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"Since childhood, I am attracted to electronic gadgets" Grad admission SOP(international student)


sopvisp 1 / 1  
Aug 6, 2014   #1
Name: Vishal Patel Electrical and Computer Engineering

I have completed Bachelor of Engineering in Electrical and Electronics engineering after completion of diploma in Electrical engineering. I wish to pursue for master of engineering in Electrical engineering with specialization in computer engineering or relevant.

Since childhood, I am attracted to electronic gadgets. I was been curious to know how the gadgets work and how they are made. My father manufactures electrical transformers. So, I am very thankful to my dad as I have the place to learn in the workshop of our family business. During school vacation, I am used to spend my time in the workshop. At an early age, I learned basic skills like soldering and transformer core making which helped later in my academic career to understand fundamental clearly. However, at an early age, I didn't have an understanding of the science behind the use of each component in the making, but later learned throughout my diploma and bachelor as I have already seen the making of electrical and electronics instruments. Thus, my interest pushed me in the field of electrical engineering and I enjoy what I'm doing.

My journey in electrical engineering started after completing 10th standard as I got lucky to get admitted to a diploma program in one of the best universities in my state (province). During the diploma, I was too excited to bring my interest to the next level as curriculum consists of a combination of theory and practical works. During the program, I realized that I have an interest in digital systems, microprocessor based system and I love writing code and I performed well in those subjects. I got 'A' in computer programming and 'B+' in 'Digital Electronics & Microprocessor' in diploma.

In my curriculum, I acquired two industrial training. I have taken training in 'XXXXXXXX' as an intern for two months. I learned making of servo based voltage stabilizers, constant voltage transformers and isolation transformers. In the next semester, I was appointed in 'XXXXXXX' as an intern for two months. Company has expertise in making power and control panels for plants. Throughout this training, I learned need and working of switchgears systems, ways of controlling electrical parameters and necessary sequence of action to control equipment in plants.

In final semester, I presented the project as a part of the curriculum. I have successfully completed project, 'PC based DC Dual motor controller' with the help of other three group members. We have demonstrated DC motor direction controlling and breaking with the use of PC parallel port. First time, we have implemented 'H bridge configuration' in practice. I have enjoyed a lot in writing code for project in C language.

After completing the diploma, I had joined my father in business to help but I still wanted to extend my knowledge. So, I got admitted in Bachelor of Engineering in Electrical and Electronics Engineering. In this major having combination of electronics engineering with electrical engineering, it gave me an opportunity to learn VLSI systems, embedded system, industrial automations and several simulation techniques used currently in industries. I have also secured good grades in those subjects.

During the vacation of bachelor, I was fortunate to have self-training at 'XXXXXXX' as an intern for 15 days. I achieved knowledge of construction of analog volt meters and ampere meters and its working. In the 6th semester, as the mini project 'automatic water level controller' was successfully completed by me and other three group members. We have referred many industrial circuits available for practical use, but we have come up with our own basic digital circuit just with motive to implement theory in the practical project. The circuit consists of XOR gate and basic tripping mechanism with LED indication.

I have achieved a certificate of participation for one day seminar on "Near Field Diagnostics of Antennas & Radomes" & "Convex Optimization for Analysis of Small Antennas" organized by 'IEEE AP/MTT Joint Chapter, Gujarat, India' held at my institute campus.

In final semester, as the final year project, 'Automatic book borrowing and returning system' was successfully completed by me and other two group member. This was my dream project. We all were working on project from two semesters to make successful. We have demonstrated a small prototype model of the idea of having an automatic system in a library which is capable of issuing and returning books without any human assistant. Whole project consists of a small physical DC motor based mechanism controlled by a microcontroller. Code was written in C compatible with the microcontroller's instruction set. System was designed to access with the help of RFID system given to users to issue or to return books.

Further, I am interested to pursue in Master's program in the field of electrical engineering with computer engineering or relevant as specialization. I will be honored to be student of your university as the department has highly qualified and experienced faculty in the field of the computer engineering and embedded systems. In addition, your offering master's program comprises lists of courses in which I have a strong interest. My goal is to gain expertise in developing systems comprises of code and hardware designed to perform specific tasks automatically.

I thank you for giving me an opportunity to express myself.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Aug 9, 2014   #2
Hello, first I will show you a problem with verb tense:
Since childhood, I am have been attracted...

Again, here is a problem with the verb tense, and it is the same verb tense as the previous sentence:
I was have been curious to know about how the gadgets work and how they are made.

I thank you for giving me an opportunity to express myself.

I like this sentence a lot... it is unique; I don't think I have ever seen this sentence in an essay. It's great...

But one thing that is not as unique is the first paragraph. The first paragraph is a lot like the first paragraph of many other admission essays. Many people write about how they have always been interested in such and such - and they say, "from an early age I have always been interested..." And I think this is too common. I don't think it is useful to tell the reader that you have been interested since an early age, but you can show the reader an example and let the reader figure it out. I think you should get rid of the first two sentences and start with the interesting sentence:

Since childhood, I am attracted to electronic gadgets. I was been curious to know how the gadgets work and how they are made.
I think this interesting sentence should be the first sentence:
My father manufactures electrical transformers. So, I am very thankful to my dad, as I have the place he gave me the opportunity to learn in the workshop of our family business. During school vacation, I am used to spend my..

: )
OP sopvisp 1 / 1  
Aug 14, 2014   #3
Thanks for feedback. Please guide me how to improve this problem. I can understand tenses but while using them in essays, I find out inappropriate sentence construction.


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