. Being in charge of the regeneration of catalyst, I have studied our process and worked with the operators to identify bottle necks, inefficiencies, and opportunities for equipment improvement. In doing so, I have helped decrease our natural gas usage, increase our regeneration capacity by 25%, and increase our XXXX process capacity by 50%. I was also put in charge of a $550,000 capital project which involved installing a new drier unit.
I would very much like the opportunity to study at the University of XXXX to improve my process control and plant design abilities. Thank you for reviewing my application.
My interest in Chemical Engineering began as a fascination with all sciences in grade school. Generally doing well in all subjects,
This part is a weak start. However, your essay is great! Seriously. It is well-written, and the accomplishments are great. I think you should start this essay by mentioning something specific and meaningful that motivates you to want to study process control and plant design. As a person uninterested in that, I don't know what it is that motivates you. Can you connect it somehow with your philosophical convictions? Your family? Use the first line to introduce your interest in chemical engineering in a way that makes it
personal.
I see no errors. You write very well. Now, I think you should peer into the future and see how to add detail about why this course of study is right for your life and why this school is right for this course of study. Write a bit more about your clear vision of success as a student at this school -- and then as a graduate of it. Let the reader see into your future.
